Keep the story going.

And saw someone standing near the edge of the roof of the apartment building across the road. It was Jimi. Laura ran down the 29 flights of stairs from her apartment, across the road, then up 69 more flights of stairs before realising there was an elevator, and took the elevator to level 419 then ran up the stairs to the roof.

« Last edited by danielroxheaps on May 30th 2016 »

When she got there, she saw that Jimi had jumped across the road (it was a very narrow road) and landed on the roof of her apartment building. She began to suspect that he might be avoiding her. She called out to him. He turned around, smiled, and held something up. It was a bird's feather.

« Last edited by CrypticWizard on May 30th 2016 »

Laura jumps across the building and Jimi grabs her hand. He pulls her down the 29 flights of stairs and into his car and they drive to Jimi's house. Jimi puts the feather in a pot, pulls some switches, pushes some buttons and a little chick comes from the conveyor belt. Laura lets out an "aww" and holds the bird. "We should give it a name," Jimi says. "Yeah, because nobodys said that before," Laura replies. Jimi laughs. "Little Laura," Laura says and Jimi starts cracking up laughing. Laura punches his arm. Jimi rubs his arm and says to the bird, "Hello Little Laura!"

"For bloody sake call me something less cheesy please", Little Laura said. "And I'm a guy"

Jimi started laughing, then looked at the bird. "Y-you can talk?" "Of course I can, dumb@ss!" Little Laura replied. "We'll just call you LL," Laura says. "No," LL says.
"Or would you rather Little Laura, LL?"
"LL"
"Ok, then that's your name," Jimi says.

"So, as I was about to say", LL began while transforming into a cane toad shaped line an actual cane. "Our prohibitions of the towel rooms must commence in the Tuesday follo...oh crap I'm not lecturing right now", he finished, now in the form of a coat hanger with a green mouth and gold lips.

Jimi looked at LL. WTF?, he thought. "Uh Jimi?" Laura says, "What bird did you get this from?" Jimi looked at Laura. Jimi sighs, "Ok, I went back to Earth."
"YOU WHAT?!"
"Laura, you have to understand, I've been wanting to do this since I was a little boy."
"I told you not to go."
"I know that, but I'm not going to give up my childhood dream because you try to stop me."
"Uh, whats happening to LL?"
LL had pooped out a little bomb and was about to blow up Laura's apartment building.
"I was afraid this was going to happen. I didn't think bringing a bird into this galaxy would happen, there's a 10.6942% chance it would have happened."

Now that Jimi had been to Earth, Laura had a sudden urgency to kill Jimi. She couldn't resist. She severed his head and blended the body up into millions of pieces before feeding them to LL; now in the form of a goat.
"What did I tell you Jimi. If you go to Earth you die."
But none of that mattered. The bomb exploded.

« Last edited by Matt77 on Jun 1st 2016 »

But the blast radius of the bomb was only six inches. Laura barely felt a breeze from it. Unfortunately, LL, who had been sitting on top of the bomb, was obliterated. Stupid idiot, Laura thought to herself. She started to pick up Jimi's head, but then realized she didn't have any bag with her.

She decided she would give it to her neighbor Karl, who was extremely poor. He thanked her so much but soon realised whose head it was.
"HAHAHA GOTCHA!", he yelled in excitement. Karl and Jimi hated each other with a passion, so he decided to leave it up on display to show his victory. Also on display was a tennis ball from Earth. Laura caught sight of it.

She wondered why a tennis ball would be roughly the size of the Death Star, then she remembered that Earth was about 900 times bigger than Orgon (this planet) and everything on it was bigger, too. The thing was, anything that had originally come from Orgon would revert back to its original size once it returned. The tennis ball was not from Orgon, so it retained its Earth size.

« Last edited by CrypticWizard on Jun 4th 2016 »

"Hey Karl, have you ever been to Earth?", she asked.
"Oh yeah, heaps of times", he responded, not realising that he would likely be dead soon.

But Laura had forgotten her knife, so Karl would live, for now. As she was walking back to her apartment building, she quickly jumped aside to avoid being crushed when exactly 2,147 waffle irons fell from the sky. They hit the ground and shattered, and the pieces turned into macaroni noodles. Laura loved macaroni, and there was plenty here for the taking.

« Last edited by CrypticWizard on Jun 6th 2016 »

The problem was that macaroni's origin was Earth, so if she ate it she would have to commit suicide. So she passed, and decided to walk to a park.

But the nearest park was about 8,767 miles away, and her feet were already tired. She sat down on a nearby bench to rest for bit. This turned out to be a bad idea, however, because this was no ordinary bench.

It was a life-sucking bench. However she was quick to get up so she gained 3 years of life. After walking 2 metres (1-3 feet?) she arrived at the carpark. Her eyes darted across to sight her evil twin, Arual.

"Looking for something?" he says. Laura looked over to see that Arual had her knife. "What are you doing?" she says. "Revenge," he replies. "For what?" Laura says, she didn't think she'd done anything. "I could have had any sister in the world, but I had to have you," he yelled at her.She felt a sharp object pierce her skin, then she fell into nothingness.

"It's ok, I've got you", Nothingness said. Nothingness was an old friend of Laura's, and arch-enemy of Arual. He pulled the knife out and healed her with a glow coming out of his hand. Then he glared at Arual.

Spoiler:

Laura suddenly realised she has made it to the afterlife. That little b@stard Laura thought. She grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and made a plan for revenge.

« Last edited by danielroxheaps on Jun 8th 2016 »

Then she realised you can't write in the afterlife. She had been here before, 7 times to be exact. Nothingness entered the room.
"How are you feeling my dear?", he gently asked, with that same look of comfort he had when he delivered Laura the news that her Michael passed away. Laura glared at Nothingness, in one of her 'moods'.
"Like total s*** you @sshole. Why do you keep taking me to this place?", she asked and demanded.