dbz: good and evil

THEY ARE AWSOME MAN YOU ROCK OUT LOUD!!!

thanks im doing the next chapter now

yyyyeeeessss

ok im done with chapter 9 im about to post it

first before i post chapter 10 i would like to know (anyone may pick how long this is) does anyone here want this chapter to be long short or in the middle?

Chapter 9
???? Rayku/Ray
Goku:Ray when r u returning to your timeline
Ray:I don?t know?
Rayku: (how could he get away like that)
Ray: (whatss!!!!!!!!!! Happening !!!!!!!!!!) ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Goku: ! Ray whats wrong!!!
Rayku: ray whats the matter?
Dark Ray: im no longer Rayku im Dark Rayku
Dark Rayku: you got that
Rayku:I had an evil form but never a dark form
Goku:we better try to help ray
Dark Rayku:my name is dark Rayku not Ray
Goku: You B*st**d how could you do that to him
Rayku: Ray !!! y you haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ss2 Rayku:lets fight then Dark Rayku
They fought and Rayku was too weak even as a super saiyan 2
Rayku falls to the ground from the battle
Goku:no Rayku well I better fight then haaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ss4 Goku: Now!!!!!! Lets fight!!!!!
Dark Ray and Goku fought
Goku won but his two friends were really damaged up
Goku: don?t worry guys I will save you
So it looks like Goku saved Rayku and Ray but now we know that Ray has a dark side/form
Next time Janemba will make a come back to life but not norm,al he will be dark/evil and not normal (half good half bad)

im going to make a new thread and write (name) chapters 1-9 dbz good and evil

does anyone want to be in this comic before i go on and who wants the next episode to be long or short (anyone make one vote if i should make the next episode long or short)ur choice (anyone who votes) i may be here on Suday im not sure i may go to Church i dont know

i want to be in it and i would like it short

ok i need basic details of your person first ok Jay

hi everyone,im back

heres the next chapter
Chapter 10
Janemba returns (Evil)
Rayku:whoa where am I?
Chichi:you?re at Gokus house
Rayku:what happened Goku?
Goku:ummmm you and Ray got the fight of a life time and I stoped Ray and saved you both
Rayku:ok reminde me of that when I want to fight Ray
Goku: ok Rayku
Rayku: wheres Ray though
Goku and Chichi:hes over in the frint room watching Tv (Tele-vision)
Rayku:ok I just wanted to make sure hes safe
Chichi:y?
Rayku: Goku didn?t you tell her yet?
Goku:what?about you and your son
Rayku:yeah
Chichi:son?Rayku is too young to have a Son is it possible?
Goku:in the future
Chichi:what do u mean by the future
Goku:Ray is Raykus son from the future
Chichi:no wonder why hes taller then him
Rayku:hey it?s the future what do you think hes going to be shorter than me and beable to travel back in time
Chichi:well its possible right?
Goku:yeah I think so
Rayku:ok Goku I think im ok but I need to return to the otherworld they only let me come here on earth to help my son Ray
Goku:ok see ya
Chichi:bye Rayku
Ray:hey wheres Rayku?
Goku: he just left to go back to otherworld
Ray: huh he?s still dead
Goku: yeah he just came back to try and save you
Ray leaves
Chichi: Goku do you really think that Rayku will have a son named Ray when he grows up
Goku: yeah but Rays real name is Rayku we call him Ray cause they both have the same name
Rayku:hey why is everyone here dead?
???:Roarrrrrrrrrr I am back and Evil
Rayku:who are you? and y r u here?\
???:my name is Janemba I am back and evil
it looks like Ray is all alone in otherworld and has to face Janemba evil will he get killed or will someone rescue him who knows hopefully Rayku kills Janemba or some body
Next chapter
Chapter 11
Janemba is Back

Chapter 11
Janemba is back
Rayku:uh uh uh (hes gonna kill me)
Janemba:I shall kill you with all my might roarrrrrr Victory Cannon!!!!!!!
Rayku:what!! That?s Gotenkses move!!!!!
???:Big bang attack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rayku:what the?
Janemba:who dares block my move
Someone or something flies over to them
Vegeta:I did because im not letting Rayku get killed I want to have a great fight with him one day
Janemba:like that will happen I will bring you to your forever death
Vegeta: shut the He** up Janemba
Janemba:you shut up Vegeta
Rayku:vegeta lets fight this guy
Vegeta:only if you don?t mess up again
Rayku:what do you mean mess up?
Vegeta:you remember when me and you faced Ray and Goku
Rayku:ohh that don?t worry I wont
Vegeta:fine then lets kill him
Rayku:Haaaaaaaaa Hyyyyyoooooooookennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!
Vegeta:Final flash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So they fought Janemba
A smoke screen was made after the two attacks were launched
And no body can see anything
Janemba was knocked out but not damaged too much vegeta was surprised and was in shock
Vegeta:what!!!!! Hes only ko(ed) with both of those attacks I cant even stand both attacks
Janemba:uhhhhhhhhhh Vegeta you are weak and so are you Rayku ur even worse I bet your parents were even weaker than you
Rayku:what you say haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ss4 Rayku:do you still want to fight me
Vegeta:im going super saiyan 5 haaaaaaaaaaa
Ss5 Vegeta:there now lets fight this guy and see how weak he calls us
Wow Vegeta is dead and helping Rayku defeat Janemba I cant wait until the next chapter this is amazing how Rayku used ss4 from anger instead of going to super saiyan 3 he used super saiyan 4. will Vegeta overcome super saiyan 5?just wait until the next chapter
Chapter 12
Raykus power

Special early
Episode
(part of episode)
Chapter 40 (Last episode)
The Future
Rayku is now 24 years old
Ray returned to his timeline years ago (not many)
Goku:is still alive with super saiyan 6
Rayku only went up to super saiyan 4 (assent saiyan in ss4)
Ray is only 11 years old right now
Rayku:Rayku are you happy to be my son?
Ray:yes dad
Sango:hey Rayku do you know why we got married?
Rayku: no I don?t
Goku:RAYKU HURRY both RAYKUS COME QUICK!!
Rayku:whats wrong?
Goku:somethings in the city
That?s all I don?t want to spoil the surprise

Chapter 12
Raykus power
Rayku:man this guy is powerful my gosh we need Goku or some body
Vegeta:no I don?t need kakorot
Rayku:y don?t we ask him for help?
Vegeta: I cant tell you leave it at that Rayku
Rayku:ok
Meanwhile on
Earth
Ray:so you mean I cant even go to otherworld to see my dad
Goku:no you can go there he cant come here
Ray:ok so im going see ya Goku
Chichi: my gosh Ray has gotten so big I never knew he was so strong and tall
Goku see ya Ray!!!!
Ray flies to the otherworld
Ray: well im hoping that I make it in time cause there are two strong powers and my dads
AT OtherWorld
Ss2 Rayku: Vegeta cant you beat him im losing power
Ss5 Vegeta:not alone I need you cause im not even strong enough to beat this guy alone
Ss1 Rayku:yeah but Vegeta face him for a few minutes and then I could help you
Ss5 Vegeta:errrrrrrrrrrr
Vegeta punches Rayku
Rayku:what was that for
Ss5 Vegeta:for being weak
Rayku:im not weak I just need to regain my power
Ss5 Vegeta:your weak to me
Rayku:errr
Ss5 Vegeta:shut up and recover
So Vegeta fights the huge creature Vegeta doesn?t beat him but he does so much harm Janemba is very angry now that Vegeta ****** him off
Ss4 Vegeta: Rayku do you think you could help now
Rayku: ummmm ok
Meanwhile Ray is still traveling
Ray:hello
???: hi is that you Rayku?
Ray:no im his son Rayku
???: his son?
Ray: yes from the future whats your name please
???: King kai
Ray: ok King Kai
King Kai: who or what are you looking for?
Ray:im looking for my dad
King Kai:ohhh Rayku hes in HFIL (home for Infinite losers)
Ray: my dads not a loser
King Kai:I know that,he went there with his own will
Ray: ok King Kai thanks
King Kai:hope you come again goodbye
Ray: see ya
Ray left
King Kai: I wonder if theat really is Raykus son
At HFIL
Rayku and Vegeta kept up there fighting but Janemba was too powerful he was barly hurt by them
Ohh my gosh how will Rayku and Vegeta live in this battle?can they stay alive long enough for Raykus son to get there no body knows until chapter 13

AAAWWWWWSSSSSSSSOOOOOOMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah wicked

cool,but which team of writers has the best comic so far do you think?

hhhhhmmmm hard to say i don't know oh and any way here are my basics
10yrs old
Jay is my name ( of course )
buy ( of course )
uuuuuuummmmmm
classmates think im funny
1 half brother
1 sister
have a girlfriend
if you need any more just ask

ok Jay

just i need attacks from you

The longest chapter ever so far chapter 13
(i think)


Chapter 13
Will Ray make it?
Rayku:I cant last much longer Vegeta
Ss4 Vegeta: keep control of your power so you don?t use it all at once
Rayku:I cant, just hurting Janemba uses all my power
Ss4 Vegeta: your pathitic
Rayku:no im just not that strong
Ss4 Vegeta:he its not my fault your weak blame your parents
Rayku:hey don?t say its there fault cause there not here
Ss4 Vegeta:don?t you mean dead
Rayku:whatever
Ray keeps on traveling to find Rayku
Ray:hey theres a big monster like King Kai said
(King Kai:now make sure you watch our for a big monster)
(Ray:ok I will look out for one)
Ray:wow that beast is huge hey I sence Vegeta and My dad
Ss4 Vegeta:Rayku get ready to fight
Rayku:y
Ss4 Vegeta:cause some bodies coming
Rayku:I cant I cant get up
Ss4 Vegeta:whoa this guy is so powerful
???:dad is it you
ss4 Vegeta:Trunks?
???:no its me Ray
ss4 Vegeta:haaa ???..
Rayku:Ray howd you get here?
Ray:Goku helped me get here then King Kai guided me
Rayku:ok at least I can reast knowing your ok
Ray:you rest at least I know your ok
Rayku:hey I need some power do you think you can give me some
Ray:ok
Ray gave Rayku some power
Rayku:alright now haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ss3 Rayku:ok Vegeta lets kill this guy
Vegeta was on the ground from a hit
Ss3 Rayku:uhoh
Ray:don?t worry dad but how did you get super saiyan 3?
Ss3 Rayku:ummmm he made me angry and I used super saiyan 3
Ray:don?t lie to me you know I can hurt and kill you dad
Ss3 Rayku:yeah I know but protect me right now
Ray:ok
Janemba:someone fight me
Ray:ok I will fight him
Rayku:thanks son
Rayku started to rest
Ray and Janemba started to fight
Ray: man he s tough but I will keep this up until my dad wakes up
So they started battling once again
Janemba:this guy is stronger than I thought
Ray:ha it looks like im going to beat you
Janemba:trapper balls
Ray:what the?
Ray got traped by one of the balls so did Rayku
Janemba:now that your trap I will attack your father and kill him final destruction!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rayku:what the I cant move im traped in this ball!! No!!!!!!!!!!!
Vegeta:final flash!!!!!
Janemba:you people love annoying me don?t you errrrrrr!!!!!!!!! Haaa haaa haaa die Vegeta
Vegeta:how dare you uhh
Rayku:Vegeta r u ok?
Vegeta:?
Ray:Vegeta errrrr y you!!!!!!!!!
Ss2 Ray:NOW HOW WILL U BEAT ME!!!!!!!!!!!
Janemba:uhhh no please don?t kill me
Ss2 Ray:after you tried to kill Vegeta and my dad!!!!! Never!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hyoken wave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Janemba was eliminated but I fighter was on earth and he was really strong no body knew
Who he or she was he seemed powerful enough to beat Janemba in one blow
Ray:dad do you sence that power?
Rayku:yeah its really powerful
Ray:im going to check on who ever it is come with me
Rayku:I cant im dead for good now
Ray:well dad see ya then
Earth
???:is there any body in this city or what?
Bulma:who are you?
???:my names Jay and im looking for this powerful power
Bulma:Jay why are you here looking for the power this is capsule corporation?
Jay:because I don?t know where else to look yet
Ray:hey who are you
Bulma:he ssaid his name is Jay
Jay:you must be that powerful power I was looking for
Ray:yeah but I was sencing your power
Jay:then why can I still sence the strong power
Ray:so can I
Jay:that?s wired
Ray:hey Jay do you want to hangout with me or someone who needs you
Jay:yeah after I tell my family that I found the strong power I mean you
Ray:ok come back here after
Jay went back to his family in another city
???:so Jay did you find the power
Jay:yeah I found it
???:ok
Jay:alright bro
???:wait before you leave your girlfriend stoped by
Jay:ok thanks
Jay left
Nancy:he Jason do you think we should really let him go out alone
Jason:yeah its ok with me let him take care of himself
Back at Capsule Corp.
Jay:im back
Ray:ok lets go then
Jay:where?
Ray:follow me
Jay follows Ray to Otherworld
Jay:where r we?OtherWorld?
Ray:yeah
Jay:why
Ray:cause my dad may need you to protect him
Jay:why cant you though
Ray:because im not strong enough if Vegeta wasent there with us then my dad wouldn?t be here right now
Jay:ok but I cant do it all day or all the time cause I have school
Ray:ok
Ray:here he is
Jay:that?s him sleeping but he looks like a kid around my age but older
Ray:he is a kid but a teenager
Jay:then why are you taller and older then him?
Ray:because I came from the future
Jay:ok I understand
Ray:so can you watch him for a while?
Jay:ok fine
Jay watches Rayku for time and time until he gets fed up with watching him then he trys to leave and then
Rayku:hey who are you
Jay:my names Jay and your son wanted me to watch you whats his name any way?
Rayku:its Rayku or you can call him Ray like me
Jay:whats your name?
Rayku: its ?Rayku?
Jay:ok Rayku im leaving now see ya man
Rayku:bye Jay
Jay leaves
???:hello Rayku can you here me
Rayku:who are you?
???:im the old Kai or call me Elder Kai
Rayku:ok Elder Kai
Elder Kai:im going to let you have my life in order to go and make sure your son and any body else is safe ok?
Rayku:really alright
Wow what great luck Rayku gets a new life now that the Elder Kai lets him have his life what great luck for Rayku now how will he use his life will he use it will or bad?lets just make sure he doesn?t get himself killed
Chapter 14
Who is Jay