StarDust shall live Posted: 10:58 Jul16 2010
Post ID: 2870234
StarDust shall live
Posts: 2,277
Post Likes: 1
Post Likes: 1
I'm working on a book and want to run this chapter by, since the age grouping for the book is 13-18. Still working on a title though.
All comments welcome. Now onto the story
28th May
Dear Diary,
Today is my best friend�??s birthday. I should be happy I am there to celebrate my best friends birthday party but for some reason I don�??t think I�??m going to enjoy it. It could be my imagination but this day doesn�??t seem normal. The air feels heavier than normal; the animals are more on edge than normal around me. I guess as the saying goes, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Clichéd I know, but that best describes this feeling. I mean the day has never been like this before.
As per usual I still don�??t remember much of my childhood. I was 5 is where I draw a blank. My parents taking care of me since I can remember, they say since birth but I do not know for certain. Most of my friends say I am adopted but I do not believe them. They even tell me I look nothing like them. That my features are different to them�?�.maybe they are right.
As I got home yesterday, it felt like it wasn�??t really home, you know. Once you have been gone away for a few years not visiting until a later time. Though, my best friend Cody was with me, it still feels different though he assures me it�??s the same as when we left. I smiled at him trying to pretend to myself that it was the same and also to reassure Cody I would be fine by myself. Though he stayed, helping me unpack, I felt like a child. Though then again, I am a child.
I may be 18 but I am different to most, I know what is better for me rather than partaking in stupid activities with my so called friends. I call them my friend�??s but I do not really fit in you know. It�??s like the new kid trying to join in with the popular kids. I feel quite bad trying to befriend them. At least I always have Cody.
I guess I should start preparing for my friend�??s birthday party, though I bet they will all be curious about what Cody and I were up too.
As I settled into the bath, the air seemed to clear around me. I let out a soft sigh wishing this feeling would pass, but it seems to want to stay. I relax in the bath letting my skin absorb the moisture of the water, as I let my stress go into the steam. I look over by the mirror towards the clock, eight o�?? clock. I should be finishing getting ready, but I close my yes for a few minutes. I open my eyes hearing the knock on the door; I look at the clock again, eight-thirty.
As I rush to dry myself off the door opens, �??Kevin, are you ready?�?� the voice floats around the house, Cody I smiled thinking at his promptness. He is always so punctual, even when the time is so early. I finish getting my shirt on as Cody walks into the room holding my jacket in his fingertips.
As I took the jacket from him, I shiver slightly, another sense of de-ja-vu. I slide my jackets sleeve onto my arm, pulling it on over me. �??I don�??t understand. Why exactly do we have to dress like this?�?� I looked at Cody; he let out a soft sigh as he looked at me as he had already explained the answer to me. �??I know we must act like adults, but we are still children.�?� I slip on my pants fastening the zipper on them as Cody spray�??s the cologne on my neck line.
As we exit the house locking it behind us, I feel the air getting tense again. I�??m sure there is something wrong, but I just feel strange about it. I�??m afraid to tell Cody as he will just tell me it is my imagination. We step into Cody�??s Mazda RX-7, red, the colour of blood, seems vaguely familiar. I close my eyes sitting on the black leather seats as Cody asks if I�??m ok. Nodding, he turns on the engine as it roared across the quiet countryside as we drive off.
As we drove the moon seemed to shine brighter than a normal night, something was off and I knew it. I let out another breath turning on the radio, the weather was on, rain as per usual. I looked out the window towards the lake and asked Cody to stop. I got out of the car and stood next to the water, smiling out as the moons light, hit the water giving it a shimmering feature.
A few minutes passed as I looked upon the water. My mood brightened with the recharge from the water and moon. I walked towards the car and sat back in, Cody turning on the engine and we were on our way to the party. I smiled happily listening to music now, the music from the car blaring out from surround sound.
Rosscarbery, the town Cody and I grew up in. The buildings were old, its people ranging from kind to down right stupid. The stench of alcohol and smoke fill the air making my lungs hurl even inside the car as we drove to find a parking spot. The street lights hit the car, with a tinted yellow glow as people talk in all directions I face looking at me and Cody.
A familiar voice fills the air, a scream. It was often the scream of one who I cared for deeply in the past, my friend Ciara. She wore a black dress, a pinned rose corsage on her dress; she looks as elegant as ever. I smile softly as we embrace in a hug, her skin warm against mine. �??How have you been Ciara? It has been some time.�?�
Her smile warms the embrace as she looks at me �??I have been great, Kevin. You look fantastic. Cody is keeping a good eye on you.�?� Smiling, she winks towards Cody. He acts like he didn�??t hear what she said and smiles. She breaks the embrace and runs across the street as the crowds of people leave possibly heading to the same location we were.
I look up to the moon and blink, the moon was red! I look for Cody who has crossed the street waving for me to catch up to him. As I step onto the street, a silver car pulls up beside me. I walk to the door as the window rolls down. �??Excuse me Do you know, where Cody is?�?� I nod slowly and the person opens the door standing up.
I look at the person, male of course and standing around six foot three. I blink as I look up to him and notice the suit he has on, Armani. I point towards the alley, that Cody ran down a few minutes ago and lead the way to him. We caught up to Cody after a few minutes. He just stood there his back towards us as thunder claps around the town. I fall towards the ground after feeling something on my back, falling I turn myself to see the man rubbing his fist.
I lay there my eyes feeling heavy as I watch Cody. �??You didn�??t have to hit him so hard you know�?� he said to the man �??Remember, he doesn�??t have the strength yet.�?� Cody kneels beside me poking my side softly. I scream out, my scream inaudible from another thunder clap. I close my eyes feeling too tired to keep them open as I pass out on the ground.
« Last edited by StarDust shall live on Jul 16th 2010 »
All comments welcome. Now onto the story
28th May
Dear Diary,
Today is my best friend�??s birthday. I should be happy I am there to celebrate my best friends birthday party but for some reason I don�??t think I�??m going to enjoy it. It could be my imagination but this day doesn�??t seem normal. The air feels heavier than normal; the animals are more on edge than normal around me. I guess as the saying goes, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Clichéd I know, but that best describes this feeling. I mean the day has never been like this before.
As per usual I still don�??t remember much of my childhood. I was 5 is where I draw a blank. My parents taking care of me since I can remember, they say since birth but I do not know for certain. Most of my friends say I am adopted but I do not believe them. They even tell me I look nothing like them. That my features are different to them�?�.maybe they are right.
As I got home yesterday, it felt like it wasn�??t really home, you know. Once you have been gone away for a few years not visiting until a later time. Though, my best friend Cody was with me, it still feels different though he assures me it�??s the same as when we left. I smiled at him trying to pretend to myself that it was the same and also to reassure Cody I would be fine by myself. Though he stayed, helping me unpack, I felt like a child. Though then again, I am a child.
I may be 18 but I am different to most, I know what is better for me rather than partaking in stupid activities with my so called friends. I call them my friend�??s but I do not really fit in you know. It�??s like the new kid trying to join in with the popular kids. I feel quite bad trying to befriend them. At least I always have Cody.
I guess I should start preparing for my friend�??s birthday party, though I bet they will all be curious about what Cody and I were up too.
As I settled into the bath, the air seemed to clear around me. I let out a soft sigh wishing this feeling would pass, but it seems to want to stay. I relax in the bath letting my skin absorb the moisture of the water, as I let my stress go into the steam. I look over by the mirror towards the clock, eight o�?? clock. I should be finishing getting ready, but I close my yes for a few minutes. I open my eyes hearing the knock on the door; I look at the clock again, eight-thirty.
As I rush to dry myself off the door opens, �??Kevin, are you ready?�?� the voice floats around the house, Cody I smiled thinking at his promptness. He is always so punctual, even when the time is so early. I finish getting my shirt on as Cody walks into the room holding my jacket in his fingertips.
As I took the jacket from him, I shiver slightly, another sense of de-ja-vu. I slide my jackets sleeve onto my arm, pulling it on over me. �??I don�??t understand. Why exactly do we have to dress like this?�?� I looked at Cody; he let out a soft sigh as he looked at me as he had already explained the answer to me. �??I know we must act like adults, but we are still children.�?� I slip on my pants fastening the zipper on them as Cody spray�??s the cologne on my neck line.
As we exit the house locking it behind us, I feel the air getting tense again. I�??m sure there is something wrong, but I just feel strange about it. I�??m afraid to tell Cody as he will just tell me it is my imagination. We step into Cody�??s Mazda RX-7, red, the colour of blood, seems vaguely familiar. I close my eyes sitting on the black leather seats as Cody asks if I�??m ok. Nodding, he turns on the engine as it roared across the quiet countryside as we drive off.
As we drove the moon seemed to shine brighter than a normal night, something was off and I knew it. I let out another breath turning on the radio, the weather was on, rain as per usual. I looked out the window towards the lake and asked Cody to stop. I got out of the car and stood next to the water, smiling out as the moons light, hit the water giving it a shimmering feature.
A few minutes passed as I looked upon the water. My mood brightened with the recharge from the water and moon. I walked towards the car and sat back in, Cody turning on the engine and we were on our way to the party. I smiled happily listening to music now, the music from the car blaring out from surround sound.
Rosscarbery, the town Cody and I grew up in. The buildings were old, its people ranging from kind to down right stupid. The stench of alcohol and smoke fill the air making my lungs hurl even inside the car as we drove to find a parking spot. The street lights hit the car, with a tinted yellow glow as people talk in all directions I face looking at me and Cody.
A familiar voice fills the air, a scream. It was often the scream of one who I cared for deeply in the past, my friend Ciara. She wore a black dress, a pinned rose corsage on her dress; she looks as elegant as ever. I smile softly as we embrace in a hug, her skin warm against mine. �??How have you been Ciara? It has been some time.�?�
Her smile warms the embrace as she looks at me �??I have been great, Kevin. You look fantastic. Cody is keeping a good eye on you.�?� Smiling, she winks towards Cody. He acts like he didn�??t hear what she said and smiles. She breaks the embrace and runs across the street as the crowds of people leave possibly heading to the same location we were.
I look up to the moon and blink, the moon was red! I look for Cody who has crossed the street waving for me to catch up to him. As I step onto the street, a silver car pulls up beside me. I walk to the door as the window rolls down. �??Excuse me Do you know, where Cody is?�?� I nod slowly and the person opens the door standing up.
I look at the person, male of course and standing around six foot three. I blink as I look up to him and notice the suit he has on, Armani. I point towards the alley, that Cody ran down a few minutes ago and lead the way to him. We caught up to Cody after a few minutes. He just stood there his back towards us as thunder claps around the town. I fall towards the ground after feeling something on my back, falling I turn myself to see the man rubbing his fist.
I lay there my eyes feeling heavy as I watch Cody. �??You didn�??t have to hit him so hard you know�?� he said to the man �??Remember, he doesn�??t have the strength yet.�?� Cody kneels beside me poking my side softly. I scream out, my scream inaudible from another thunder clap. I close my eyes feeling too tired to keep them open as I pass out on the ground.
« Last edited by StarDust shall live on Jul 16th 2010 »
GoldenPili Posted: 18:56 Jul17 2010
Post ID: 2870813
GoldenPili
Posts: 1,429
Post Likes: 0
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Looking good so far as for the story, I'll be interested to see where it goes.
Can't be bothered to pick out any grammar or spelling mistakes that are too obvious, cause
as far as I can see, there aren't any.
When the coroner cuts me open, I want the whole room to smell like potato wedges. - Gabriel Iglasias
Cheer's to Craizen for the awesome sig and avy.
Can't be bothered to pick out any grammar or spelling mistakes that are too obvious, cause
as far as I can see, there aren't any.
When the coroner cuts me open, I want the whole room to smell like potato wedges. - Gabriel Iglasias
Cheer's to Craizen for the awesome sig and avy.
StarDust shall live Posted: 06:53 Jul18 2010
Post ID: 2871101
StarDust shall live
Posts: 2,277
Post Likes: 1
Post Likes: 1
there are some but a friend will be editing the story when i finish it completely. You see, this fan faction will be chapter 1 of a book i am writing you see.
Legend_Trainer Posted: 00:23 Aug07 2010
Post ID: 2881480
Legend_Trainer
Posts: 1,764
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So the main character's a guy?
Damn.
The diary and the Cody as best friend made me thought it was a girl.
No offense, just my thoughts. :P
Overall, good story.
« Last edited by Legend_Trainer on Aug 7th 2010 »
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