Fiction: The shadow clan

i know, i was just kidding

Alright once again a new chapter

Chapter 13. Lovebirds only come In two's
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" I never got to say how much I love him..." said Fran
" Hey he knew Fran we all knew " replied Geoff
" I totally agree you were a great couple forget our jokes about The kids and everything " said Walter. "
" Let's go help Aura guys " said Bodyguard#7
" We can't man It's his fight..." replied Bodyguard#8
" Yeh I suppose your right little bro..." said Bodyguard#7
with this the room went awfully silent and everyone was just dying to go and help Aura...even Fran wanted to, because It would take her mind of Greg and because he was a great guy and he should be helped. Eventually Geoff couldn't stand It anymore.
" That's It I'm going In there!! " said Geoff
" don't go In there man " replied Walter
then Fran came In and said something really unexpected..
" Look let's go help him.."
And because of her most recent devestating loss everyone felt commpelled to go and help her whatever choice she made.
" Alright let's go " said a solger who seemed very dedicated to his job. Then everyone decided that regardless of what Aura said there overwhelming emotion to help him took the spotlight. Even though they always had despised Aura for always treating them harshly and never fighting himself...his recent actions were so heroic he had become a great leader and after this whole cave plan he had proved himself as a tactical genius. Even though the plan was very basic It worked a charm In this kind of situation and now to repay him for his changed attitude he was fighting for his life while they sat on leather couches In the room next door. Having said this they begin to open the door when they realise It's locked...
" Damn!!! " Said Fran
" What? " said Walter
" We can't let another born hero die on the same day!! " replied Fran
#
" I'm gonna kill you ten times over!!!! " said Aura
" Well wouldn't that be fun?............ you'll struggle to do It once!! "
and with that he fired a powerful death beam that spiraled towards Aura's chest like It was meant to be. Then Aura dodges It with a huge acrobatic leap that could have been as high as a Kangaroo.
" You will never beat me because my weapon will always remain sharper............... "
As he said that he launches yet another assault on the powerful Drake.
" Celestial Strike " he says this as he fires It and he Is even shocked with It's power. But to no avail............ Drake just brushes It off with a whack of his hand...............
" Like I said you'll struggle to kill me once "
" Bring It on!!!!............ Drarten blast!!! "
Drake raises his hand In a attempt to brush It off like the 'Celestial Strike' but this time he cannot block It............... and he Is forced to the ground by this forceful, anger filled blast...............
" Time for number One............ " said Aura as he raises his blade.
#
while the others attempt to open the door to the control room Fran starts shedding light on her relationship with Greg...............
" He was very shy at first......... he never admitted he liked me until one day he just came out and said It............ as a matter of fact It was a week ago when we were about to fight Skully............... he said " If we die I just want you to know I love you............ "
After that I told him I loved him to and my face just lit up and just then we kissed and then Skully came............... "
" What a mood killer " said a solger.
Fran laughed " Yeh "
As soon as this was said the door flung open revealing an.........

Chapter 14. Epic Battle
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{COMING SOON}

please rate....

first of all, could you explain what you meant in mine about my loose ends?... good format, good ideas, more work needed on detail. for example, you might, and this is just a suggestion, do something like this

" That's It I'm going In there!! " said Geoff
" don't go In there man " replied Walter

" That's It I'm going In there!! " said Geoff, as he moved toward the entrance.
" don't go In there man " replied Walter, holding back Geoff.

ok next one i'll go for detail

and by loose ends I mean't anything you left unexplained you could explain all in one chapter

...ok, but you see i know what loose ends are, but i mean could you please give me an example?

what you said...the ambulance pulls up and the hospital and well nothing happened right? so put a family member or an enemy or a new character into the picture by tying up it's loose ends.

i dont want to spam your thread, ill explain that in my room, check it if you wish

ok i will

was there anything else or just about the hospital part?

Don't worry.....
What do you think?

Chapter 14. Epic Battle
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? You will all pay for Greg?s death ? said Fran with a calm look on her face disguising the fact that her extreme anger was making her the most powerful person in this room.
? Guys what are you doing here this is my battle and it?s personal please just back off I?ve got it under control ? said Aura frantically, raising his blade and shouting
? Guardian?s power ? his ultimate manouver shot out from his blade and landed straight on Drake causing Drake to bleed extremely heavely
? {choking} Damn you?I?ll kill you!! ? he said raising his blade with all his might
? No more mister nice guy punk, Rangar will be mine!! ? said Drake who got up and lunged at Aura
? And after I capture Rangar the whole of Silbar will be mine ? {Evil chuckle}
? You?re mine! ? said Walter and Geoff simultaneously charging with all their might raising their weapons and striking Drake with extreme might.
? Ah!!! ? said Drake screaming as he fell to the ground.
? You can never destroy me, as I hold the might of the Shadow clan In my hands??? ? as he said this Drake noticed Fran readying a powerful flame blast In her hands????
? What Shadow clan? all I see Is you ? said Fran with her eyes burning like a huge fire
? The ones behind you ? said Drake laughing and joking hard. As our heroes turned around they saw mountains of Shadows.
? That?s every last one of them ? said Drake secretly charging his ultimate attack the ?shadow disintegrator?
? Nothing to worry about?????? Eternal Flame!!!! ? screamed Fran as she burned the hell out of all the remaining shadow clan members.
? About time you wasted It said Drake ? readying his arm for his ultimate attack
? You might not want to do that ? said Geoff pointing to Walter who had a bomb detonator In his hand
? Were good for something around here ? said Walter laughing with Geoff as they saw the look on Drake?s face. Strangely Drake?s despair turned Into a smile
? Why are you smiling you stupid old man? ? said Aura looking puzzled
? We?ve won ? said Fran with a fading smile on her face as Drake began to raise his arm????
? You?ll never win????? Shadow Disintegrator!!!!!! ? Screamed Drake with a huge, sickening smile burning across his face.
? Guardian?s shield ? screamed Aura as he frantically fired this skill from his blade just doing It In time to save Walter and Geoff.
? Thanks ? said Geoff
? Yeh Aura man you rock!! ? replied Walter crunching his hand so hard he almost detonated the bomb?????
? Watch that thing Walter ? said Bodyguard#2
? Woops, sorry guys!! ? said Walter trembling at the fact that he held all their lives In his hand.
? It?s ok you?ve given me a good enough distraction ? said Drake as he chuckled
? Goodbye ? continued Drake as he blasted off In his one-man spaceship.
? Everyone!!???concentrate all your energy, give It to me ? said Aura as he focused his mind. Everyone gave Aura his or her energy, and he raised his arm at the spaceship, taking aim?????
? Super ultimate Rangarian death blast!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?
as Aura said this the world spun wildly and strangely the ship just blew up.
*
All our heroes made It back to Rangar exept for Greg of course.
? Sir I uh found this startling video footage on our cameras when you left to go to the cave???? ? Said the head of security
? Let?s take a look and see??????? ? Said Aura as all our heroes gathered around.

Chapter 15. There Is no end to Silbar?s adventures and trouble
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{Coming soon}

best chapter yet, but as usual there is still room for improvement. but nice job

thanks man the next chapter has some new ace characters and is really a prologue foe my next story coming soon

this is the title
The quest for Silbar: A horde of skulls

p.s. the quest for sibar thing is like your chronicals of chaos and combat....

w00t! ive set an example leading for you to make a series... w00t for me! lol just kidding, but thats good to hear

yeh next one no shadow clan

yeah, i got it. i was just saying it was cool that someone took from my example and made their own series. and cez, i knoqw you made a series first, im just saying off my example cuz he mentioned chronicles, so dont think im not giving you credit

by the way did you like how the ultimate move was to kill Drake or have you got a suggestion for next time

well, it is good, but you could use better description words...not to be a jerk but this is how i would have worded that part. please dont take offense because its just a suggestion.

? Everyone!!???i need you to concentrate all your energy! Give It to me now! ? shouted Aura as he tried to focus his mind.
Everyone raised their hands and offered Aura as much of their energy as they could afford to lose.
Feeling that he had as much power as he was going to get, he raised his arm at the spaceship, taking aim?????
? Super ultimate Rangarian death blast!!!!!!!!!!!!! ?as Aura said this the world began to spin wildly. Then, suddenly, the whole ship exploded without explanation.
*

do you like that idea?

ok cool no more battle scenes though for this story

ok... you mean shadow clan or the new one?