Trunks245 Posted: 23:57 May04 2005
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Its probably just temporary.Earlier i couldnt see mine but i waited and it appeared when i logged on again.
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Chaoticjaf123 Posted: 00:00 May05 2005
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who cares? this one is a million times better anyway
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Trunks245 Posted: 18:29 May05 2005
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Chapter 3 The Return of Cooler and Frieza
Goku:I cant believe it! I though they were dead.
Gohan:well they werent thats for sure
Majuub:Hey i got here as soon as i saw wahts happening.
Gohan:yeah its pretty bad.
Goku:Ok me and Vegeta will go find Cooler and Freiza.You, Majuub,Goten,Trunks,Pan,andCytro will wait here in case of an attack.
All:Got it!
Cytro:(Yet another waste of time...but if ican help them i can maybe earn their trust.)
Vegeta:If you insist Kakarot. Ill come.
Goku:Then its settled. Comeon Vegeta were gonna need Capsule Corp. space suits.
On the other side of the galaxy...
Cooler:Cant these men go any faster.We need to make the attack soon before the portal closes.
Freiza:Keep your shirt on brother... we will strike soon.
Men:Were ready to go in Freiza.
Freiza:Excellent. Proceed.
Cooler:wait theres something over there but i can see it
Goku:Ka-Me
Freiza:Let me see.
Goku:Ha-Me
Frieza@Cooler:Its Goku!
Goku:HA!!!!!
Freiza and Cooler dodge the blast swiftly.
Vegeta:Nice to see you again.
Cooler:Vegeta!?!?
Vegeta:You act suprised... why?
Freiza:My sources said you pulled a Kamikaze over 20 years ago!
Goku:Remember the Dragonballs?
Cooler:No matter. We will still destroy you. Men Attack Earth!
Men:Sir!
Back on Earth
Majuub:Somethings coming!
Cytro:im ready to fight!
Gohan:Lets go!
Men:Ha we over power you 6 to 1000!
Pan:We'll see.
Gohan@Pan@Goten:KaMeHaMeHAAAAA!!!!!
Trunks:Burning Blast!
Cytro:Super Energy Ray!
All three of the blasts combined take out more than 500 soldiers
Gohan:What now.
Men:On second thought why dont we leave you alone.(all run away)
On the other side of the galaxy.
Goku:Ill take Cooler. You take Frieza
Vegeta:Deal
Frieza:Grr Destructo Disk!
Cooler:Death Beam!
On Earth
Gohan:Were with you all the way!
Trunks:If you need help. We will give it.
Cytro:Uhh.. Kick his butt.
Pan:Go Grampa!
The battle between Cooler, Freiza, Vegeta, and Goku has begun. Things seem safe on Earth for now as Goku and Vegetas family cheers for victory.
Next Episode:The Attack on Earth
Goku:I cant believe it! I though they were dead.
Gohan:well they werent thats for sure
Majuub:Hey i got here as soon as i saw wahts happening.
Gohan:yeah its pretty bad.
Goku:Ok me and Vegeta will go find Cooler and Freiza.You, Majuub,Goten,Trunks,Pan,andCytro will wait here in case of an attack.
All:Got it!
Cytro:(Yet another waste of time...but if ican help them i can maybe earn their trust.)
Vegeta:If you insist Kakarot. Ill come.
Goku:Then its settled. Comeon Vegeta were gonna need Capsule Corp. space suits.
On the other side of the galaxy...
Cooler:Cant these men go any faster.We need to make the attack soon before the portal closes.
Freiza:Keep your shirt on brother... we will strike soon.
Men:Were ready to go in Freiza.
Freiza:Excellent. Proceed.
Cooler:wait theres something over there but i can see it
Goku:Ka-Me
Freiza:Let me see.
Goku:Ha-Me
Frieza@Cooler:Its Goku!
Goku:HA!!!!!
Freiza and Cooler dodge the blast swiftly.
Vegeta:Nice to see you again.
Cooler:Vegeta!?!?
Vegeta:You act suprised... why?
Freiza:My sources said you pulled a Kamikaze over 20 years ago!
Goku:Remember the Dragonballs?
Cooler:No matter. We will still destroy you. Men Attack Earth!
Men:Sir!
Back on Earth
Majuub:Somethings coming!
Cytro:im ready to fight!
Gohan:Lets go!
Men:Ha we over power you 6 to 1000!
Pan:We'll see.
Gohan@Pan@Goten:KaMeHaMeHAAAAA!!!!!
Trunks:Burning Blast!
Cytro:Super Energy Ray!
All three of the blasts combined take out more than 500 soldiers
Gohan:What now.
Men:On second thought why dont we leave you alone.(all run away)
On the other side of the galaxy.
Goku:Ill take Cooler. You take Frieza
Vegeta:Deal
Frieza:Grr Destructo Disk!
Cooler:Death Beam!
On Earth
Gohan:Were with you all the way!
Trunks:If you need help. We will give it.
Cytro:Uhh.. Kick his butt.
Pan:Go Grampa!
The battle between Cooler, Freiza, Vegeta, and Goku has begun. Things seem safe on Earth for now as Goku and Vegetas family cheers for victory.
Next Episode:The Attack on Earth
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Hyperwire_2.0 Posted: 19:20 May05 2005
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Me likey.
Chaoticjaf123 Posted: 23:07 May05 2005
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it's better, but still needs more description.
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Trunks245 Posted: 23:15 May05 2005
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Ya i was a little rushed but episode 4 will be better.
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Chaoticjaf123 Posted: 23:16 May05 2005
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glad to hear it
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Trunks245 Posted: 23:40 May05 2005
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Chapter 4 The Attack On Earth
On Earth
Soldier:Frieza im in place. Should i detonate?
Cooler:Freizas not here at the moment but im sure that little bomb will keep the others busy long enough.
Soldier:Ok sir.
The bomb detonates,blowing open an active volcano near West City.
Gohan:Did you see that!
Majuub:A volcano just exploded!
Cytro:And the lavas heading for West City! (Im starting to like their plan)
Goten:Lets Go and fast!
Pan:Ok but we gotta hurry if we want to help the citizens!
They all fly off with speed toward the volcano.
Soldier:They fell for it! Now you can strike them!
Freiza:Ok good work soldeir. When this is all over you get a promotion.
Soldier:Hooray!
Back with the fight
Goku:I dont how you got out of HFIL but im sending you back (Transforms to SS4)
Vegeta:Like i would let you have all the fun (Transforms to SS4)
Goku:Ok im heading to Cooler!
Vegeta:Fine ill take out this joke Freiza.
Goku:Ka-Me-Ha-Me-Haaaaa!!!
Cooler:Death Ray!
As Cooler and Goku face off with their blasts Vegeta starts attack Freiza relentlessly.
Vegeta:Final Shine!
Freiza:Destucto Disk!
Vegeta shoots off his Final Shine but the Destructo Disk swerves back and hits Vegeta in the arm.
Freiza:Hyper Death... Now Vegeta ill give you a choice. You can move and i hit the volcano taking out your friends and half the planet in an explosive blast. Or you can stay and die. And by the look of your arm i dont think you are in the position to block it.
Vegeta:Grr.. (I cant beleive it! How can this half wit actully take control of this battle!!!) I must do what is right for my son and the Earth... SHOOT FREIZA!! IT WILL BE THE LAST THING YOU DO!
Freiza:Very well.. prepare to perish Vegeta. You have been a thorn in my side for long enough! Hyper Death Ray!!!
Goku sees the blast and races to save Vegeta.
Vegeta:Stop Kakarot! I chose this fate over the destruction of the Earth. But grant this on wish... DESTROY BOTH OF THEM!
As Goku watches in horror, Vegeta takes the blast head on.
Vegeta:Argghhhh...
Goku:VEGETA!!!
Vegeta:Goodbye.. Kakarot.
Goku:You gave your life to defend Earth. I wont let you down! 10x Ka-Me-Ha-Me-Ha!!!!!!
Freiza@Cooler:Argghhh.
Cooler:Wow that was clos- Argghhh
Freiza:Cooler what happ-Uhnnn
Goku swiftly takes out Freiza and Cooler and keeps pummeling them when they retaliate.
Goku:How dare you attack my friends and kill Vegeta! Now you will die!!
Will Goku enraged over Vegetas death he seems to have control of the battle.But do Freiza and Cooler have one last trick up their slieve and can the Z team stop the volcano eruption
Next Episode: The Fusion of Cooler and Freiza.
On Earth
Soldier:Frieza im in place. Should i detonate?
Cooler:Freizas not here at the moment but im sure that little bomb will keep the others busy long enough.
Soldier:Ok sir.
The bomb detonates,blowing open an active volcano near West City.
Gohan:Did you see that!
Majuub:A volcano just exploded!
Cytro:And the lavas heading for West City! (Im starting to like their plan)
Goten:Lets Go and fast!
Pan:Ok but we gotta hurry if we want to help the citizens!
They all fly off with speed toward the volcano.
Soldier:They fell for it! Now you can strike them!
Freiza:Ok good work soldeir. When this is all over you get a promotion.
Soldier:Hooray!
Back with the fight
Goku:I dont how you got out of HFIL but im sending you back (Transforms to SS4)
Vegeta:Like i would let you have all the fun (Transforms to SS4)
Goku:Ok im heading to Cooler!
Vegeta:Fine ill take out this joke Freiza.
Goku:Ka-Me-Ha-Me-Haaaaa!!!
Cooler:Death Ray!
As Cooler and Goku face off with their blasts Vegeta starts attack Freiza relentlessly.
Vegeta:Final Shine!
Freiza:Destucto Disk!
Vegeta shoots off his Final Shine but the Destructo Disk swerves back and hits Vegeta in the arm.
Freiza:Hyper Death... Now Vegeta ill give you a choice. You can move and i hit the volcano taking out your friends and half the planet in an explosive blast. Or you can stay and die. And by the look of your arm i dont think you are in the position to block it.
Vegeta:Grr.. (I cant beleive it! How can this half wit actully take control of this battle!!!) I must do what is right for my son and the Earth... SHOOT FREIZA!! IT WILL BE THE LAST THING YOU DO!
Freiza:Very well.. prepare to perish Vegeta. You have been a thorn in my side for long enough! Hyper Death Ray!!!
Goku sees the blast and races to save Vegeta.
Vegeta:Stop Kakarot! I chose this fate over the destruction of the Earth. But grant this on wish... DESTROY BOTH OF THEM!
As Goku watches in horror, Vegeta takes the blast head on.
Vegeta:Argghhhh...
Goku:VEGETA!!!
Vegeta:Goodbye.. Kakarot.
Goku:You gave your life to defend Earth. I wont let you down! 10x Ka-Me-Ha-Me-Ha!!!!!!
Freiza@Cooler:Argghhh.
Cooler:Wow that was clos- Argghhh
Freiza:Cooler what happ-Uhnnn
Goku swiftly takes out Freiza and Cooler and keeps pummeling them when they retaliate.
Goku:How dare you attack my friends and kill Vegeta! Now you will die!!
Will Goku enraged over Vegetas death he seems to have control of the battle.But do Freiza and Cooler have one last trick up their slieve and can the Z team stop the volcano eruption
Next Episode: The Fusion of Cooler and Freiza.
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Trunks245 Posted: 23:41 May05 2005
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There i tried to add some detail to this one
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Chaoticjaf123 Posted: 23:45 May05 2005
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good job, but ir=t could still use more. still, impressive improvement
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Trunks245 Posted: 23:55 May05 2005
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I actully have an idea of what the rest of the series will go like so when i put in the detail it makes a pretty decent Fan Fic
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Chaoticjaf123 Posted: 23:57 May05 2005
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yup
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Trunks245 Posted: 18:33 May06 2005
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Chapter 5: The Fusion of Cooler and Freiza
On Earth the Z fighters race to put out the volcano.
Gohan:I can probably seal it with a Kamehameha wave.
Majuub:Ok, me and Pan will help the people.
Goten:Ill help Gohan
Trunks:Ok lets move!
Gohan@Goten:Kamehamehaaa!!!
The immense power of the blast seals off the top of the volcano.
Trunks:thats everyone!
Gohan:Ok then find a safe place to put them then meet me back at the lookout.
Trunks:Ok see ya.
As Trunks speeds toward a nearby village,Gohan and Goten and Pan head back to the lookout.
Cytro:Lets follow them,theres nothing more we can do!
Majuub:Yes there is! Help me douse this fire!
Cytro:Fine. Blast Sheild!
An immense ball forms around the lava which Cytro picks up and hurls toward a wasteland.
Cytro:Now can we go?
At the fighting scene Goku was pummeling Freiza and Cooler even as they used desprate attempts to dodge his blasts and punches.
Cooler:Brother! We-we cant go on like th-this
Freiza:I ag-agree.We must use the fusion technique
Cooler:You said that was for emergencies!
Freiza:YOU IDIOT! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!!
Cooler:Fine..we use the move.
Goku:I dont know what your talking about but im gonna shut you up! 10x Ka-Me-Ha-Me-Haaaa!!!!
Freiza:Brother Now!!!
Cooler@Freiza:FUSION!!!
As Freiza and Cooler are engulfed in the blast. Goku smiles triumphently.
Goku:There.. Its over. I fulfilled your wish Vegeta.
???:Are you so sure?
Goku:No!! it cant be!
???:It is. We survived at the last minute by doing fusion.
Goku:Fusion?!?!
???:Thats right Goku. Now i am the ultimate warrior! Coolza!
Goku:(I cant believe this! Their power has multiplied by 10 since they fused!)
Coolza:Speechless are we? Well allow me to help you(Disappears)
Goku:Where did you go!
Coolza:Right here. Behind you.
Goku:Huh. Uhhhnn
Coolza:Hurts dont it Goku. Well thers plenty more to go around!
Goku:No! hes too powerful! i cant stand up to this! He practicly moved at lightspeed.
Coolza:Heres one of my new more favorite moves! Energy Seal Bomb!
Goku:Argghhh.
As Goku gets hit by the bomb he reverts back to his usual form.
Goku:What happened!
Coolza:Its an Energy Seal Bomb! Its seals your energy for a full 10 minutes... but i doubt youll last that long.
With Goku cut off from his energy waves he is powerless against the ultimate Coolza. How can he win
Next episode The True Super Saiyan 4
On Earth the Z fighters race to put out the volcano.
Gohan:I can probably seal it with a Kamehameha wave.
Majuub:Ok, me and Pan will help the people.
Goten:Ill help Gohan
Trunks:Ok lets move!
Gohan@Goten:Kamehamehaaa!!!
The immense power of the blast seals off the top of the volcano.
Trunks:thats everyone!
Gohan:Ok then find a safe place to put them then meet me back at the lookout.
Trunks:Ok see ya.
As Trunks speeds toward a nearby village,Gohan and Goten and Pan head back to the lookout.
Cytro:Lets follow them,theres nothing more we can do!
Majuub:Yes there is! Help me douse this fire!
Cytro:Fine. Blast Sheild!
An immense ball forms around the lava which Cytro picks up and hurls toward a wasteland.
Cytro:Now can we go?
At the fighting scene Goku was pummeling Freiza and Cooler even as they used desprate attempts to dodge his blasts and punches.
Cooler:Brother! We-we cant go on like th-this
Freiza:I ag-agree.We must use the fusion technique
Cooler:You said that was for emergencies!
Freiza:YOU IDIOT! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!!
Cooler:Fine..we use the move.
Goku:I dont know what your talking about but im gonna shut you up! 10x Ka-Me-Ha-Me-Haaaa!!!!
Freiza:Brother Now!!!
Cooler@Freiza:FUSION!!!
As Freiza and Cooler are engulfed in the blast. Goku smiles triumphently.
Goku:There.. Its over. I fulfilled your wish Vegeta.
???:Are you so sure?
Goku:No!! it cant be!
???:It is. We survived at the last minute by doing fusion.
Goku:Fusion?!?!
???:Thats right Goku. Now i am the ultimate warrior! Coolza!
Goku:(I cant believe this! Their power has multiplied by 10 since they fused!)
Coolza:Speechless are we? Well allow me to help you(Disappears)
Goku:Where did you go!
Coolza:Right here. Behind you.
Goku:Huh. Uhhhnn
Coolza:Hurts dont it Goku. Well thers plenty more to go around!
Goku:No! hes too powerful! i cant stand up to this! He practicly moved at lightspeed.
Coolza:Heres one of my new more favorite moves! Energy Seal Bomb!
Goku:Argghhh.
As Goku gets hit by the bomb he reverts back to his usual form.
Goku:What happened!
Coolza:Its an Energy Seal Bomb! Its seals your energy for a full 10 minutes... but i doubt youll last that long.
With Goku cut off from his energy waves he is powerless against the ultimate Coolza. How can he win
Next episode The True Super Saiyan 4
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Chaoticjaf123 Posted: 18:56 May06 2005
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ok, its got good ideas... but you need to work on certain points. for one, people in dbz constantly move faster than the speed of light, its called after image. they move so fast that theyve reached their destination befire theyve even left. also, goku has never said 10x kamaehameha. he jsut does a more powerful verison, he still says the same thing. also, you need to be able to word things differently.
At the fighting scene Goku was pummeling Freiza and Cooler even as they used desprate attempts to dodge his blasts and punches.
At the fighting scene Goku was pummeling Freiza and Cooler even as they tried desperately to dodge his attacks.
At the fighting scene Goku was pummeling Freiza and Cooler even as they used desprate attempts to dodge his blasts and punches.
At the fighting scene Goku was pummeling Freiza and Cooler even as they tried desperately to dodge his attacks.
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Trunks245 Posted: 19:00 May06 2005
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Ya i just say 10x to show its the more powerful version. he isnt actully saying it
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Chaoticjaf123 Posted: 19:02 May06 2005
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ok, just making sure
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Hyperwire_2.0 Posted: 19:05 May06 2005
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DUde, if you don't like it, leave him alone then!
Chaoticjaf123 Posted: 19:07 May06 2005
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im not saying i dont like it man, im just making suggestions... sorry, im not the type of person who spares feelings and wants everyone to think they are perfect... just trying to help
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Trunks245 Posted: 19:09 May06 2005
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I dont care if he says that stuff. it actully helps me make my strory better
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Chaoticjaf123 Posted: 19:10 May06 2005
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yeaho, you seem a little paranoid hyper. im trying to help people improve, not make them feel bad. if you want to you can go read my story and tear it apart with suggestions, ill welcome it
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