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The Supercheats Newsletter:March

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Craizen Posted: 20:46 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983750
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Banner by Ozzo



My job is unbelievable. I'll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn, is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm not sure she even showers, much less shaves her "womanly" parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the damn stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and, I'm sure, after work. He probably hasn't been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he's only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960's and, to make things worse, he brings his stupidly big dog to work. Every day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it's trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single day.


Anyway, I drive these nice,slow, people around in my van and we solve mysteries and stuff.{Vasco!-Ed} Okay. So despite our entire crazy SC newsletter Drama, we are having one for the Glorious Month of March! Yes, we could have let it die. But we are better than that! Craizen, your lovely SC obsessed Crazy person took it upon himself to whip you up a proper article. We are having some new features, some old ones, and expect new Graphic Banners and rewards. I would love to have help though, because I have no banter skills. So since I humbly wasted two four hours of my spring break you should read it. Also because I am awesome. So be excited, I worked hard on this.


~Contents~
Achievements
Submissions
Reviews
Gfxs Breakdown
Team News
Stuff
Interview

Interview

Spoiler:
click to reveal


Posting Achievements! {Excitement?-ED}
Sad Posters 1000 to 3000
Lovely.

Happy posters-4000 to 7000
Craizen-5k

Big Ball of Sunshine Posters-8000 to 12000
Know-Your-Role-10k
K-Dawg-9k
Forgoten_Scars- 8k

Ritalin Posters-13000-20000
I think Derek has some.

The I spend every waking hour on SC instead of doing important things like homework oh and sleep posters-21000+ {You know you want it-ED}
Rlly?


Anniversaries
GoldenPili- Two years

Volke-Seven years

InvertAlpha-Four years

CrazyCheats-Four years


Submissions
Cyndevia-100

El Pollo..El Loco-1600

Shock95-400..Maybe 500 by the time this is posted {Nope. He Disappeared. Whatta Louse-ED}

Glaceon-500

Real Birthdays
Know-Your-Role-16 {Dude, why no come to your party? We had balloons and everything-ED}
Craizen-17
Ryuujin-16
Jirachi X- 19

Team Achievements/News-
Ninetailed Fox- 100k+ Team Posts


R.I.P
Dark Breloom

P.I.R
Austinanymous
StripedPanties {LEXI-CHAN WE LUVE YOUSE-ED}
SykoSef
Twilight Warrior
Tegan41{Be Scared-Matt}{>.<-ED}


Jokes..Everybody loves jokes


A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a beer. There are some peanuts in a dish beside him. After a while, he goes to eat one. Before he puts it in his mouth it says, "Sir, that's a very nice shirt you have on tonight." The man thanks then promptly eats it. He reaches for another, and it says, "Have you lost some weight, sir? You look good." The man smiles and eats that one too. He turns to the bartender and says, "Hey, these are some nice peanuts you got here!" The bartender says, "Yes sir, they're complimentary."

A guy is driving down a country road. He sees a bunch of guys walking in a line. Since that's the way he's going, he follows it to the front. At the front of the line are two hearses and a man walking his dog. The man in the car is intrigued, so he gets up and goes over to the man with the dog."What is the front hearse for, sir?" he asks. The guy with the dog says, "Well, my dog attacked and killed my wife." "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," the first guy says. "But what's the second hearse for?" The guy replies, "Well, my dog also attacked and killed my mother-in-law." "Oh, I'm sorry for your loss," says the first guy. He walks in silence for a minute, and then asks, "Can I borrow your dog?" The guy with the dog replies, "Get in line."


Note: Somewhat mild language
Spoiler:
click to reveal



Reviews

Bulletstorm
Do you remember the first time you shot an explosive barrel? That sharp blast not only heralded gamers infatuation with reducing enemies to pulpy puddles, it also laid the foundation for interactive environments in shooters. Clever gunmen have trained their sights on red barrels and other hazards for decades, learning the language of creative carnage. All you know about killing with style using your surroundings has been a prelude to the bloody playground of Bulletstorm.


GI Rating:9.25
Concept: Bulletstorm delivers a boot-full of variety and originality to the stagnating FPS genre
Graphics: Masterful animations, stunning backdrops, and a vibrant color palette assault the senses
Sound: Your ears will be treated to snappy dialogue, top-notch voiceovers, and blood-pumping metal riffs
Playability: The game controls like a dream, allowing you to easily unleash nightmares upon your foes
Entertainment: Perfect for fans of penis jokes, swearing, gore, and tight gameplay
Replay: High


Read more

Spoiler:
click to reveal


Dead Space Two

GI Rating 9.0
Concept: Isaac Clark is infected, and his sanity is slowly trickling away. His mental state becomes the backbone of Dead Space 2�??s plot and action. Can Isaac save mankind from the spreading necromorph virus, or is he a new threat?
Graphics: An astounding level of detail accompanies every object. The level designs also give no hint of where enemies may be lying in wait
Sound: If you turn off the volume, it isn�??t the same game. Much of the tension is brought to life by excellent sound design and music that flows with the on-screen horror
Playability: The gunplay mechanics and payoff for most of the shots you fire couldn�??t be better. The escalating difficulty brings unwanted tension as the game nears its conclusion
Entertainment: A dread-drenched experience that finds new ways to scare and reward Dead Space fans
Replay: High

When Isaac Clarke boarded the derelict mining vessel USG Ishimura, his actions were fueled by hope. His girlfriend Nicole was stranded on this ship. He did everything in his power to reach her. His search only led to death. The Ishimura was contaminated by a biological threat. Everyone aboard it, including his love, was lost to the disease. Although Isaac survived, he couldn�??t outrun the contagion. He was infected.
In Dead Space 2, Isaac isn�??t a stalwart hero spitting out one-liners. He�??s a flawed character. His deteriorating state of mind adds tension to an already unnerving atmosphere. He sees ghosts, and his consciousness periodically shifts from reality to a horrifying memory.


Read More

Spoiler:
click to reveal


Next Month:

The Youse
Portal two Review written by Moi

And I am sad to inform that is all for now. I hope to do better next month. I will accept cool intro jokes and any help I can receive. Sayonara!


Writers and Staff:
Craizen, the Majority
Vasco, Opening Joke
Kazulsk8er,Jokes not in spoiler
www.gameinformer.com, reviews

We do not apologize for missed things.Smile


« Last edited by Craizen on Apr 1st 2011 »
Craizen Posted: 20:55 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983753
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Does anyone know what's with the number boxes?

DEREK.Pin.
sphynxx Posted: 21:00 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983755
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.:I Am What You Fear Most:.
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I like how tags dun work :D Also; what's with all the strange symbols I'm seeing Eh


<3 to Craizen for the Avatar & TheLlama for the Signature.


"Forever in this heart of mine, an everlasting bond. From now until the end of time, are memories so fond."


Juli said:I am officially a Sphynx fangirl. C:
Craizen Posted: 21:02 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983758
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I.Do.Not.Know. It's making me mad, becuase I'm not sure how to fix them...
kazualsk8r Posted: 21:03 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983759
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That came off....well the jokes were the best part. Heck, I'll do more next time.
Rip Betty white
Craizen Posted: 21:17 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983765
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So it has something to do with illegal charcater or something, but not getting most of them :/
peanut butter ownage Posted: 21:38 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983776
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CRAIZEN WHY U NO WAIT FOR G N A REPLAY?!!?!??!


imaloony8.0 Posted: 21:48 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983784
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Hey, you used your crappy achievements instead of my crappy achievements. What gives?
You're making me angry...

Wanna listen to me rant about stuff? I started a blog!
https://theloonybinblog.wordpress.com/
Craizen Posted: 21:49 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983785
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I honestly never got them loony
peanut butter ownage Posted: 21:56 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983792
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peanut butter ownage said:CRAIZEN WHY U NO WAIT FOR G N A REPLAY?!!?!??!


Answer me or you won't be able to enjoy your weekend. I'll let your imagination run wild.


Craizen Posted: 22:06 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983808
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oookaaay then. You can still send them. It's no prob to edit them in.
imaloony8.0 Posted: 22:07 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983809
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Craizen said:I honestly never got them loony


LIES.

Naw, but seriously. I'm looking at the sent message right now. Check your MSN again.

Wanna listen to me rant about stuff? I started a blog!
https://theloonybinblog.wordpress.com/
peanut butter ownage Posted: 22:07 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983810
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Okay, I'll get it in tomorrow, since I scrapped the one I already had partially written. -_____________-


Craizen Posted: 22:17 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983824
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I still have nothing LoonToon. It's not in my inbox,junk,or deleted folder. I've triple checked.
imaloony8.0 Posted: 22:36 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983836
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I resent it. Check again.

Wanna listen to me rant about stuff? I started a blog!
https://theloonybinblog.wordpress.com/
Craizen Posted: 22:49 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983843
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Everything will be fixed Sunday, maybe tomorrow, pending on if
v-gamer Posted: 22:51 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983845
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y so srs?
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^^ so, obviously Craizen just decided to cut out some articles from the Newsletter like he does to the rest of his sentences in most of his posts. :P
Avatar: In memory of ieatwyverns <3


Thank you, Vasco <3
Craizen Posted: 22:54 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983851
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Yes. It might have been more complete, but I have stupid Term Paper Crap. And my sentences aren't that choppy..Maybe......:/
X__x Posted: 23:07 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983860
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To be honest, I was looking forward to the January Newsletter. But that never happened because of the "joke" one. ;-;

Forgot I had this tag.

I'm also torn between Red and Green from Super Effective.
People kept asking me for minecraft skins. I now tell them to go to my website to request them.
Forgoten_Scars Posted: 23:25 Apr01 2011 Post ID: 2983865
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Craizen said:Does anyone know what's with the number boxes?

DEREK.Pin.

Did that before you even said anything. :L
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