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I'm not very good at critiquing, so I'll leave that up to Craiz or Lelouch. I really like it though, and the coloured one is much better in my opinion.
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I like, btu I say you covered her up too much in the fg, making her float along with the smudge/clip mask effects. Move the composition over some to the left, crop int down in size and lighting
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