Simple
Lurch = Nickname, Im tall, stocky, strong, can be rather slow, have an intimidating stare, used to look like "Lurch" from The Adams Family.....then I got a haircut.
5000 = Nice Round Number
Bout The Time I Set This Reccord Straight, All The Needle Nose Punchin' Is Makin Me Irate Sick Of My B!tch!n' Fallin' On Deaf Ears, Where You Gonna Be In The Next 5 Years?