Soul Edge: The Saintan Within - Stephen

Raphael is an awesome character, but the French still oudoes him when it comes to owning him.

Note: Read Talim's chapter 7 "Shrine of the Forge" before reading this.

Chapter 6 - Collossal

I watched from a distance as Raphael?s castle went up in flames, waiting there until morning came before leaving. ?Well he was no help.? I thought, walking along by myself. I began to think on other possibilities I could use to help me, before remembering something. I felt in to a pouch on my belt and brought out a map I was given a while back. ?Sophitia gave this to me when I met her, she really helped me the last time. Maybe she could help out again this time.? The idea sprung in to my mind. Checking my rough location on the map to that of Athens, I headed off towards Greece.

A few days after entering Greece, I arrived in Athens on what seemed to be a quiet day. Very few people were outside, no market stalls were open, several houses had their windows closed. ?Hmm, I don?t think this?ll be any help.? I thought, not remembering where Sophitia lived. I looked up ahead of me. On the mountain that towered over the city, I noticed something just visible. Wondering what it was, I asked a passer by, ?Excuse me, what is that on the mountainside??
?Oh, that is the shrine of the God Hepheastus, God of forge.?
?God of forge??
?Yes, he grants us holy power within our weaponry if we follow his teachings.? he continued, before going on with his daily life.
?Hmm, interesting.? I thought, ?I think I?m in the mood for a hike.? I headed onwards towards Mt Olympus.

After several hours of mountain climbing - which I managed easily after living most f my life in Scotland - I found myself in what appeared to be the main shrine of Hepheastus. There was a fast flowing stream of water that was surrounded by pillars that lead up to a platform where two streams became one. A giant statue of what I guessed was the God Himself stood at the back, while in front two warriors fought each other while a third stood back?
?Oh, ****!? I said, recognising the three as Sophitia, Talim and Yun-Seong. I quickly hid behind a pillar. I heard the blades of Talim?s and Sophitia?s blades several times as I snuck round the pillars to avoid being seen. The clashes suddenly stopped, leaving the area silent for a few moments, before I started to hear voices. I glanced around the side of my current pillar to see they were coming this way. I dodged back behind it, moving myself around the pillar as they walked by. I waited a few moments until they were a good way past me. ?Phew, they didn?t notice me.? I said, walking past the pillar, not watching where I was going. I tripped over the edge of the walkway and fell in to the icy cold water. I quickly swam back up to the surface and grabbed on to the edge of the walkway, making myself hidden in case the sound of my splash alerted them. When I was sure they had gone, I pulled myself back up and walked around. ?I?ll have to remember to thank Talim for teaching me to swim.? I mentally took a note of. I reached the wall that lined the edge of the mountain and jumped at it, kicking myself off of it and on to the central platform. I stared up at the statue that stood before me. ?So?what is it I?m supposed to do here for you?? I asked it; a thought coming in to my head ?You?re talking to a statue, have you seriously lost it?? I decided to agree with it, ?I?m probably better off asking Sophitia.? I said to myself, turning around and heading off.

I heard something behind me.
?Huh?? I said, turning around to see what it was. A small rock had fallen on to the platform. I looked up to see if anyone was up there, no one was. I dismissed it and walked off again.
Something else fell.
I turned back round to see more stones on the ground. ?Who?s up there?? I said, looking up, but stopping when my eyes came level with the statue.
?Was his arm always like that?? I said, noticing what looked like his arm had moved. ?Nah.? I dismissed such an insane idea. I walked closer towards the edge of the platform.
The noise was even louder this.
?Right, who keeps throwing those damn stones!? I yelled, turning back round, and was instantly stunned at what I saw. The gate had been burst open from the other side, which gave only one possible suspect.
?Oh, please don?t tell me my luck is this bad?? I said, praying the worst wasn?t going to happen. Unfortunately, a giant, grey foot emerged from the gate, followed by a second, followed by the rest of the statue. It turned round to face me, wielding it?s giant stone sword and shield menacingly. It raised it?s sword wielding arm up, ready to strike. ?Oh, hell no.? I said, my voice filling up with fear.

I rolled quickly out of the way, hearing the tiles on the ground shatter as the sword slammed in to them. I got to my feet and drew my blades, straight away using them to cover my face from flying pieces of the tiles. I put my hands down to see the sword heading towards me. I jumped to avoid it, landing on the sword. The statue swung it right around the ground, fast enough that I had to hold on to stay on to the sword. It then raised it upwards, sending me upwards in to the air. I saw one of the pillar-supported walkways starting to come closer to me as I started to fall back down. I spun in the air so I landed feet first, crouching as I landed so I didn?t break my legs. ?How am I supposed to defeat this?? I thought, straightening up and, seeing the sword hand hurtling towards me again, running to the left as the sword destroyed the platform. I turned back around to see that - along with a good amount of the shrine falling down the side of the mountain - its sword was stuck in the stone below. ?Hmm, this could be a chance.? I thought, running for the arm. I jumped down on to it, climbing up the arm as he struggled to free his sword. I got to his shoulder and, noticing several indents and sticking out pieces of rock on the back of his neck and head, climbed up. On the top of his head, I saw something shining red on top of his head. I got closer to it and realised what it was. ?That?s a sword shard, he?s being brought to life by Soul Edge!? I realised. I sheathed my left sword and, holding my right sword above my head with both hands, swung my blade down in to the shard. The force of the blow, chipped away some of the surrounding stone, which caused the statue to violently snap its whole body back in pain. The force of this knocked me off of it on to the other side of the pillar-supported walkway. ?That?s it! Chip out the shard and he?ll return to a normal statue.? I realised, ?Just getting on top of him again is the hard part though??

Before I could continue that thought, I noticed that he had freed his sword and was now preparing to attack again. I ran from it, though the power of it destroyed the platform below my feet as I ran. I fell down on to its sword - which, despite it?s destructive power, wasn?t entirely sharp. I ran up the sword, climbing up towards his neck while holding on every few seconds as he swung its arm to try and shake me off. I scrambled back up his neck and hacked away at the shard several times. I glanced to the side and saw its hand coming up to grab me. I drove my sword in to its head next to the shard before dodging out of the way of its hand. Once it had retreated, I returned to my sword and tried to prise out the metal fragment. ?Nearly got it?? I said, almost having it completely removed. Before I could finish it, I suddenly felt stone surround me, looking around to see its hand right around me. I could only watch as was raised upwards and thrown towards the other side of the shrine. I flipped round in mid-air to land feet first on the pillar-supported walkway, sliding along the ground several feet before slamming in to a wall. I pushed myself off of the wall and, not wasting any time, quickly ran back towards it. As it saw me coming, it raised it sword upwards, as if deciding now was the time to finish this. He suddenly swung its shield arm around itself and back, letting go of the shield and sending it spinning towards me. I rolled forward, timing it perfectly as the shield flew just above me, before getting back to my feet and continuing the charge. The statue held its sword with both arms now, waiting as I cam closer to the end of the walkway. The sword came crashing downwards, destroying the end of the walkway and a good part of what lay before it. Seeing the walkway fall before me, I jumped, looking down as the sword started to rise again. I landed on the sword, grabbing on as tightly as I could as I went up with the sword. As the sword went higher, I looked downwards as his head came closer. When I knew I was above where I needed to be, I jumped off, holding my sword in both hands and holding it down as the shard on its head came closer to view. I landed on it, my sword piercing the shard which caused the statue to writher in agony. I pulled at my sword several times, eventually taking it out of its head - along with the shard. I took the shard off of my sword and - after feeling the thud of the statue fall to its knees - jumped off to the side, rolling along the ground upon contact. I turned around as the statue?s face fell in to the water, the whole neck cracking and falling apart upon impact with the side of the main shrine. ?Wow?I just took out a statue.? I realised, remembering and looking at the shard in my hand.
?I no longer need these.? I decided, turning my open hand in to a fist before throwing it away.

I started to walk away when I heard another thud behind me, though a lot louder than the previous ones. ?Oh, for ****?s sake!? I yelled, turning around to see what it was, ?Now what??
What I saw was a shock. There standing opposite me was Astaroth, though his skin was now somehow a deep red than his usual colour. His chest was now a glowing yellow scar - his heart had now completely retracted inside of his body. Other than that, it was the same axe-wielding maniac I had last seen leaving Abydonia.
?You *******.? He said, ?Don?t you know people worshipped that thing??
He swung his axe horizontally at me, which I blocked with both swords. I backflipped out of the way of another swing of the axe. ?Hmph, not exactly the best way to greet those you haven?t seen in a while.? I said, side-stepping a vertical axe swipe. The golem brought his axe upwards at an angle, catching me on it and propelling me up to what was left of one of the upper walkways. I looked down as he charged forward, destroying several of the pillars before his axe caught on to the platform in front of me. I looked down again to see him climbing up his axe. ?You want worship?? I asked, stepping back to wait for him to come up. ?Worship this!?
As his face poked above the platform, I ran forward, jumped and kicked him in the face, knocking him off the platform and off the side of the cliff. I felt a sudden shaking below me, looking around to see that a part of the walkway looked like it was moving upwards. The ground started to turn on its side, knocking me off balance. I fell off the shrine, the distant ground below - and Astaroth - starting to look closer with every second.

« Last edited by Cervantes De Leon on Aug 7th 2007 »

Colossus and Astaroth in one chapter? Only one thing I can say about that...



Howevar, I did notice a few errors. They are as follows:

"I took a mentally took a note of" O rly?
"writher" Doesn't need the R at the end.

Bonus points for using the same quote as before to greet Astaroth. Need moar.

Nice cliffhanger there. And the thoughts of Stephen deserve an appluase because they seem to reflect exactly what I think in most situations of f*cked upedness. His actions don't. I would run. Anyway it's just as good as before and was great to read.

Cervy wasn't convinced by my previous post, so I asked Vegeta to check the awesomeness of this chapter on the scouter.


It's over NINE THOUSAAAAAND!

What? Over nine thousand?!

I knew the last paragraph in the Talim chapter was relevant. :D

Anyways, uber! Great fight scene with Colossus, and good moments iwth Astaroth, although I'd not have minded if that fight had lasted a bit longer. I suppose it still could in the next chapter, so I'll just wait and see what happens. Keep it up.

Hello. I'm not completely certain if I followed things in the correct order. With two separate topics, it was difficult for me to tell which order they were posted in. But I've read them in what seems to be a logical order, so... I hope that's alright.

On to business. I must say, it has a good and interesting plot, but I'm not particularly impressed with the writing itself. You seem to make small mistakes very frequently. Whether it is a misplaced comma, a mistake in punctuation or capitalization, or simply wording something in a way that is confusing. I'm not sure how to explain what I mean, so I'm just going to show an example.

?Hmm?? the man - who, after a proper look at him, was probably about a similar age to me - ?Ok, I apologise. I over-reacted.?

There are several mistakes here. They are all small and might seem insignificant, but they are there. You skipped saying what the man actually did. If you remove the - ... - insert, you're left with the following:

?Hmm?? the man ?Ok, I apologise. I over-reacted.?

I assume you meant "the man said" or "the man began." And then the - ... - insert itself is worded in a way that is a bit confusing.

- who, after a proper look at him, was probably about a similar age to me -

To me, the 'after a proper look at him' implies that something was different before he looked properly. But his age didn't change with the look, his perception just shifted. Something like "- who, after a proper look at him, I decided was probably about a similar age to me -" would be more accurate.

Another small mistake is simply the way you've written over-reacted. Overreacted is a compound word; the hyphen is not necessary. A more professional way to write the entire thing could be any of the following:

?Hmm?? the man - who, after having a proper look at him, I decided was probably of a similar age to me - began. ?OK, I apologise. I overreacted.?

?Hmm?? the man - who, with a proper look at him, I guessed was probably about a similar age to me ? said, ?Okay, I apologise. I overreacted.?

"Hmm..." the man - who, having had a chance to look at him properly, I decided was probably about as old as me - sighed. "Okay, I apologise. I overreacted."

There are lots of ways the bit could have been improved if written differently, basically. And I know it probably seems like I'm just being picky here, but the thing is, the story is laced with little things like that. It doesn't necessarily make the writing bad, but working on it could certainly improve the quality. I mean, if you need me to find other quotes to justify what I'm saying, I will.

But other than grammatical conventions, I do like it. The chapters are a tad bit short, but nothing to worry about. I?m actually a big fan of the Soul Calibur series, so I enjoy seeing some of the classic characters interacting with your invented ones and aiding them in your plot. I also like your version of the Colossus fight. Very entertaining. And on the Talim side, I loved your interpretation of the purification ritual.

So, as I?ve said, I do like the stories. My only complaints are those of grammatical conventions. I?ll be back if new chapters are posted.


« Last edited by Panic Supreme on Aug 10th 2007 »

Guess I could for those who are unsure/actually care about this fic* state the current chronology of this fic:

Talim chapter 1
Stephen chapter 1
Stephen chapter 2
Talim chapter 2
Stephen chapter 3
Talim chapter 3
Talim chapter 4/Stephen chapter 4
Talim chapter 5
Stephen chapter 5
Talim chapter 6
Talim chapter 7/Stephen chapter 6

*Yeah right

« Last edited by Cervantes De Leon on Aug 10th 2007 »

Wow, that would certainly have been terrifying. I like the way that you defeated the collossus, although...

?You *******.? He said, ?Don?t you know people worshipped that thing??

Be honest, would Astaroth really say that? Personally I think it would be more likley to be along the lines of:

"Have my axeblade in your face you maggot!"

Nothing wrong with giving Astaroth some sarcastic wit is there? Never harmed Panda's Chaos.

Chapter 7 - Falling Out

I tucked in my arms to catch up with Astaroth, who - most likely because he had noticed me - opened his arms out to slow down his descent. He turned around in mid air, but before he could react further, I brought my foot down in to his chest. The force of my kicked knocked him down out of my reach, though not from his. Before I could react, The back of Astaroth?s axe slammed me in the back in to the side of the cliff. As I yelped in pain, I fell back out in to the path of his axe, sending another surge of pain through me as my face collided with the rock. The pain continued several times, becoming more intense each time my face became filled with dirt and stones. I tried to grab on to the cliff, only lasting a few seconds before losing my grip. I turned round and - catching up with the golem - slashed at him several times. Astaroth blocked each swipe, before having feeling the end of his axe slam in to my face. I spun upwards in the air, stopping the spin facing upwards. I shook the pain off of my face and, as my blurred vision returned to normal, gasped in horror upon the site of half of the shrine falling down upon us. ?Oh ****!" I thought, altering my position so that I fell faster. I turned around and - noticing just in time - dodged another axe swing from Astaroth, swiftly kicking him in the back. Astaroth stopped falling for a second, enough time for a large chunk of the shrine to catch up with him. He turned in the air so his feet were on the stone, using it for a platform. He swung his axe at me, catching the back of my jacket and dragging me up on the rock platform. I got to my feet and quickly dodged the blade of his axe. I slashed at him - narrowly missing his chest - before kicking him in the stomach. Before I could move my leg, the golem - who to my surprise didn?t flinch from the kick - grabbed it and threw me against the cliff. I pulled myself off of it, falling on to the next falling rock below it. I looked up - though what was really down - and saw a chunk of the upper platform being destroyed in one swing of Astaroth?s axe. I jumped off of the rock, landing on the next one just as the previous one was destroyed by rubble. Suddenly, the golem slammed down on the platform, tilting the platform and propelling me further towards the impending ground. I landed feet first on the above platform, then shooting myself upwards back to where I was. Before Astaroth could react, I swung my right sword at him, cutting his leg, before giving him a kick in the face. Astaroth staggered backwards, falling off the platform and in to the rocks behind him. I waited a few moments before jumping off of the platform to follow him.

I caught up with him as he landed on a small rock, not big enough for both of us to stand on. I slashed at him, to which he raised his axe at in defence. The handle quickly swung round and slammed in to my face, causing me to yelp in pain. I hit the side of the cliff from the force, coming back out and hitting Astaroth. The force of my impact knocked him off balance, causing his rock to spin. As he came round I slammed my left sword?s hilt in to his face, knocking him off. I kicked the rock upwards - thought it was really downwards - at him. The boulder slammed in to Astaroth, knocking him back. I straightened myself up and fell after him, slamming both feet in to the boulder to try and hit him again. The boulder was smashed in half by the axe before it got near him. I swung both blades down at him, both being blocked by the axe. I tried to put all my weight in to my arms to push it out of the way, but before I could, he pushed my arms upward and slammed the back of the axe down on my back. I spun further down towards the ground, ma back throbbing from the blow. I looked towards the ground and noticed that we were almost at ground level. I turned around and - to my horror - saw Astaroth throw his axe straight at me. I looked away and closed my eyes; I was going to die either by the axe above me or the ground below me.

I felt a sudden change in the current of the wind.
?Huh?? I opened my eyes, noticing that the axe had stopped falling and was returning to Astaroth - who seemed equally as surprised. The axe?s handle slammed in to his stomach, winding the golem. I looked further up and noticed that the rubble of the shrine was starting to blast towards Astaroth, slamming in to him several times. Astaroth fell below me dazed, open to attack. I -after sheathing my left - took my right sword in both hands and thrust it down in to Astaroth?s chest. The blade pierced through with minimal problems. ?Oh?crap!? Astaroth moaned, his body starting to flap about as I pulled my sword out of him. ?Well?that?s him finally finished?? I thought, looking down to see the ground almost ready to greet me, ?Looks like I?m next!?
Suddenly, a tornado formed around me. I almost instantly started to slow down, before eventually just floating in the air. I looked up and - as I knew she would be - Talim was in the tornado with me. We started to go down slowly towards the ground, at which point I started to relax and sheathed my still drawn sword. Talim eventually spoke ?Are you ok??
?Yeah, I?m fine.? I lied; my face was in pain from slamming in to the rock, my left leg hurt from a few bad landings on the shrine and my whole body felt exhausted from those last fights.
?You don?t look it.? she replied; it was clear I my lie was too obvious.
?I?m fine, ok?? I said. I wasn?t wanting her to start worrying about me.
There was an awkward silence between us. I started to feel as if I had said something wrong.
?What happened up there?? she eventually broke the silence. ?Why were the two of you falling down the cliff like that??
?No reason. He just knocked me down after I destroyed the shrine?s statue.?
?What!? she said, shocked. The tornado around us shrunk until it no longer surrounded me, causing me to fall the small distance left to the ground. Talim floated down and landed on the ground as if her huge plummet were just a small, simple step. ?You destroyed the statue? You do know how much they worship that shrine don?t you??
?Well, they won?t be doing much of anything in that shrine for a while.? I replied, starting to become annoyed by her questioning for reasons I wasn?t really sure of.
?What do you mean by that?? Talim asked, realising the answer before I could give it to her. ?You didn?t, did you??
?Not as if I was the only one doing it.? I replied, my anger building, ?Giant statue? Giant sword? Golem? Giant axe? Think they could have done a bit more than me with two normal swords, don?t you think? Maybe if you-?
?Wait, it was you who passed by me up there. I thought I felt your presence. Why were you hiding from us??
?I have my reasons.? I replied.
?It just seems like?you?re trying to avoid me.? she said, sounding a bit down on herself.
?I-I?? I wasn?t sure how to answer it. ?I just didn?t want you to get involved.?
?Why??
?I?I just didn?t, ok?? I couldn?t actually think of a reason I did.
?But?what about before? You didn?t mind when we travelled together before.? She asked.
I didn?t speak. I couldn?t answer the question.
?You never had any problems with me before. You said that you needed me for this.?
?I never needed you!? I snapped, yelling at her. ?I could have done it all by myself without any of your help!?

I knew I had gone too far. Talim?s eyes had enlarge Ned and were filling up with tears. Her arms were starting to shake. The wind was starting to pick up; I knew that I had seriously offended her.
?Um, Talim?? I asked.
?Please?go away.? she sobbed, turning away from me. A feeling of disgust for myself filled up in my stomach.
I tried to make myself liked again. ?I-I?m sorry. I-I don?t-?
?I don?t want to talk to you?? she whimpered; the wind behind me was starting to pick up.
?But?please-? I begged her to listen.
?Just?STOP!? she yelled. The wind behind me suddenly picked up incredibly, blowing me forwards towards her. She swung around, her hand formed in to a fist. Her fist hit my nose with such incredible force that I heard the bone cracking, feeling it a few seconds afterwards. The wind changed and blasted me backwards in to the cliff. I fell to my knees, then allowing my face to go down and join it on the ground. I heard sobs of tears accompany her footsteps.

I pushed myself up from the ground, though only managed to sit myself down against the cliff. My nose in agony, but I didn?t care about that; I had just destroyed my closest friend and our friendship, possibly forever. I dug in to a pouch on my belt and took out something she had given me from when we travelled together?

?You sure you want to try this?? I asked her. I has one of my father?s swords, Talim had the other instead of her elbow blades. She nodded, turning so her right hand - the hand she was wielding the sword with - was in front of her. I did the same. ?Begin.? I said, swinging the blade down to the side so that it could be blocked easily. She moved the sword she wielded to block mine - the weight difference between my swords and her blades showing in her face. ?Heavy?? I laughed, to which she nodded and smiled. I swung the blade around the other way, to which she again blocked. I slowly brought it downwards at her, again easily blocked. ?Okay, good.? I said, putting my sword down to my side. ?That will do.? I continued, feeling tired.
I turned around for a moment, suddenly hearing Talim say ?Sneak attack!?
Out of instinct, I spun around to avoid the attack, swinging the sword at neck level and passing her. As I realised what I had done, I turned around to see that all I hit was the end of her right ponytail, which the end of was now on the ground.
?Oops?sorry about that.? I apologised, sheathing my sword before I made any further accidents.
?It?s ok, I was kind of asking for that when I tricked you.? She replied.
?Wha? You weren?t attacking?? I said, surprised.
Talim laughed. I eventually started laughing with her; seeing the funny side of it.
?Yeah, sorry about the hair.? I said.
?It?s ok.? She replied, sitting down next to where she had put her stuff down for the night. I sat down next to her as she handed me back my sword and took one of her elbow blades in hand. She took the blade to her left ponytail. ?There we go, sorted.? she said, putting her elbow blade down. She took something out of her pocket and used it to tie the pile of hair together.
?Here?take it.? she said.
?Huh?? I was confused.
?Well, we?ll probably have to go our separate ways once we?ve finished this right??
?Yeah?? I didn?t really thought of what happened with us after we had destroyed Soul Edge.
?Now we will always have a way of remembering each other.?
?Ooh.? I realised what it was for. She took my hand and places the tied bundle in to it. ?Thanks.? I said, smiling.
Talim smiled back.
I let out a small laugh before lying back, looking up at the evening sky.
I held the small bundle in my hand, remembering the times that we had together. I clenched the fist, feeling several tears dripping from my eyes on to my hand, while others burned away at my nose. The pain of that was washed out by the agony that sat within my heart. ?There?s no point in just sitting here mourning over something like this.? I thought between sobs, ?I still have something to do.?
I got to my feet - just - and walked off slowly, my steps being marked by a trail of tears.

« Last edited by Cervantes De Leon on Sep 4th 2007 »

Astaroth's last words ftw.

Talim's scary when she's angry. Stephen really needs to be more careful.

I did spot a few minor mistakes, one of which I've already told you about. Can't remember where the others were, so they can't have been that important. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Who needs big speeches when you can say "Oh crap"?

Sad moment alert! I can see him finally meeting back up with her, trying to make her happy, and then suddenly, they're attacked.

Great chapter, Cervy. Got a bit confused during the falling fight, but not by much. Always fantastic to have enemies react to impending death with ?oh crap.?

Still, I think a lot of the focus should go to Talim and Stephen?s relationship. For that reason, the chapter was sad. Stephen is a bit of an ***, there, isn?t he? ?I never needed your help? literally seconds after she saved his life in two ways at once. I'd probably have gone with "thanks", but... great character development.

Anyway, keep it up.

« Last edited by Seos san Nekros on Sep 5th 2007 »

Geist quotes FTW.

Good work there, although Stephen did act like a bit of a pillock. Fortunately, Talim ws able to break his nose for it. Aside from that, I really liked it; now i just have to read Talim's.

Bump for CDL. Someone had to do it.

Thanks Cat. Sorry to everyone for the huge delay for these chapters.

Chapter 8 - Rivalry Battle

I began to wonder aimlessly for a few days, my head trapped in anger, hatred, rage and disgust. I ate little, I slept less, I went hours of just walking without stopping at all. I eventually fainted from exhaustion, coming to consciousness - and my senses - in a hotel. I spent the day in recovery, although while I was there, I overheard news of the destruction of an ancient temple in a place called Egypt. I thought about this lead, ?This could very well be Soul Edge.? the thought crossed my mind. I left the hotel the next day and headed south for Egypt.

The sun shone incredibly bright over me as I trudged along the sands of Egypt. ?Can?t believe?people actually?live out here.? I panted, remembering the cool climate of the mountains I grew up in. I eventually arrived outside of the temple, which left me amazed. The pyramid shape of it soared upwards in to the sky, surrounded by statues of what I assumed were ancient Egyptian Gods. Surrounding these statues - which unnerved me slightly with their appearance - were several crane towers that were moving giant blocks of stone about. I approached the pyramid, noticing the huge indents within the stone wall. I put my hand against it, feeling the aura that was left when the scars were formed, recognising it as Soul Edge. ?That?s all I needed to know.? I thought, now walking away from the pyramid. If I could then sense the energy that Nightmare had left in the surrounding area, I could track him down and defeat him once and for all.

?Hey! You *******!?

?Huh?? I turned round to suddenly get a fist slammed in to my face. I staggered backwards in to the sand, my still broken nose starting to bleed again. ?What the hell?? I yelled, getting to my feet to see - to my surprise - Yun-Seong. ??You.? I spat coldly.
?I heard what you did to her.? he said with incredibly bitterness, ?How could you be such a cold hearted *******??
?I?m the *******?? I yelled, ?I was trying to protect her fro-?
?Protect? By rejecting her from your life? What kind of protection is that?!?
?A kind you could NEVER offer.? I yelled coldly, approaching Yun-Seong so that our faces were right next to each other.
?We?ve got something unsettled, haven?t we?? I said, calming down a little, ?From the Water Mill Valley??
?Didn?t think it was worth remembering such a pathetic fight.? he said.
I spat in his face, causing to step back as he wiped his eye dry. ?You?ll pay for that.? he growled.
?Bring it.? I half whispered.

I drew my first blade slowly, though sped up as Yun-Seong suddenly dashed forwards, sword upwards. I blocked the swipe with my drawn, left sword, swiftly drawing my right and swinging at him. Yun-Seong maundered himself so he could block my blade. I swung my left blade at his stomach, but he jumped out of the way. I stepped forward and slashes again several times, but each time he jumped and dodged. He swung back, forcing me to lean far back to avoid his blade. He spun round and swung at my legs, to which I back flipped to dodge. As I straightened up, I hit something behind me. I turned round to see a chain going upwards. I looked around to see three other chains, all connecting in to one central chain above us. The ground suddenly shook, knocking me to the ground. I looked around to see the pyramid sinking. Shocked, I looked down, though only to see that we were instead rising. ?Someone obviously didn?t notice us on the loading platform.? Yun-Seong stated, looking about too.
?Ah well, just gives me a good height to launch you off of.? I said, tightening the grip on my blades.

Yun-Seong raised his sword above his head, then suddenly started to swing it about around him, as if he was trying to taunt me. ?Not bad.? I said, watching him, finish whatever he was doing. ?I?ll admit you have skills, but you?re not perfect, you cut your top at your side there.?
As he looked round to check my lie, I charged forward, jumped and kicked him in the chest. Yun-Seong flinched backwards in pain, taking a few steps to avoid my second foot flying towards where his face was a few seconds ago. I swung at him again, but was blocked by his Chinese sword easily. I swung again with my other sword, deliberately allowing it to be blocked while I charged up power from my soul to my first blade. I swung it round fast and hard, electrical sparks surging along it as my blade collided with Yun-Seong?s blade. The strength of the attack shoved Yun-Seong?s blade to the side, nearly completely out of his hand. Taking the chance, I rammed him to the ground with my shoulder before jumping down at him elbow first. Yun-Seong tried to move out of the way, but I managed to land on his arm, causing him to yell in pain. I rolled back up on to my feet as Yun-Seong staggered up on to his, using his sword to help. I sheathed my left sword and watched him trying to keep his balance. ?Hey, don?t count your chickens. I?m not done yet.? he spat, to which I merely sniggered.
?Never heard that one before.? I said, now leaning on my right sword as if it were a walking stick.
?You *******!? he yelled, suddenly straightening up and suddenly charging. I tried to bring my sword back up to defend, but it was stuck in the gaps in the metal. I looked back up to see Yun-Seong?s blade slash down at me. The sudden pain of steel inside of me surged through my entire body as his blade slashed down the right of my chest.

I let out a sudden blast of air from my mouth, now struggling to fill my lungs with air, but before I could fill up, the bloodied blade came crashing down at me again. Using what strength I still had, I managed to swing back on my blade to avoid it, then kick him in the chest. Yun-Seong staggered back, accidentally throwing his sword backwards in recoil, which hit one of the chains before flying off and down to the ground. ?****! My sword!? Yun-Seong yelled, seeing it fall off. I came to my feet and, gathering strength, rammed in to the back of him, knocking him off the platform and plummeting towards the sand. ??*******!? I spat, falling to my knees and coughing up blood. There was a sudden thud below me, followed by a crunch of bone. I staggered to the edge and looked down to see another crane platform that he had landed on, in particular a pile of bones that seemed to have clothes and a pair of curved blades. I scrolled my eyes along the platform, noticing - to my surprise - Talim. She looked upwards and, seeing me, stepped back a little. I turned around slowly and staggered away from the edge. Suddenly, I heard a snap behind me. I turned to see one of the chains had given up, causing the whole platform to tilt. I reached out and grabbed my still wedged sword, but it slipped loose. I started to fall, turning around to see that the distance to the ground wasn?t that far. I slammed in to the ground, my gaping wound incinerating with the sand-covered impact as I yelped in agony. As I struggled desperately to my feet - coughing up a mouthful of sand and blood - I looked up at the cranes, visualising the two of them looking down on the pyramid to try and spot a corpse. ?If she was to see me now?? I thought, somehow getting to my feet, ?She would see how pathetic and weak I am.?

I left the pyramid slowly and quietly, leaving a slight trial of blood behind me.

As I carried on, my legs started to feel heavier, my arms weaker and my chest tighter. I gasped for breath and fell to my knees, there was no way I could continue. I coughed up more blood, starting to dread each second as it meant I was closer to death. I fell on to my back, turning my head to the right to keep my eyes out of the sun. I noticed a blue figure approaching me, wielding what appeared to be a staff. ?You?re hurt?quite badly.? she said.
?Really? I hadn?t noticed.? I said weakly, annoyed by her stating something so obvious that a blind three-year old could have done.
She seemed to acknowledge my annoyance. ?Here?let me take care of it for you.? she said.
??huh? What?? I stammered, confused with what she meant. She placed her hand upon my chest, suddenly causing a cool, wet feeling across my cut. My chest stung, causing me to flinch in pain - although not as much as it had before. After a few moments, I looked back up at my chest, seeing that it was sealed, only a small scar remained. She then quickly put her hand over my nose, which suddenly felt like it was moulding back in to its proper shape.
??You?you can heal?? I stuttered, my strength already beginning to return as I pushed myself up in to a sitting position.
?Mhm, I have control over the element of water.? she said, holding her hand out in a cup shape as a fountain of water splashed out peacefully. ?My name is Hitomi.?
?Thanks?I?m Stephen.? I replied, feeling a smile appear along my face. I got to my feet and looked around to remember my destination.
?What are you doing?? she asked.
?I?m searching for Nightmare?s trail.? I replied, guessing that she knew who Nightmare was. ?She?s elemental like Talim and that fire girl, she?s bound to.? I decided.
?Wait, what? Why would you want to do that?? she asked shocked, getting to her own feet.
?Isn?t it obvious?? I asked her.
?Well, yes. You want to find him and kill him so you can destroy Soul Edge with Soul Calibur, possibly using Soul Edge for something first.?
??how did you do that?? I asked, shocked.
?You did say it was obvious.? she answered, making a look that made her seem cute.
I grunted - unable to think of what to say - and turned away.
?Look,? she said, returning to her serious nature, ?There is a prophecy that has been handed down through the generations of my people. It tells of-?
?Prophecy?? I burst out, turning back round to face her. ?Prophecy? What do you take me for, an idiot??
?Not really.? she said calmly, despite my interruption, ?I?d say more of a non-believer.?
?Damn right,? I said. ?I don?t believe in this prophecy crap. The future is impossible to predict. If it was possible, I wouldn?t be in this mess.?
Hitomi sighed. ?I can see you playing a key role in this?somehow.?
?I?m sorry, but I doubt that I would be a part of this ?prophecy?.?
I stared at her for a few moments, Hitomi returning the stare right back in to my eyes. Eventually, she glanced away. ?I?ve said what I needed to say, I?ll let you go on then.? she resigned to.
?Ok then.? I said.
?Just don?t be too surprised when your time comes, k??
?Ok.? I said, tough mainly to get her to shut up. I walked off in the direction of Nightmare. ?Thanks for the help.?
?You?ll need me again?someday.? she said. ?I don?t know how, but I can feel it.?
?Yeah?Ok.? I said, not really believing her. I continued onwards, not looking back at my saviour.

ZOMFGFICUPDATESFROMCERVY

*Ahem*

Yay.

Anyways, random outbursts of joy aside, this was a good chapter. I noticed a few typos and you may have overused the word "suddenly" a bit, but that's minor stuff. As a whole, I thoroughly enjoyed.

Do I get anything for recognizing the obvious cameo? No? Didn't think so, oh well.

I've got my predictions, but I'll keep them to myself for right now. Just keep up the good work, Cervy. Looking forward to more.

Sotek usually gives out virtual muffins for sptting cameos.

Like the other chapter, I also enjoyed this one. I actually prefer Stephen's story over Talim's, namely because of how these are a lot more violent than the others. Not much else to say really, so I suppose I'll just wait another three months for the next ones.

Yeah, but this isn't my fic. Good chapter, once again I must comment on the confusing coolness of having two simultanious chapters from different viewpoints. I liked the way that you implied that Yunsung broke most of his boneswhen he landed, and it turned out that he actually... well I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't read the other one yet.

Fic... Need more fic...

Since a new chapter in the other side of the fic is up, just thought I'd bump this side to remind you all of it.

Posting in a legendary thread.