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Is There Are Santa?

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Dark Genie Posted: 05:05 Apr06 2006 Post ID: 775538
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I remember being emailed this some time ago, always a good laugh, if you can understand the numbers. I guess it’s not a good idea for anyone who believes in Santa to read on, it might be less than fortunate.

Well here goes

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Is There A Santa Claus?

Part One

No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

Part Two

There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

Part Three

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Sants’s sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

Part Four

The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

Part Five

353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as space crafts reentering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.


In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now!


Thats it lol, I hope ya's all enjoy!
Perhaps the rare and simple pleasure of being seen for what one is, compensates for the misery of being it.
nintendo_dude Posted: 09:51 Apr06 2006 Post ID: 775687
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What's the point of this? I would say 90%+ of the people on SuperCheats don't believe in Snata at least.


I'm finished here...

Special thanks to Yossy666 for the avatar and signature images.
Mixas Posted: 10:08 Apr06 2006 Post ID: 775707
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I don't believe too!And yeah what's the point of this?
annefranman52 Posted: 10:40 Apr06 2006 Post ID: 775735
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It's basically to prove it, i find the statistics interesting anyway... lol.
Matty S Posted: 14:11 Apr06 2006 Post ID: 775854
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I dont believe santa is real whats the point its false facts.

People dont take me for any n00b. I was a member once over a year ago so dont get wise ?_?
jamarie Posted: 14:27 Apr06 2006 Post ID: 775866
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yay! The spontanious combustion of flying reindeers! w00t! That was obviously a watse of my time, but fun to read anyway =D


[right]~ J A M A R I E // C R Y S T A L U T O P I A ~[/color][/right]


Matty S Posted: 14:29 Apr06 2006 Post ID: 775868
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Yes Jamarie is on crack or cocaine no difference for you is it jam? lol.

People dont take me for any n00b. I was a member once over a year ago so dont get wise ?_?
annefranman52 Posted: 14:49 Apr06 2006 Post ID: 775889
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A complete waste of time, but good none the less...
Tornado212 Posted: 16:04 Apr06 2006 Post ID: 776018
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Matty? thats REALLY inappropiate behavior. This is a family friendly forum and you shoudnt be talking like that, even if you are kidding.
annabel Posted: 17:20 Apr06 2006 Post ID: 776097
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All the posters know Santa isn't real, But what about the poor little 8 year olds who stumble on this site of curiousity and think "Oohh, A santa story!". It not often happen, But it could. But nice facts anyway. Smile
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MasterMilotic Posted: 17:21 Apr06 2006 Post ID: 776101
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I believe in Santa lol. I think he is m-a-g-i-c-!
Anyways, there is no way someone can do all that stuff in less than one second, but I still believe in him lol.
superman4u Posted: 17:55 Apr06 2006 Post ID: 776138
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. =O. I don't believe in him that way. I don't believe that he flies around giving out presents. Heck, I don't believe in him at all, except this one way which might be a bit contraversal, so I rather not say.


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MasterMilotic Posted: 18:44 Apr06 2006 Post ID: 776198
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What? That he travels light speed, reindeer are supermen but in reindeer style, santa's sleigh is bigger than 4 blue whales, he can make his sleigh along with reindeer invisible/go through walls and objects, and has super-cookie eating abilities?
Gameboy_rulz Posted: 19:23 Apr06 2006 Post ID: 776219
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Well, I believe in santa, if if theres hard facts against him, however, like MM I believe he is this so called m-a-g-i-c.Therios do have some bamboozlement and that can be ackward, but who can prove there isnt santa, has the northpole been thuroly searched inside and out, no. I also have a theory that santa has some sort of cloning devices or hundreds of brothers to help. The data is rough, but i still believe in him.
Pwnt you have...
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chefnorton Posted: 20:41 Apr06 2006 Post ID: 776308
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I believe! answer to question is faith in something that can't be proved.
screencheat2 Posted: 20:50 Apr06 2006 Post ID: 776318
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I don't really care about believing or not, but I gotta say that that those were some entertaining facts to read.
FFN account with some stories. ._. People say they're pretty good, so check them out! Please? *puppy eyes*
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Trunks245 Posted: 23:10 Apr06 2006 Post ID: 776418
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On 06-Apr-2006 screencheat2 said:I don't really care about believing or not, but I gotta say that that those were some entertaining facts to read.
Who cant agree lol.
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annabel Posted: 02:13 Apr07 2006 Post ID: 776465
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We were all told by our parents at nearly the age of ten, No one our age could belive in him.
Working from beyond the grave? No. I am afraid not, I am just randomly annoying you by changing my signature now and then. Update: TEH PWNAGE.

Redesigned copy of me coming October 15th! Count the days people.
Double Agent Posted: 02:26 Apr07 2006 Post ID: 776467
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I guess I'm the only one who believed in Santa. Now I have nothing to believe in :(
~ Double Agent
r and c mega Posted: 06:08 Apr07 2006 Post ID: 776584
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I've never believed in Santa, my dad told me at the age of 6 they found his hat floating down a river at the end of a war...hasn't done me any harm...QUARK!
Of course he was real, everyone knows it was some dude called Saint Nick who went round giving presents to the poor kid.
And just so you know the santa you see in adverts and commercialised stuff was invented by the Colca Cola Company. Red and white are theur colours ^^
And reindeers can fly. I've seen 'em.
sigs are for losers


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