Well that was pretty good. I liked the non-fight scenes the best, I tihnk, as some of the fight scenes were a little hard to follow. You seem to want to keep track of every body part at once, rather than generalising. Which is fine, don't misunderstand me, I just found it a little too detailed at times.
Anayway, aside from that minor point it was a decent story. Nicely done.
There, I read it. Now shut up.
Seeing as I now have three short stories posted, I figure I may as well put all of them in my bio, so go there for links to "The Lab", "Daemon" and "Afterlife". Additionally, you should read my fic,
The Crystals of Narlkant