My Nightmare

This is a story of mine, based of one of my nightmares.This one really is true, and i've had it every day before.


I waked up.I felt that my hair was all weat."Oh my god, what am i thinking about?", i asked myself.I shutted down my eyes trying to get some more sleep.I think i had a dream. A dream of being alone...To have someone...Anyone beside me.I tought I was having wierd visions.I woke up once again by a loud noise.A scream.I shutted my eyes again.I dreamed.I dreamed that my soul was trapped in my nightmare for all eterinety.Where was I there for?Was somebody hunting me?no..It couldn't been.In that case I've should known.There was a green field with flowers.I tought I was dreaming for a while.Was it true?Wow, some wierd illusions I had!I heard that loud, noisy and screamy noise again.It sounded too dark.A girl appeared.She said to me that she had a terrible curse.I didn't belive her at all.First i tought I was gonna die in here.I didn't die.I was warm with love.Every day and night, my love growed stronger.Like the winds gain power to blow someone away.It all began here... right here at the field.Scarying at first but then it was all okay.did i dear to ask the girl if i loved her?Well, I didn't knew it.But I was trapped in my nightmare...I felt free at the same time.I was lucky to have someone beside me...



this was the first chapter of my nightmare.My second chapter won't come for a long good thinking.I hope you liked it, and I hope you want more of it.

Too short, don't double post, no such word as "shutted", put spaces after punctuation, type it up on Word or something first, try to put in more detail and emotion, and I didn't understand the story. Apart from that, good.

Hey, you're getting better! now, i know it isn't my place to say this, But, I see you still aren't paying attention to most of the rules of writing the others posted.
I hope you won't flame me for that! But I do want to read more.
here are a places where you could have altered;
"I waked up; I woke up" (FYI, I by itself is always a captial letter)
"Scarying at first but then it was okay; terrifying at first, then it was fine."
Did you find that helpful?

Meh, this is got to be the shortest thing i've read, even my shotry fic was longer than this.....

I'm sorry for having to bring the rules down on you like this, but I must inform you of this now before you continue to post more chapters.

According to Rule #1 of the FF&RP forum rules, chapters of a fiction should be able to exceed the capacity of the standard computer screen. Your entire post doesn't even fill that criteria.

Secondly, double-posting is against the rules, so I'll have to delete that additional message.

Thirdly, suggestion time. *Pulls a slip of paper from a machine*

waked = woke; weat = wet; shutted = shut; wierd = weird; dreamed = dreamt; eterinety = eternity; belive = believe; growed = grew; tought = thought

Fourthly, description and detail would not go amiss. Instead of saying that a girl appeared, you may want to go into more explanation about her features.

Lastly, 'screamy' and 'scarying' are not words. Nonetheless, the message of the chapter was pretty good. I look forward to seeing some more.


« Last edited by Cipher_Wizard on Jan 8th 2007 »

Sorry.I don't have so good memory(I know it is nothing to blame at) and for the second I CAN'T SPEAK SO GOOD ENGLISH!Understand?good

On 09-Jan-2007 LinkTheKing said:

Sorry.I don't have so good memory(I know it is nothing to blame at) and for the second I CAN'T SPEAK SO GOOD ENGLISH!Understand?good

I understand that, and it's for that reason I recomment typing your work on a word-processing package with a spell-check function. Microsoft Word has that, in addition to dividers that indicate where a full page of text stops and a built-in thesaurus.

Wow, what an intriguing nightmare.

Ok, well I can understand why it would be hard to post details and description about a dream. But it would really improve that quality of the story. My only real suggestion is to take a glance at some of the other fics around here and see how they are formatted. Might give you some ideas. But it is an interesting story, so I wouldn't mind seeing more of it.

Well, I don't have reallu anymore about it.That is what happened.I don't know what else happend.Sorry :(

Ooh! what about mine! am I allowed?

You can if you can write about it in a way that follows the rules of the site, but don't post it in this thread. Post it in your own thread.

This is a pretty good story, I'd love to see more of it.

i looked to post a different thread, but it doesn't let me. (??????)

Meglamus: Please discuss this in the FF RP discussion thread, I might be able to help you. But let's keep posts in this thread about the topic at hand. Linktheking's nightmare.