Where you from?

because backwards beliefs have soured it?

What makes my beliefs backwards? Are you saying your beliefs are the correct beliefs?

Hello there. First, an introduction.

Ever since declaring My Lawn an independent republican monarchy my quality of life has improved greatly. Now, before I am dismissed as a bot allow me to explain the advantages of living in Lawn.

Despite being completely independent, My Lawn acts as a peacekeeper for all other nations in the vicinity. On many occasions I have seen other garden's growing plants I just can't understand so I sometimes send my lawnmower drones to set them straight and bring to them the glorious freedom of an independent republican monarchy.

You may think, but KingofLawn, how can your people support such acts? The answer is incredibly simple. I maintain my population of gnomes incredibly well informed using Fox News. Fox never lies and only gives pure, unbiased, objective reports on world news. As an extra bonus he lives next to the cabbage patch and also takes care of mice. The people love him.

Of course, foreign dangers aren't the only thing the average Lawnican must worry about. Despite my best efforts to maintain order there can be inner conflict. For example, some people simply could not agree with what Bush (Also growing next to the cabbage patch) had to say. There have been debates but such clashes can also give rise to violence. Have no fear, however. All Lawnicans may freely posses any number of firearms to defend themselves from fellow Lawnicans. As violent as this may seem, it keeps all ne'er-do-wells in a constant state of fear. The system works, and as an added bonus, if ever My Lawn is invaded, every Lawnican will be able to defend their familes.

Anyway, this is just an overall view regarding the inner workings of My Lawn. Any questions will be answered promptly and truthfully, though most information is made readily available through Fox along with other news animals.

With that said, I would like to invite anyone wishing to join My Lawn, a place where all you dreams can come true.

- KingofLawn. "God Bless Lawn!"

KingofLawn said:

Hello there. First, an introduction.

Ever since declaring My Lawn an independent republican monarchy my quality of life has improved greatly. Now, before I am dismissed as a bot allow me to explain the advantages of living in Lawn.

Despite being completely independent, My Lawn acts as a peacekeeper for all other nations in the vicinity. On many occasions I have seen other garden's growing plants I just can't understand so I sometimes send my lawnmower drones to set them straight and bring to them the glorious freedom of an independent republican monarchy.

You may think, but KingofLawn, how can your people support such acts? The answer is incredibly simple. I maintain my population of gnomes incredibly well informed using Fox News. Fox never lies and only gives pure, unbiased, objective reports on world news. As an extra bonus he lives next to the cabbage patch and also takes care of mice. The people love him.

Of course, foreign dangers aren't the only thing the average Lawnican must worry about. Despite my best efforts to maintain order there can be inner conflict. For example, some people simply could not agree with what Bush (Also growing next to the cabbage patch) had to say. There have been debates but such clashes can also give rise to violence. Have no fear, however. All Lawnicans may freely posses any number of firearms to defend themselves from fellow Lawnicans. As violent as this may seem, it keeps all ne'er-do-wells in a constant state of fear. The system works, and as an added bonus, if ever My Lawn is invaded, every Lawnican will be able to defend their familes.

Anyway, this is just an overall view regarding the inner workings of My Lawn. Any questions will be answered promptly and truthfully, though most information is made readily available through Fox along with other news animals.

With that said, I would like to invite anyone wishing to join My Lawn, a place where all you dreams can come true.

- KingofLawn. "God Bless Lawn!"

What are the benefits of living at Your Lawn?

I notice some symbolism.

Question time!

1. So does your entire country die between October and March?
2. Is your biggest threat the neighbors dogs or the kids with the slip n slide?
3. What's your biggest export? Import?
4. How do you plan to handle the ground hog crisis?

No further questions.

My Lawn is a utopia, just like SuperCheats.

As a citizen of My Lawn, it is not my duty to provide benefits for you but your duty to provide benefits for all citizens. Here in My Lawn, we believe in individual improvement and working to provide for your family. I hope you don't expect My Lawn to provide you with everything you need.

- "God Bless Lawn!"

You didn't answer my questions.

"most information is made readily available through Fox along with other news animals". Please pay attention.

I will answer your questions, though. And if you do not like the answers you are quite simply Godless.

1. My Lawn never dies and never will because God loves My Lawn.
2. Nothing is truly a threat to My Lawn. That said, we wanted more slides so we bombed the kids and took it for ourselves whilst showing their family how to live like real Lawnicans.
3. We import Lawn Bucks and export freedom.
4. Well, we are currently in talks with Bill Murray about resolving the time loop problem that is currently terrorizing our citizens. His failure to comply with our conditions has forced My Lawn to subtly threaten Bill Murray with nuclear warfare. God is on our side.

- "God Bless Lawn!"

Oh you monster! Do you even have free healthcare!?

No.

That's for socialists, who are the devil.

- "God Bless Lawn!"

I saw your views are wrong. Mine are balanced. Quit insulting me you piece of Sod.

Not Sod, God. Every Lawnican feels God's love in their hearts and therefore are pieces of him. I do not intend to insult you. I simply wish to share my blessed creed, approved and spread by Fox (the one who lives next to the cabbage patch) to all corners of SuperCheats.

As the king of the independent republican monarchy of My Lawn my views cannot be debated. They are the word of God and I will defend them with force if necessary.

- "God Bless Lawn!"

Then why are your views so...dangerous?

The world cannot be kept in working order without My Lawn's threat of imminent danger.

- "God Bless Lawn!"

KingofCorn said:

Why? It's a happy place!

Matt77 said:

This forum is anything but. You of all people should know that.

KingofCorn said:

It's only unhappy because... I shouldn't say.

Avengein said:

because backwards beliefs have soured it?

KingofCorn said:

What makes my beliefs backwards? Are you saying your beliefs are the correct beliefs?

Ok ok ok, KingofCorn, here is the irony of the quoted posts above.

You say this forum is a happy place, then you agree it's unhappy for a reason you don't want to say. Avengein says the reason is 'it's been soured by backwards beliefs' without directly referencing whose beliefs are backwards. You then ask him 'what makes my beliefs backwards', insinuating that your beliefs are making this forum an unhappy place regardless of whether or not you believe them to be 'backwards' (which, for the record, they are).

You tripped over your own words, sunshine!

I was being sarcastic about it being a happy place. Whose beliefs would you be talking about? You've been calling mine backwards for weeks.

« Last edited by KingofCorn on Aug 9th 2014 »

Wow, are you really so dumb that you can't understand what I said? Even if English isn't my first language, it looks very clear to me.

I understand. You were saying that I am insinuating that my "backwards beliefs" make the forums unhappy.

Yes! And look at that, I taught you a new word too <3

Insinuating? I've known that for years.