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Bad Wolf Posted: 16:40 Nov12 2005
Post ID: 516122
Bad Wolf
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"Quoting yourself is stupid." Me
Hyperwire_2.0 Posted: 16:44 Nov12 2005
Post ID: 516131
Hyperwire_2.0
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Your pissing me off, I'm in a bad mood. I say that one like everyday
shiny zapdos Posted: 17:44 Nov12 2005
Post ID: 516221
shiny zapdos
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Here's a good one from Red Dwarf. This involves Holly, the Red Dwarf SuperComputer (no, not me lol - it's a man, for a start) and one of the several Humans who live on the Ship, Dave Lister.
Holly: Busy, Dave?
Lister: Well, yeah. I am, actually.
Holly: Oh, then you won't want to know about the two super-light-speed fighters that are tracking us.
Lister: What?!
Holly: I'll leave you to your bubble blowing, mate.
Lister: No, Hol, come on, come on.
Holly: They're from Earth.
Lister: Three million years away?
Holly: They're from the NorWEB federation.
Lister: What's that?
Holly: The North Western Electricity Board. They want you, Dave.
Lister: Me? Why? What for?
Holly: For your crimes against humanity.
Lister: You what?!
Holly: It seems when you left Earth three million years ago, you left two half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen.
Lister: Did I?
Holly: You know what happens to sausages left unattended for three million years?
Dave: Yeah. They go all mouldy.
Lister: Your sausages, Dave, now cover seven-eighths of the Earth's surface. Also you left seventeen pounds, fifty pence in a bank account. Thanks to compound interest you now own ninety-eight percent of all the world's wealth, but since you've hoarded it for three million years nobody's got any money except for you and NorWEB.
Lister: Why NorWEB?
Holly: You left a light on in the bathroom. I've got a final demand here for one hundred and eighty billion pounds.
Lister: A hundred and eighty billion pounds! You're kidding!
Holly: April fool!
Lister: But it's not April.
Holly: Yeah, I know, but I could hardly wait six months with a red-hot jape like that under my belt.
^ THAT is the funniest thing I've ever heard, I'm not kidding. I've watched that episode so many smegging times it's frankly frightening, and it STILL rocks! ^_^ I'll leave the facial expressions to your imagination, because that's half the beauty of quotes.
Holly: Busy, Dave?
Lister: Well, yeah. I am, actually.
Holly: Oh, then you won't want to know about the two super-light-speed fighters that are tracking us.
Lister: What?!
Holly: I'll leave you to your bubble blowing, mate.
Lister: No, Hol, come on, come on.
Holly: They're from Earth.
Lister: Three million years away?
Holly: They're from the NorWEB federation.
Lister: What's that?
Holly: The North Western Electricity Board. They want you, Dave.
Lister: Me? Why? What for?
Holly: For your crimes against humanity.
Lister: You what?!
Holly: It seems when you left Earth three million years ago, you left two half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen.
Lister: Did I?
Holly: You know what happens to sausages left unattended for three million years?
Dave: Yeah. They go all mouldy.
Lister: Your sausages, Dave, now cover seven-eighths of the Earth's surface. Also you left seventeen pounds, fifty pence in a bank account. Thanks to compound interest you now own ninety-eight percent of all the world's wealth, but since you've hoarded it for three million years nobody's got any money except for you and NorWEB.
Lister: Why NorWEB?
Holly: You left a light on in the bathroom. I've got a final demand here for one hundred and eighty billion pounds.
Lister: A hundred and eighty billion pounds! You're kidding!
Holly: April fool!
Lister: But it's not April.
Holly: Yeah, I know, but I could hardly wait six months with a red-hot jape like that under my belt.
^ THAT is the funniest thing I've ever heard, I'm not kidding. I've watched that episode so many smegging times it's frankly frightening, and it STILL rocks! ^_^ I'll leave the facial expressions to your imagination, because that's half the beauty of quotes.
Super GoGoBananas Posted: 20:59 Nov12 2005
Post ID: 516552
Super GoGoBananas
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lol thats hilliarious
YOU ALL SUCK!!!!!!!! RICH CANT EVEN FRICKEN IP BAN ME PROPERLY!!!!!!! U TWAT I CAN STILL GO ON SC WITH MY OTHER ACCOUNT!!!!!
Bad Wolf Posted: 05:17 Nov13 2005
Post ID: 516894
Bad Wolf
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I roffled. I really did. And I'm also completely out of quotes, so that's it from me.
shiny zapdos Posted: 05:29 Nov13 2005
Post ID: 516909
shiny zapdos
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So did I, it's bloody hilarious.
Here's a few more Red Dwarf ones - Quite simply THE best show for quotes! I'm going to specialise on Craig Charles' character, Dave Lister, simply because he pwns all.
"You're really mean with money. You're a tremendous physical coward. You once spent an afternoon on the Samaritans switchboard and four people committed suicide. Your middle name is Judas but you tell everyone that it's Jonathan. You sign all your official letters "Arnold Rimmer BSc" and the BSc stands for "Bronze Swimming Certificate". You're a cheating, weasly, low-life scumbucket with all the charm and social grace of a pubic louse."
*Pointing at Hitler* "Ignore him. He's a complete and total nutter! AND he's only got one testicle!"
"Don't give me any of that 'Star Trek' crap. It's too early in the morning."
"This is crazy! Why are we talking about going to bed with Wilma Flintstone?! She'll never leave Fred and we know it!"
"I just don't trust that machine, man. Look, I know it's old- fashioned, but I'm from the school that believes, 'If God intendeed us to fly, he wouldn't have invented Spanish air traffic control'."
^ I feel pity for you if you haven't seen Red Dwarf...
Here's a few more Red Dwarf ones - Quite simply THE best show for quotes! I'm going to specialise on Craig Charles' character, Dave Lister, simply because he pwns all.
"You're really mean with money. You're a tremendous physical coward. You once spent an afternoon on the Samaritans switchboard and four people committed suicide. Your middle name is Judas but you tell everyone that it's Jonathan. You sign all your official letters "Arnold Rimmer BSc" and the BSc stands for "Bronze Swimming Certificate". You're a cheating, weasly, low-life scumbucket with all the charm and social grace of a pubic louse."
*Pointing at Hitler* "Ignore him. He's a complete and total nutter! AND he's only got one testicle!"
"Don't give me any of that 'Star Trek' crap. It's too early in the morning."
"This is crazy! Why are we talking about going to bed with Wilma Flintstone?! She'll never leave Fred and we know it!"
"I just don't trust that machine, man. Look, I know it's old- fashioned, but I'm from the school that believes, 'If God intendeed us to fly, he wouldn't have invented Spanish air traffic control'."
^ I feel pity for you if you haven't seen Red Dwarf...
Super GoGoBananas Posted: 05:35 Nov13 2005
Post ID: 516917
Super GoGoBananas
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Finally some pity! yah! lol
YOU ALL SUCK!!!!!!!! RICH CANT EVEN FRICKEN IP BAN ME PROPERLY!!!!!!! U TWAT I CAN STILL GO ON SC WITH MY OTHER ACCOUNT!!!!!
Bad Wolf Posted: 05:38 Nov13 2005
Post ID: 516926
Bad Wolf
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"I hate you. I never want to see you again. Oh, and you still owe me a quid." Me, pwning one of my former friends.
Super GoGoBananas Posted: 05:41 Nov13 2005
Post ID: 516932
Super GoGoBananas
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One of my friends said this to me,
'I rekon that if elves (as in lord of the rings) took of their clothes they would float away!'
me- 'I can see why your in the lowest classes'
'I rekon that if elves (as in lord of the rings) took of their clothes they would float away!'
me- 'I can see why your in the lowest classes'
YOU ALL SUCK!!!!!!!! RICH CANT EVEN FRICKEN IP BAN ME PROPERLY!!!!!!! U TWAT I CAN STILL GO ON SC WITH MY OTHER ACCOUNT!!!!!
Bad Wolf Posted: 05:44 Nov13 2005
Post ID: 516939
Bad Wolf
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What a complete n00b.
"Human stupidity never ceases to amuse me." Me
"Human stupidity never ceases to amuse me." Me
Super GoGoBananas Posted: 05:49 Nov13 2005
Post ID: 516949
Super GoGoBananas
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"Wolfie is making these quotes up as he goes along." Me
YOU ALL SUCK!!!!!!!! RICH CANT EVEN FRICKEN IP BAN ME PROPERLY!!!!!!! U TWAT I CAN STILL GO ON SC WITH MY OTHER ACCOUNT!!!!!
shiny zapdos Posted: 05:50 Nov13 2005
Post ID: 516950
shiny zapdos
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Lol! More Red Dwarf... Binks, a random Hologram who's speaking to his ship, Enlightenment and Dave again.
Binks: Binks to Enlightenment. Have arrived on the derelict. Confirm initial speculation: there is absolutely nothing of any value or interest here. It's one of the old Class II ship-to-surface vessels -- the very model, in fact, that was withdrawn due to major flight design flaws. Crew: three. One Series 4000 mechanoid, almost burnt out. Give it maybe three years. Nothing of salvagable value. Ah, Felix Sapiens -- bred from the domestic house cat, and about half as smart. No value in future study of this species. What have we here? A human being, or a very close approximation. Chronological age: mid-20s. Physical age: 47. Grossly overweight, unnecessarily ugly, otherwise would recommend it for the museum. Apart from that, of no value or interest.
Lister: Lister to Red Dwarf. We have in our midst a complete smegpot. Brains in the anal region. Chin absent, presumed missing. Genitalia small and inoffensive. Of no value or interest.
Binks: Binks to Enlightenment. Evidence of primitive humour. The human has knowledge of irony, satire and imitation. With patient tuition could, maybe, master simple tasks.
Lister: Lister to Red Dwarf. Displays evidence of spoiling for a rumble. Seems unable to grasp simple threats. With careful pummelling could, possibly, be sucking tomorrow's lunch through a straw.
Binks: Binks to Enlightenment. The human is under the delusion that he is somehow able to bestow physical violence to a hologram.
Lister: Lister to Red Dwarf. The intruder seems to be blissfully unaware that we have a rather sturdy holowhip in the munitions cabinet. Unless he wants his derriere minced like burger meat, he'd better be history in two seconds flat. *Eats his cigarette, and removes jacket*
Binks: Binks to Enlightenment. Recon mission complete. Transmit. With speed. Enlightenment, quickly, please!
A little Holly here for you:
IQ of six? Do me a lemon! That's a poor IQ for a glass of water!
Our biggest enemy is going space crazy through loneliness. The only thing that helps me maintain my slender grip on reality is the friendship I share with my collection of singing potatoes.
Emergency. Emergency. There's an emergency going on. It's still going on. It's still an emergency. This is an emergency announcement.
Binks: Binks to Enlightenment. Have arrived on the derelict. Confirm initial speculation: there is absolutely nothing of any value or interest here. It's one of the old Class II ship-to-surface vessels -- the very model, in fact, that was withdrawn due to major flight design flaws. Crew: three. One Series 4000 mechanoid, almost burnt out. Give it maybe three years. Nothing of salvagable value. Ah, Felix Sapiens -- bred from the domestic house cat, and about half as smart. No value in future study of this species. What have we here? A human being, or a very close approximation. Chronological age: mid-20s. Physical age: 47. Grossly overweight, unnecessarily ugly, otherwise would recommend it for the museum. Apart from that, of no value or interest.
Lister: Lister to Red Dwarf. We have in our midst a complete smegpot. Brains in the anal region. Chin absent, presumed missing. Genitalia small and inoffensive. Of no value or interest.
Binks: Binks to Enlightenment. Evidence of primitive humour. The human has knowledge of irony, satire and imitation. With patient tuition could, maybe, master simple tasks.
Lister: Lister to Red Dwarf. Displays evidence of spoiling for a rumble. Seems unable to grasp simple threats. With careful pummelling could, possibly, be sucking tomorrow's lunch through a straw.
Binks: Binks to Enlightenment. The human is under the delusion that he is somehow able to bestow physical violence to a hologram.
Lister: Lister to Red Dwarf. The intruder seems to be blissfully unaware that we have a rather sturdy holowhip in the munitions cabinet. Unless he wants his derriere minced like burger meat, he'd better be history in two seconds flat. *Eats his cigarette, and removes jacket*
Binks: Binks to Enlightenment. Recon mission complete. Transmit. With speed. Enlightenment, quickly, please!
A little Holly here for you:
IQ of six? Do me a lemon! That's a poor IQ for a glass of water!
Our biggest enemy is going space crazy through loneliness. The only thing that helps me maintain my slender grip on reality is the friendship I share with my collection of singing potatoes.
Emergency. Emergency. There's an emergency going on. It's still going on. It's still an emergency. This is an emergency announcement.
Bad Wolf Posted: 05:59 Nov13 2005
Post ID: 516971
Bad Wolf
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Again, I roffled. What channel is Red Dwarf on?
shiny zapdos Posted: 06:05 Nov13 2005
Post ID: 516984
shiny zapdos
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I'm not sure if it's on Terrestrial now, although it used to be on Channel Five... but I watch the boxsets or UKG2, random channel.
Bad Wolf Posted: 06:10 Nov13 2005
Post ID: 516994
Bad Wolf
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Okeydoke. *Makes a mental nore to get DVD box set*
"If it explodes, then it's cooked." A random n00b, while attempting to cook.
"If it explodes, then it's cooked." A random n00b, while attempting to cook.
shiny zapdos Posted: 06:34 Nov13 2005
Post ID: 517020
shiny zapdos
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Lol, and yeah, you'll enjoy it.
More for you all, and Colin might be on later. =P
"We are talking jape of the decade. We are talking April, May, June, July and August fool. Yes, that's right! I am Queeg!" - Holly with a computer virus.
"We'd better get a job. But what jobs are there in a backwards reality for a dead hologram and an android with a head shaped like a novelty condom?" - Arnold Rimmer, facing the depressions of his sub-reality.
"Please rush me my portable walrus polishing kit. Four super brushes that will clean even the trickiest of seabound mammals. Yes, I am over eighteen, though my IQ isn't." - Arnold Rimmer, in a state of madness.
"This is the first time I've ever been seduced by predeterminism theory. " - Kochanski, the only woman on the ship.
"We have three realistic alternatives: One - sit here and get blown up, two - stand here and get blown up, or three - jump up and down, shout at me for not being able to think of anything, then get blown up." - Holly
"Kryten, kindly get to the point before I jam your nose between your cheeks and make it the filling of a buttock sandwich." - Arnold Rimmer.
"Given that God is infinite, and given that the Universe is infinite... would you like a toasted tea cake?" - The incredibly insane Talking Toaster.
Holly: Rude alert! Rude alert! An electrical fire has knocked out my voice-recognition unicycle! Many Wurlitzers are missing from my database! Abandon shop! This is not a daffodil! Repeat, this is not a daffodil!
Rimmer: Well, thankfully, Holly's unaffected.
^ I roffled.
More for you all, and Colin might be on later. =P
"We are talking jape of the decade. We are talking April, May, June, July and August fool. Yes, that's right! I am Queeg!" - Holly with a computer virus.
"We'd better get a job. But what jobs are there in a backwards reality for a dead hologram and an android with a head shaped like a novelty condom?" - Arnold Rimmer, facing the depressions of his sub-reality.
"Please rush me my portable walrus polishing kit. Four super brushes that will clean even the trickiest of seabound mammals. Yes, I am over eighteen, though my IQ isn't." - Arnold Rimmer, in a state of madness.
"This is the first time I've ever been seduced by predeterminism theory. " - Kochanski, the only woman on the ship.
"We have three realistic alternatives: One - sit here and get blown up, two - stand here and get blown up, or three - jump up and down, shout at me for not being able to think of anything, then get blown up." - Holly
"Kryten, kindly get to the point before I jam your nose between your cheeks and make it the filling of a buttock sandwich." - Arnold Rimmer.
"Given that God is infinite, and given that the Universe is infinite... would you like a toasted tea cake?" - The incredibly insane Talking Toaster.
Holly: Rude alert! Rude alert! An electrical fire has knocked out my voice-recognition unicycle! Many Wurlitzers are missing from my database! Abandon shop! This is not a daffodil! Repeat, this is not a daffodil!
Rimmer: Well, thankfully, Holly's unaffected.
^ I roffled.
Bad Wolf Posted: 06:41 Nov13 2005
Post ID: 517024
Bad Wolf
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I'm still roffling. I have totally got to see this Red Dwarf...
t0ms0nic Posted: 08:54 Nov13 2005
Post ID: 517243
t0ms0nic
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This came from a Video I found of myself when I was 10,and so high on Caffine,I lost control,and went haywire,saying some of the Random things I could possible.
First 5 Minutes of being high:"Like,omg,the world is spinning so hard...why am I possibly even standing up? *slumps down onto the ground* Ohh...Crackers...and Olives...why do I get submitted into these kind of pains and agonies...why friggin' god,why... *gets back up and starts to run around like a Maniac,screaming utter rubbish*
I remember waking up in my Bed,with my Shirt and Jumper laying beside me,with a large bump across my head.My Dad said I had run into a Tree outside our House,and that a large branch had fallen down and K.O.ed me.What a little n00b I was all those Years ago...
First 5 Minutes of being high:"Like,omg,the world is spinning so hard...why am I possibly even standing up? *slumps down onto the ground* Ohh...Crackers...and Olives...why do I get submitted into these kind of pains and agonies...why friggin' god,why... *gets back up and starts to run around like a Maniac,screaming utter rubbish*
I remember waking up in my Bed,with my Shirt and Jumper laying beside me,with a large bump across my head.My Dad said I had run into a Tree outside our House,and that a large branch had fallen down and K.O.ed me.What a little n00b I was all those Years ago...
Cleaning up the cobwebs and un-covering a old Legend... t0ms0nic, thy name is Stupid. Approach with 50 foot long (advised more) poking stick. http://i1.tinypic.com/s3fpqa.gif = My Sprites. Don't use without permission from me. MSN me at [email protected]
r and c mega Posted: 08:59 Nov13 2005
Post ID: 517250
r and c mega
Posts: 6,717
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from THUG2 in Barcelona. As you fall into the water and die.
Some spaniard: YOU N00B!
Some spaniard: YOU N00B!
sigs are for losers
t0ms0nic Posted: 09:03 Nov13 2005
Post ID: 517256
t0ms0nic
Posts: 5,533
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Conversation between someone who randomly MSN'ed me last Night...
t0ms0nic:look,buddy,I gotta get my Homework done,so make it quick,or Stufu.
n00b:what dos stufu mean?
t0ms0nic: *slaps forehead*
n00b:wot?
* t0ms0nic has made his Status "Going out to beat Teachers with a Sledgehammer" *
Im pretty sure MOST of us can guess what the word means.
t0ms0nic:look,buddy,I gotta get my Homework done,so make it quick,or Stufu.
n00b:what dos stufu mean?
t0ms0nic: *slaps forehead*
n00b:wot?
* t0ms0nic has made his Status "Going out to beat Teachers with a Sledgehammer" *
Im pretty sure MOST of us can guess what the word means.
Cleaning up the cobwebs and un-covering a old Legend... t0ms0nic, thy name is Stupid. Approach with 50 foot long (advised more) poking stick. http://i1.tinypic.com/s3fpqa.gif = My Sprites. Don't use without permission from me. MSN me at [email protected]
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