Got any Funny Jokes (no Racial or Nasty stuff)

Ok, Here we go: What did the Ghost say to the Bee.?


Boobie.!!...HaaHaa TeeHee.!!

A Russian walks into a bar and orders a beer. "That will be one ruble," says the bartender."One Ruble!" the customer protests, "last week it was only fifty kopecks!" "Well," replies the bartender, "it's fifty kopecks for the beer and fifty kopecks for the perestroika." Reluctantly the customer gives the bartender a ruble and is surprised when the bartender gives him back fifty kopecks and says, "We are out of beer."

A little boy got on the bus and sat next to a man reading a book, And he noticed he had his collar on backwards. So he ask the man why he had his collar on backwards. The man who was a priest said "I am a Father". The little boy said, "My daddy doesn`t wear his collar like that".
The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of many". The boy said "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and 2 grandchildren and he doesn`t wear his collar that way".
The priest, getting impatient, said "I am the Father of hundreds", and went back to reading his book.
The little boy sat quietly for awhile , then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear a condom and put your pants on backwards instead of your collar".!!... haha tee hee...

A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighing twenty pounds. Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked,"Aren't you the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth?" "Yup, sure am!" "How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answered, "Ten pounds." The bartender said, "Why what happened? He did weigh twenty pounds. The proud father said "Just had him circumcised!"

What`s more Dangerous than pulling out a Sharks tooth.?

Giving a Porcupine a Back Rub.!!...

A brit, a Frenchman, and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden. "Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the brit."They must be British." "Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly they are French." "No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. They are Russian."

A wife went in to see a therapist and said "I`ve gota big problem doctor. Every time were in bed and my husband climaxes, He lets out an earsplitting yell".
"My dear," said the shrink. "that's completely natural. I don`t see what the problem is?"
"The problem is." she complained, "Is that it wakes me up!"

Billyo and KingofCorn are racing. Both in their cars they are adjacent one another at high speeds along the coast.

Unintentionally, they both veer off the cliff edge at exactly the same millisecond. So who wins?!

Society.

Is it just me or did billyo's joke go a little dirty?

K, Maybe that was a little dirty, But, I didn`t swear. Right?

No you didn't

How can you spot a Dogwood Tree.?

By its Bark.!!...
Haa, ha, haa. Oh, wooo! bad one Aey.?

Wow that's one for the fourth graders.

superblobby said:

Billyo and KingofCorn are racing. Both in their cars they are adjacent one another at high speeds along the coast.

Unintentionally, they both veer off the cliff edge at exactly the same millisecond. So who wins?!

Society.

Actually laughed, I applaud you my good sir

Society always wins

KingofCorn said:

Wow that's one for the fourth graders.

Yeah, I got that one, Off of One of those popsicle sticks.!!... lol..

Wow

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get across.

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs who lays on a porch?
Spoiler:

How many Pok�mon members does it take to screw in a Light Bulb.?

GIVE UP ? 5: 1 to hold the Bulb, And 4 to turn the Ladder.!!... Haa ha ha..!!