Romeo and Juliet :: The True Story

This was a story I cooked up in English class after we had to write a short story, given this as a prompt.

"Base it off a Romance novel."

As you can tell, I chose Romeo and Juliet, but I condensed it, changed it, and added some humour. So, without further ado.


Romeo and Juliet: The True Story

The Royal Kingdom was in turmoil. Juliet, the soon-to-be Queen, had been? for lack of a better word? stalking, a young man named Romeo. When asked, or rather demanded to take Juliet's hand in marriage, the pompous prince Romeo gracefully denied, stating that he wouldn't ?marry that bloody pig? even if he were promptly struck by lightning upon denial. Now, the prince wasn't wrong when he called the Queen a pig. Frankly, it was an understatement. She had the figure of a bloated horse and a face to match. Put this with a total of six missing teeth and an attitude that could give Freddy Crooger nightmares, and you've got the young Juliet. But, alas, Juliet absolutely had to get what she wanted.

Soldiers of the Royal Brigade were sent to abduct Romeo and thus force him to bewed Juliet. Romeo, upon hearing word of his misfortune, gathered his things and then left the kingdom, fleeing to a nearby forest. Shrouded by brushes and trees, he was sure he would be able to hide until some other sort of refuge was found. Of course, when the Royal Brigade arrived at Romeo's palace, he was nowhere to be found. After giving the abode a royal trashing, Juliet ordered for a search party to be immediately formed and to bring back young Romeo at any means necessary. Now, Romeo was never a boy scout. In fact, he was somewhat a klutz, and he completely missed the fact that he left clear tracks in the dirt roads he traveled on, broke twigs and shrubs in the forest, and left his red jacket hanging on a tree branch right beside the area he was sleeping. Genius.

The morning after he was found missing, Romeo awoke with a bearded man looking coldly into his green eyes.
?Aye,? said the bearded man, ?the boy be awake. Ready 'em up and put him in the carriage.?
Now, Romeo, who was too afraid to even move, had no idea that ?ready 'em up? meant stuffing an apple into his mouth, tying a rope around his head to secure the fruit, then binding the rest of his body with hard, leather straps. He did struggle, but his efforts were slightly dulled when he was beaned in the head with a somewhat... sharp rock, knocking him unconscious. But, all hope was not lost for our young protagonist, for hope by the name of Amelia is watching the scene from the cover a nearby maple tree.

The young girl spying, Amelia, was deeply in love with Romeo. She had never actually talked to him, but immediately fell in love with him when she set her eyes upon him at one of Romeo's Royal Family B[i][/i]alls. She could also be called the exact opposite of the greasy Juliet. Amelia was a timid, slightly built young lady with silky brown hair and soft, tender blue eyes, which also happened to be Romeo's idea of a ?dream woman?, without the overly large breasts.

She shifted from her spot behind the maple tree, silently pursuing the soldier's camp, always keeping her eyes on the unconscious Romeo.



Nightfall came quickly, the shadows of darkness winding their tendrils through the shrubs and tree branches. This was it, Amelia's chance to rescue her love, Romeo. He had awoken from unconsciousness, although he had fallen asleep due to a mix of anxiety and boredom. Luckily for Amelia, all of the soldiers were fast asleep, as well. With an air of stealth about her, she slowly tip-toed her way toward where Romeo lay. She took the now half-eaten gag from Romeo's mouth, awakening him instantly.
?What in the blue He??
?Shush!? Amelia quieted the surprised Romeo, ?You'll wake the??
?Guards?? a gruffy old voice asked from behind the two, causing Amelia's eyes to widen in fear. ?Idiot girlie. Should've let the lad be. Now I'll have to kill ye, har har.? the scruffy guard grinned, reaching out his arms to grab the girl, but being quickly stopped by a swift punt to the groin. The guard let out a yelp, awakening the rest of the camp.

?Damn! C'mon Romeo, we need to get out of here!? Amelia shouted over the ruckus of the soldiers rushing out of their tents.
?Thank you, Captain Obvious.? Romeo replied, removing the final binding and springing into action, before being nailed in the gut by a soldier, who then received a foot to the face from Amelia. Romeo dodged another punch and swept the soldiers feet out from under him, causing other guards that were heading his way to trip over their comrade, allowing the two to escape. Amelia quickly grabbed Romeo's hand, tugging him into her direction. Together, they escaped into the moonlight, quickly disappearing into the dark horizon.



Back in Amelia's home kingdom, newly-crowned King Romeo awaited to wed his dream girl, Amelia. Wedding bells rang, and down the isle came the bride, traditional white veil covering her face. At the alter, after the ?I do's? were said, the white veil was lifted off, revealing none other than Juliet, who uttered only one word.

?Gotcha!?


« Last edited by dark_wolf_33 on Mar 5th 2008 »

Just finished reading this, I found it quite good, and entertaining.
The fact that Juliet was his "dream girl" in disguise made me laugh a bit, all that for nought in the end.
Were you graded or marked for this? If yeah what did you get?

It was a prompt for some statewide exam thing. I won't get the grades back until summer break.

This may make me seem like a miserable sod, but I didn't actually laugh that much at this. I only chuckled at the Captain Obvious line, and that was it. Aside from that, it was well written, although a little short. I personally didn't like it, but I imagine that for someone with a decent sense of humour, I guess you could say, would find this to be a great story.

Yeah, it was a little outside of my writing zone, and I wanted there to be some comedic irony mixed in there.

i just picture a fat girl with a pig head the whole storey.
is there another tstorey that goes something like this, i think iheard the same concept of this storey before, somewhere.