Hypothetical - Problem Now Solved

This information below is a hypothetical. You know where someone talks to another person about an issue they/someone they know is having and wants advice without revealing who they are and the specifics that may give it away? That's what the below is.

So there's this person. They are in a really strange situation. Actually it's a pretty horrible one, but they are coping pretty well with it. No one knows this person is going through what they are going through. You could say it's a bit of a secret they're keeping. They want to tell someone soon about what's going on; they need to blurt it out soon. But they don't know who to tell. They could tell one of their good friends, but they are worried it may complicate things unnecessarily. They're also crap at telling secrets.

However, there's another friend they could tell. They could also just tell everyone and make it easy but then it makes things messy and it could backfire. Does this person tell their good friend, who has kept a secret in the past, or tell the other person? It would potentially be easier to tell the second person but having a good friend who knows the truth would certainly make things easier for him.

tl;dr - Someone's struggling through a struggle and needs to know who they should tell, or whether to not tell anybody at all.

If the hypothetical is too complicated/makes no sense you can give up and not reply I don't care. This person would just like some advice.

« Last edited by Matt77 on Oct 19th 2016 »

lt's difficult to give advice when you don't know the facts as to what the problem this person you know has. Are we talking about girlfriend problems, being gay, or something sinister that needs to be stopped and will involve the police?

Agreed, it really depends on the subject of the secret.
But then it also depends on what the person is expecting from telling. If they just want to share it to get it off their chest and then expect the other person to keep it quiet then its not really a long term solution. If they believe the person being told will be able to help and can be relied upon to help then its probably a good idea.

Generally the only good advice here though would be not to ask advice from forum strangers. People on forums are odd.

Here comes one of those odd people on forums...ahem

If you need to talk in private for some advice Im here for you.

Yeah, depends on the subject. Some people can deal with keeping stuff to themselves but others need to confide in a friend with things. Depends with what they can handle. If they want someone to understand they should tell someone they trust.

Never tell everyone something you consider as a "secret" or think about being a secret. I have a friend who knows my secrets and I know his.

Dennis - I wasn't very specific because usually people are terrible at giving hypotheticals and everyone then knows who or what the person is talking about.

Mark- Telling someone would result in more good than bad, but I can't be certain. Also I'm sharing this here because this is my second home. I trust you guys to help.

Nikki - Well, how do you know I'm the person? (but anyways thanks for the offer in the future)

Dan - Tbh it's more likely that this person isn't going to tell anyone, or if they do only the one person. I believe they can live with it for a while. They previously had a secret they kept (but wasn't as bad as this one) and it wasn't really that hard once they got into the rhythm of things.

Again, it also depends whether they want someone to understand them or not.

They do. They just want someone to know the truth. But they are also unsure because while it's unlikely, their friendship could be ruined or just become weird.

Matt77 said:

Nikki - Well, how do you know I'm the person? (but anyways thanks for the offer in the future)

I don't but Im here anyway

Matt77 said:

They do. They just want someone to know the truth. But they are also unsure because while it's unlikely, their friendship could be ruined or just become weird.

If it's a good friend then it won't be ruined or become weird. Unless it's about them, then you'd be better off talking to someone else.

Wasn't National Coming Out day on Tuesday?

The person is going to leave things for a while. They appreciate the advice you've all given.

*Waiting for Nikki to post something like "Glad I could help you with your problem Matt"

Did you even get my message? Or did I do something wrong?

Huh?

Did you get the PM I sent you relevant to this topic? I'm asking because it's in my sent messages and unless I've struck a nerve with you I expected some sort of answer. It's fine if you don't want to send one but I just wanted to make sure you got the message.

danielroxheaps said:

*Waiting for Nikki to post something like "Glad I could help you with your problem Matt"

There we are

God you're just like Mig lol. Avoiding the question. Oh well, I found someone else to talk to. I guess we'll see what will happen in the future...

Huh. I put "no." and it seemed to have disappeared...