Legend_Trainer Posted: 10:43 Oct27 2010
Post ID: 2920327
Legend_Trainer
Posts: 1,764
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Prologue
On a high hill hidden in dense forests and cliffs, an old temple remained silent. Its residents, monks and sages, nowhere to be seen. The door leading to the altar room was slightly open. The heinous stains of blood started there.
Ranmaru walked through a hall stained of blood. Bodies lay bloodied on the floor. As he stopped, he retracted his arm blades and looked at what shall make him ruler of the world in the near future. The Mirror of Genma. It has been 6 years since the time-travelling western barbarian almost killed him.
"Luckily they were foolish enough not to properly dispose of me. Then again, knowing myself, I wouldn't die even if they did so!" said Ranmaru as he laughed.
His mutation granted by Guildenstren proved to be much more powerful. Jacques, in a fit of rage, had beaten him with no mercy 6 years ago, when he was wounded after the fight with Samanosuke.
"The powers of the Oni are undeniably supreme.... But they are nothing compared to me!" exclaimed Ranmaru in arrogance.
"Because of them, I was cursed to heal myself in this wretched, poisoned world. When it becomes mine, I shall see to it that the rivers flow the blood of humans!" thought Ranmaru.
He ripped off the charms and seals covering the mirror. He laid the mirror onto the altar, looking intently at its surface that reflects nothing but instead shows only darkness. He then started a ritual; to open the gate into the realm of the Genma. Blood of humans splattered thirty times onto the mirror.
Then he took a cut on his arm. Such act is necessary. The blood of the summoner must be dropped onto the mirror. An ominous and blood stenched wind blew past Ranmaru. He feared not the Genma. He believed he was superior, in any way, to them. His plan was... to crown himself THE THIRD GENMA LORD!
With Nobunaga sealed away and Fortinbras stuck in his resurrection cycle once more, he believes it is now his time to be in power. The sky atop the temple became dark. Thunder roared furiously. An eye opened in the middle of the mirror, and from its center the altar cracked. The crack opened with much noise, making a perfect circle in only a few moments. Thousands of eyes peered through from behind the cloak of darkness. Growling, hissing, and screeching sounds came in from all corner.
Seeing all this, Ranmaru laughed hysterically. He had succeeded in summoning the genma. Now was time to take in their limitless power and become the Genma Lord.
"Yes... Yes!!!!!! ALL THIS POWER, MINE ALONE!!!!!!!" yelled Ranmaru. "NOW, GIVE ME EVERYTHING YOU HAVE, AND MAKE THIS WORLD MINE!!!"
He raised his arms into the air as swirling dark winds blew out of the gateway. But nothing happened. Nothing.
"But... but... the..the.. throne is empty...." he stuttered.
"WHY WILL YOU NOT BOW TO ME?!?!"
"Because the throne is not empty. It never was." said a voice that was familiar to Ranmaru. Too familiar.
Rising from the dark gate, as if walking on air, was his master. Nobunaga Oda. The Genma Lord. In scarlet blood-soaked armor. Ranmaru stepped backwards. His eyes were white. His pale face shows his fear. This was not how it was meant to be. Nobunaga was supposed to still be sealed in Samanosuke's gauntlet, just as the Moonreader had told him. He was not supposed to be here!
"But.. but how..? You're... you're supposed to be in his gauntlet! IN THE PAST! NOT HERE! NOT HERE!"
A smirk grew on Nobunaga's face.
"I find it surprising that you still live after all these years." said Nobunaga.
"If the humans were too useless to kill you, then be it. I'll do it myself." he continued.
He raised his left hand, pointed it at Ranmaru. In an instant a wide sword-like tentacle swooped out of the gateway and pierced Ranmaru's chest. Ranmaru had no chance. Fear had overwhelmed him. He took his last pieces of courage and cursed Nobunaga before his eyes closed.
"This was caused by your own betrayal." said Nobunaga, lowering his hand, causing the tentacle to throw Ranmaru's body to the side. It slithered back into the gateway as Nobunaga walked to the temple doors. A new world for him to conquer. With his new powers. How exciting. And this time, there are no Oni to stop him.
"Come forth my warriors, spread your trail of blood and ravage upon this new world." said Nobunaga, and immediately, in response to his call, swarms of Genma demons appear from the gateway, lumbering slowly towards where he stood.
Thousands of miles away, a young priestess senses that something has awokened in the earth. Something not Genma, not Oni, and certainly not human.
On a high hill hidden in dense forests and cliffs, an old temple remained silent. Its residents, monks and sages, nowhere to be seen. The door leading to the altar room was slightly open. The heinous stains of blood started there.
Ranmaru walked through a hall stained of blood. Bodies lay bloodied on the floor. As he stopped, he retracted his arm blades and looked at what shall make him ruler of the world in the near future. The Mirror of Genma. It has been 6 years since the time-travelling western barbarian almost killed him.
"Luckily they were foolish enough not to properly dispose of me. Then again, knowing myself, I wouldn't die even if they did so!" said Ranmaru as he laughed.
His mutation granted by Guildenstren proved to be much more powerful. Jacques, in a fit of rage, had beaten him with no mercy 6 years ago, when he was wounded after the fight with Samanosuke.
"The powers of the Oni are undeniably supreme.... But they are nothing compared to me!" exclaimed Ranmaru in arrogance.
"Because of them, I was cursed to heal myself in this wretched, poisoned world. When it becomes mine, I shall see to it that the rivers flow the blood of humans!" thought Ranmaru.
He ripped off the charms and seals covering the mirror. He laid the mirror onto the altar, looking intently at its surface that reflects nothing but instead shows only darkness. He then started a ritual; to open the gate into the realm of the Genma. Blood of humans splattered thirty times onto the mirror.
Then he took a cut on his arm. Such act is necessary. The blood of the summoner must be dropped onto the mirror. An ominous and blood stenched wind blew past Ranmaru. He feared not the Genma. He believed he was superior, in any way, to them. His plan was... to crown himself THE THIRD GENMA LORD!
With Nobunaga sealed away and Fortinbras stuck in his resurrection cycle once more, he believes it is now his time to be in power. The sky atop the temple became dark. Thunder roared furiously. An eye opened in the middle of the mirror, and from its center the altar cracked. The crack opened with much noise, making a perfect circle in only a few moments. Thousands of eyes peered through from behind the cloak of darkness. Growling, hissing, and screeching sounds came in from all corner.
Seeing all this, Ranmaru laughed hysterically. He had succeeded in summoning the genma. Now was time to take in their limitless power and become the Genma Lord.
"Yes... Yes!!!!!! ALL THIS POWER, MINE ALONE!!!!!!!" yelled Ranmaru. "NOW, GIVE ME EVERYTHING YOU HAVE, AND MAKE THIS WORLD MINE!!!"
He raised his arms into the air as swirling dark winds blew out of the gateway. But nothing happened. Nothing.
"But... but... the..the.. throne is empty...." he stuttered.
"WHY WILL YOU NOT BOW TO ME?!?!"
"Because the throne is not empty. It never was." said a voice that was familiar to Ranmaru. Too familiar.
Rising from the dark gate, as if walking on air, was his master. Nobunaga Oda. The Genma Lord. In scarlet blood-soaked armor. Ranmaru stepped backwards. His eyes were white. His pale face shows his fear. This was not how it was meant to be. Nobunaga was supposed to still be sealed in Samanosuke's gauntlet, just as the Moonreader had told him. He was not supposed to be here!
"But.. but how..? You're... you're supposed to be in his gauntlet! IN THE PAST! NOT HERE! NOT HERE!"
A smirk grew on Nobunaga's face.
"I find it surprising that you still live after all these years." said Nobunaga.
"If the humans were too useless to kill you, then be it. I'll do it myself." he continued.
He raised his left hand, pointed it at Ranmaru. In an instant a wide sword-like tentacle swooped out of the gateway and pierced Ranmaru's chest. Ranmaru had no chance. Fear had overwhelmed him. He took his last pieces of courage and cursed Nobunaga before his eyes closed.
"This was caused by your own betrayal." said Nobunaga, lowering his hand, causing the tentacle to throw Ranmaru's body to the side. It slithered back into the gateway as Nobunaga walked to the temple doors. A new world for him to conquer. With his new powers. How exciting. And this time, there are no Oni to stop him.
"Come forth my warriors, spread your trail of blood and ravage upon this new world." said Nobunaga, and immediately, in response to his call, swarms of Genma demons appear from the gateway, lumbering slowly towards where he stood.
Thousands of miles away, a young priestess senses that something has awokened in the earth. Something not Genma, not Oni, and certainly not human.
GoldenPili Posted: 05:22 Oct28 2010
Post ID: 2920619
GoldenPili
Posts: 1,429
Post Likes: 0
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I'm not going to say anything about the story, because I haven't carefully read it, but just by skimming over your story I can give you a few tips:
I don't mean to be a grammar Nazi, but there is really no need for the extra caps outside of speech text.
And lay low with the !!!!!!'s and the !?!?!'s. With just one we know what you are talking about, no need to have your character blow a blood-vessel in every other sentence.
When the coroner cuts me open, I want the whole room to smell like potato wedges. - Gabriel Iglasias
Cheer's to Craizen for the awesome sig and avy.
- His plan was... to crown himself THE THIRD GENMA LORD!
- "Yes... Yes!!!!!! ALL THIS POWER, MINE ALONE!!!!!!!" yelled Ranmaru. "NOW, GIVE ME EVERYTHING YOU HAVE, AND MAKE THIS WORLD MINE!!!"
- "WHY WILL YOU NOT BOW TO ME?!?!"
I don't mean to be a grammar Nazi, but there is really no need for the extra caps outside of speech text.
And lay low with the !!!!!!'s and the !?!?!'s. With just one we know what you are talking about, no need to have your character blow a blood-vessel in every other sentence.
When the coroner cuts me open, I want the whole room to smell like potato wedges. - Gabriel Iglasias
Cheer's to Craizen for the awesome sig and avy.
aakicee Posted: 01:31 Apr21 2015
Post ID: 3376841
aakicee
Posts: 1
Post Likes: 0
Post Likes: 0
WHO WROTE THIS ..THIS IS GOOD
OMAIR
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