Should children recieve more discipline?

After all, the thing children strive the most for, is parental acceptance & love

Dearly sorry but I don't think that is true. More of a half and half.

Children get alot of things from their parents. Personalities are normally either strongly like one or mixed. And parents should stop and think before they do anything. For instance if your child hurts someone else in public the parent should think. When I was a kid did I ever do this? If yes then what was the punishment? Did it help in a good way? The act accordingly. If no, then they should also think from the childs point of view. When they were younger what type of punishments worked on them.

One of the worst punishments is physically hurting them. Most of the time it just causes fear. Fear of not doing anything is never a good thing. You shouldn't control your children with the fear of them getting hurt. Now a smack is fine as long as it is resonable.

I'm a teenager still. I get punished by getting ground from certain things. It works but sometimes it is unreasonable. I get bad grades? i get grounded. If I'm struggling? I get grounded.

Now I haven't ever really gotten beaten. When I was younger but not much. I have 4 siblings 3 are younger than 10 one is 17. Now my mom has such little time but we all get punished with something worse. Depending on what type of household a child grows up in affects how they will be alot. No matter what type of consistent punishments there are. My first couple words included words that children learn when in school. The "Bad Words".
I grew and am growing up in a not so good household. Im older and it is getting worse. But im not as affected as my younger sisters are.

Derek and sphynx you make excellent points. But most of the time it is the parents fault. Not the child's. Some cases it is the childs but most times it comes up from something the parent did and that is the reason they act out negatively.

Ok 1 - What was the point in pulling my quote? I found little in your post relating to it..

nightmare2 said:

But most of the time it is the parents fault. Not the child's. Some cases it is the childs but most times it comes up from something the parent did and that is the reason they act out negatively.

^ that = my main point in just about all my posts

Now here is the question Should I Child receive more discipline though a punishment like grounding or should they receive through getting slapped for something, cause I have been though this conversation enough with my mother and i have come to see that a non physical punishment might be improved before a physical one. This is only because in recent times they have changed to a point where a parent can't hit a child cause DSS and other child service get notified and the parent gets in trouble for child abuse even if it is the child who cause the whole thing to happen. My mom has pointed that out many times she always referred back to when she was young and that her parents could hit her with a belt or with their own hands and not get in trouble but if a parent were to do that today then they would get into trouble if anyone ever found out, which today knowing the odds someone is always bound to find out.

kimmy456 said:

This is only because in recent times they have changed to a point where a parent can't hit a child cause DSS and other child service get notified and the parent gets in trouble for child abuse even if it is the child who cause the whole thing to happen.

That's exactly what using physical punishment on a child is though. Abuse. I fail to see how so many people can claim that using physical violence on a child = disciple.

Do we allow adults to using physical violence on one another if one of these adults in some way wrong the other? No, we arrest both parties & punish according to the situation. So why on earth do parents think they have the right to smack around a child for their own short comings?

My mom has pointed that out many times she always referred back to when she was young and that her parents could hit her with a belt or with their own hands and not get in trouble but if a parent were to do that today then they would get into trouble if anyone ever found out, which today knowing the odds someone is always bound to find out.

Times & methods change. Sadly however, parents are also getting far, far to lazy in their responsibilities. I've seen it time and time again with my own family & the family of my friends. The parents are more focused on themselves than raising their children in a positive manner. If they were to set boundaries and reinforce these boundaries with consistency & appropriate punishments then things would get a lot easier. That's something I've witnessed from growing up.

I was a child who spent half my life in a home where inconsistent physical punishment was used (my father) and half my life where consistent reinforcement of boundaries was used, and positive reinforcement of acheivements was used when I lived with my mother.

As a result, my relationship with my father is almost nonexistent, whereas my relationship with my mother is extremely close. The same can be said for a lot of my friends who had similar upbringings.

Well I'm going to start backwards here.

sphynxx said:

As a result, my relationship with my father is almost nonexistent, whereas my relationship with my mother is extremely close. The same can be said for a lot of my friends who had similar upbringings.

Now see many people can probably say that they got physical punishment cause that could drive children away from them. But for me it was a different case, cause I have more of a positive child/parent relationship with my mom than with my father but that isn't because of physical punishment, it was because my father in a way, when I was little showed that he loved me and stuff like that but now, its like she doesn't show the love anymore to me. That along with him drinking to get drunk sometimes and the stuff he has pulled that is what pushes me away. My mom on the other hand is supportive and stuff when I go to do stuff, she just never laid down a physical punishment for me the worst I got when it came to a punishment was going a whole school year without T.V, video games or any of the systems I had.

sphynxx said:

Times & methods change. Sadly however, parents are also getting far, far to lazy in their responsibilities. I've seen it time and time again with my own family & the family of my friends. The parents are more focused on themselves than raising their children in a positive manner. If they were to set boundaries and reinforce these boundaries with consistency & appropriate punishments then things would get a lot easier. That's something I've witnessed from growing up.

That is true but I have also seen parents for have give out punishments when the littlest things happen. Not with me of course but with my friends, and other people from my school, of course there are parents who else their kids get away with a lot and that isn't good either but that might be because sometimes the parents don't feel like they have the control to punish their kids, whether it be physical or just a grounding. Cause some kids will literally either ignore their parents or strike their parents back. Because of the parents holding back is probably what lead to kids today thinking that they could get away with so much and not worry about being punished or disciplined.

sphynxx said:

That's exactly what using physical punishment on a child is though. Abuse. I fail to see how so many people can claim that using physical violence on a child = disciple.

There are many opinions on this and I bet there are parents out there who either still use physical punishments or who think that they should be allowed to use physical punishments cause the groundings and stuff like that aren't doing enough to teach a kid what is wrong and what is right


I personally don't think that a physical punishment should be use as a way to discipline a kid, because the only thing that the parent is teaching them is that when they do something wrong they get hit or belted then what is that child going to do when they grow up and have a child of their own, they get brought up with hitting and stuff for when they do something wrong the child will pass it on to their kids. It would created a never ending cycle...but also more problems if more parents get caught abusing their kids but calming that it was only the kids punishment.

« Last edited by kimmy456 on Dec 26th 2010 »

It depends on what the child has done. If its only minor then they should be told not to do it again, talking would be fine. But if its like big trouble already like drugs and alcohol or even gambling then it should be MORE. But i'm a pro productive punishment, which means, not only giving punishment for the sake of the child to suffer but I do punishments that will enable them to learn something. Like sending them to a summer boot camp or getting them to volunteer for community service. Its a good way, because in that span of time they will be able to realize what they have done is WRONG

« Last edited by Sherwin on Jul 8th 2012 »