1. Reuse, reuse, reuse. Why use a new needle every time? Same for bandaids.
2. Sharing is caring. Save money by sharing toothbrushes with roommates.
3. The more the better. Why take two pills when you can take them all?
4. Mix and match. Those pills can get disgusting so mix them up!
5. Who needs surgeons? Just grab a rusty butterknife and do it yourself.
6. Never trust doctors. If they're so smart why are there so many of them?
7. Make it yourself. Stop giving greedy pharmaceutical companies money and make your own medicine. All you need is the chemicals under the kitchen sink.
8. Cauterize everything. If you get a papercut you will need to stop that bleeding. Just grab that rusty butterknife, heat it up(microwave will do), and hold it on that cut.
9. Hospital dumpsters. A buffet of free medical equipment waiting just for you.
10. Pills don't expire.
11. Never go to a hospital. People die in those places. Only go there for the Free medical equipment.
12. MRIs. If you do happen to go to a hospital make sure you get an MRI. But remember it won't work if you don't swallow a handful of BBs first.
13. Vets and doctors. Same thing. If you dog has a runny nose and you do to take some of his medication.
14. Ipecac. Whenever you have a stomach ache drink an entire bottle.
15. Quick clot. Designed to stop intense bleeding. It also works for internal bleeding. Just swallow the powder.
16. Sleeping meds. Take one pill for every hour you want to sleep.
« Last edited by KingofCorn on Nov 27th 2014 »