Better, but you still need to touch up on your compo/depth/flow things. And the text could be placed better, but... what's new, right? Not like that's something you never hear. Maybe place it on top of the right (NOT her right, her left) shoulder. And it's monotone. And, what's the lighting? The top left, or that big white splotch near the middle?
And so he said, "and there will be delicious cake", and with those words, I said, "I see what you did there..."