Story Time!!! >_<

Over the course of this week, it's been pretty friggin wild. But not as wild as the story I am about to tell you.

I'm sure you know what a Gopher is and what it looks like, so I'll skip the details.

Ever since I moved from the city to the rural area, everything has been pretty odd to me;
-Well-water
-odd looking bugs
-all sorts of bug bites
-a diverse community
-Animals/Reptiles/Birds I've never seen in person

I've adjusted to the first 4 things I've listed, but that last one...not quite. It's these damn Gophers. My dad is a competitive guy when it comes to the yard, and he does everything in his power to make it look better than everyone else's. So I have to go out there and clean it up daily. There's a family of Gophers that like to dig up holes everywhere. They even burrowed into my dad's prized Corvette and made a nest in there. (Lol, I laughed cause it was cute looking)

Ok, my dad is officially p!$$ed off. He throws smoke bombs in every hole he sees in the yard, and a flurry of Gophers (I counted about 8) are running around in confusion. My dad is happy, and said they won't show up for about a good while...WRONG. They came back months later, burrowing holes at my basketball rim, the backyard, and the side of the house. My dad is peeved again, and this time, he wants them gone for good. He drops poison in every hole. I haven't seen a Gopher since then, but there was one that survived; IT WAS HUGE! I don't know what happened to it, ut I've never seen any Gopher that was near equilvalent to the size of a moderate sized printer.

This one was different; he was smart and avoided everything my dad put out there(poison, smoke bombs, traps). But one day, out of the blue, that same Gopher came...in front of my house and in the driveway. It was running around in circles, crashing into flower pots, and it had some whitish-foam coming from it's mouth(Rabbies, if that's how you spell it) My mom pulled up from Wal-mart, and that thing circled the car, but when my mom came out, it stopped and sat in front of the driveway. Ok, I'm getting a little freaked out, so I call my dad.

Dad Comes out, and the Gopher makes this weird noise and starts crawling slowly towards the door; it wants a piece of him. My dad threw four big rocks at it and it was down for the count. Ok, my dad thinks problem is solved so we all go to sleep. Lol, next morning, that thing is on all fours walking around the driveway. My dad comes out again, and it tries to attack; but the rocks my dad threw at it a day ago broke alot of stuff in him, so he sits there making this screeching noise. My dad smashes it with several rocks, smacks it with a shovel, and buries it in the hole it made several weeks ago.

Guess what? That thing STILL wasn't down. It dug it's way out of it's supposed grave and died soon after. I know this because when my dad buried it, his head was facing towards the hole. When I came back there, his head was facing the opposite way of the hole. As I type this, it's still on the side of the house rotting and the flies are buzzing about.

Poor Gopher. But since it had rabies, killing it was the right thing to do. If it bit anything it would've killed someone or something.

About the grave thing.....I now believe in zombies.

I think it kept coming back because it hated my dad for poisoning it and smoke bombing it's nests. That thing kept coming back.

It's hard to kill the prized Wolf Gopher.

Did you give it a name?

wOW foaming mouth, sounds fun, I woulda kept him as a pet in a metal cage in the back yard

It's zombie apocalypse time. Nice job starting it, hero.

On 21-Jul-2008 ShadowsTM said:

wOW foaming mouth, sounds fun, I woulda kept him as a pet in a metal cage in the back yard

Dude, foaming mouth means rabies. And if you get the foam on your skin you will die! There is no cure for it.

Zombie gopher? They should use that in a Foamy the Squirrel episode...

On 21-Jul-2008 PhilXZ said:

Dude, foaming mouth means rabies. And if you get the foam on your skin you will die! There is no cure for it.

You can only get rabies if the virus is injected into your bloodstream by means of animal bite.

Damn mutant goph...

Oh wait, the same sort of thing has already been said. That's my say taken then.

Why doesn't somebody get rid of that dead gopher anyway? It won't do much good out there rotting, and certainly won't make the prized garden look any better. Perhaps your dad should stuff it and keep it as a trophy.

Something similar happened to me. There was some birds nest with 4 chicks in it on my porch, and I thought I should not touch it because the mom might reject it. After a long time (2 days) of it constantly waking me up in the morning, I smashed them with a big rock. They were making dieing screeching sounds for almost an hour. I don't know how a few couple-week-old birds could survive having a 6 inch rock smashed atop their little 2cm heads.

They shouldn't have annoyed me. Just like that Gopher and your dad.

« Last edited by Town Idiot25 on Jul 21st 2008 »

On 21-Jul-2008 Town Idiot25 said:

Something similar happened to me. There was some birds nest with 4 chicks in it on my porch, and I thought I should not touch it because the mom might reject it. After a long time (2 days) of it constantly waking me up in the morning, I smashed them with a big rock. They were making dieing screeching sounds for almost an hour. I don't know how a few couple-week-old birds could survive having a 6 inch rock smashed atop their little 2cm heads.

They shouldn't have annoyed me. Just like that Gopher and your dad.

Birds don't like you when you're angry.

It was friggin unreal. My dad threw several big rocks at it, poisoned it, smoked it and even smacked it with a shovel. That Gopher had alot of fight, and dug itself out of it's own grave before it's death.

That was no ordinary animal.

You are right that was one very creepy, very deranged, and very annoying animal so it seems. Beware or a breed of zombie gophers may end up taking over your house!

I miss everything; Yesterday a Gypsie ran into our school and of corse I would miss it :(

On 21-Jul-2008 PhilXZ said:

Dude, foaming mouth means rabies. And if you get the foam on your skin you will die! There is no cure for it.

Yes i was kinda messin about, tell ya what works better than rocks, GUNS, lotsa shot guns

I've had muskrats come around the house and destroy the back gardens. We just get rid of them by throwing them in a remote bay.

Haha, I like that story, and not just because it's funny, but because I can relate to it. I have a few gophers here, but my problem is prarie dogs. My family has alot of fun just going out into a pasture and poping those suckers out of this world.

the other day me and my friend were walking to a bus stop. it was sunny and the day was nice.

then, we saw a baby chick on the road. and we watched it for a while, waiting for it to get off the road, but the damn thing couldnt fly.

so we walked up to it and it ran under a car. so then we tried to bring it out, and my damn friend was all

"I dont want to touch it, the mother might not want it anymore"

next minute, a cat comes along, and before we could do anything, we watched as the cat grabbed the baby bird in its mouth and ran away, a pack of other birds attacking it.

we could hear the baby's cries as it was carried away, and sure enough, we arrived at the bust stop like ._. instead of :DDD

I asked him why he didnt just pick it up, and he was like "I dont know ;_;"


silly men. :(