Relationships

So, how do these bloody things work? Not that I'll be diving into one anytime soon, but eventually I'll try. It just seems so easy for things to go wrong, and if you're just not compatible with someone then a relationship isn't going to go past a first date.

Personally I just can't imagine 'being with someone'. It's just weird. How would it start out? Would you be friends first? Cause that could be awkward. Would you be strangers? Cause then you don't know anything about each other. I have friends but it's just weird to imagine being any closer to someone than just a friendship.

It's like I dodge the bullet of not having to have romantic dinners and movies 24/7, but then develop 0 future relationship skills as a result of just seeing everyone as a friend and only a friend.

For those if you who are in a relationship or marriage, or who have been in one, please explain.

Asking for relationship advice on the internet is maybe not the way to start.

I can't offer much.. just mainly though don't put any pressure on yourself. There is no rush to find love. and no requirement for it to be like anyone else's relationship. I'd say be friends first.. worked for me, but might be different for others.

Tbh Mark's post sums up what I think. I'm not going to think about getting into a relationship until I get into the job I want.

Just keep breathing.

Ask for her number/snapchat(dang kids). Communicate with her for a few weeks and then invite her out to a gathering with your friends a few times. If you like her then ask if she wants to see a movie or something. The date will be awkward. That's life.

I went on a date for the first time. She still talks to me so I'll take that as a win.

Sorry Jake, your advice is fairly good except your one fatal flaw...

Maybe I have to go down the path I don't want and try online dating one day... Otherwise in person it's like normal expect I throw a 50-sided dice and hope.

What flaw is that? Just talk to her and gauge her interest. If she mentions a boyfriend you'll know. If not just ask her her number and text her.

You're asking about something that has no rules. Being an adult no has training in..none of us. We are just doing the best we can and its the same about love. Dont overthink something that is natural. One day you will meet someone that just makes you feel that your blood is flowing so quick that your head will explode (in a good way). You will talk, you may talk for ages or maybe you will give a phone number and talk over a coffee or a beer. None of my experiences have ever been the same. Some have been a great starter conversation, some have been relationships that have torn my heart in two, caused depression and obligated to change my life.

Dont worry, dont shut yourself out. You have to put yourself on the line, open yourself up to being vulnerable, to feeling pain and to feeling great.
Being in a relationship is a partnership. There is compromise and working together to make life easier. Its not Hollywood, no one lives happily ever after but if you can co exist with someone and not want to kill them. Thats good.

Hope that helps

Geez who hurt you?

Is everyone just going to ignore the fact that J just came out of nowhere and began engaging in conversation as if he never left?

Of course, this is a forum not a job. The more people who come out of nowhere and jump right in the better.

Jake never left. He's always been lurking...behind in the shadows...

The problem is that if your advice was relevant Jake, I'd have no problem and wouldn't even need to ask for advice really. I would honestly nail coming onto a girl. But there will no 'her' lol. Maybe you weren't here for the...event of sorts. Imagine following your advice and just talking, but having your failure rate increase by 50x because 98% of the people you'll approach are straight.

Momma, I appreciate the long winded advice, but just like with Jake you're forgetting the different dimension that is added to me. It's like everything you've heard about dating and have seen on TV is twisted and you have to try work s*** out for yourself. I can't just casually meet someone and exchange phone numbers, cause there's a 2% chance there's compatibility.

Maybe it will have to be dreaded online dating. In that case, has anyone used it?

Well then my advice would work 98% of the time right? With the 2% approach it's much easier.

Your advice would work 2% of the time, or once every 50 attempts. And even if a miracle happens and it works, then there's still having things in common or the person not being a ****.

If you still don;t understand read my custom title.

« Last edited by Matt77 on Jan 20th 2018 »

You're a smoke?

You are still young .. i think.
If you are still young and in a position to meet people regularly (student, work in a large company or in a public facing position, or have lots of friends who might introduce you) then you really don't need to panic about getting into online dating. Although I can understand how it might be easier to use a system where you can be specific up front what you are looking for, remove the doubts and misunderstandings.
If you think it's time to try then go for it. Just don't be pressured to find your match quickly.. the best things are worth waiting for as they say.

Good advice. Or you could ask the potential suitor subtle questions to find out of he's gay.

"Do you browse 9gag?"
"Do you post on /b/ or /fit/?"
"Do you corner camp with a shotgun?"
"Do you pick Odd Job when playing Goldeneye?"
"Do you spawn trap?"

Or just send the message with body language. Look across the bar, make eye contact, wink and then give two kisses. Then head to the men's room.

« Last edited by KingofCorn on Jan 20th 2018 »

That's not a guide for a relationship. That's a guide for...other things.

I never understood how to start a relationship either. Not that I care to at all atm, all it is in high school is a distraction when naught usually comes of it. Just scars to hold onto later.

I'm homeschooled, thank God, so it's less of an issue for me. I'll just grind through PSEO into college first, thank you very much.


So really? I don't have any advice. But from what I know, I think you want to let it fall into your lap to some degree before you start chasing it, if that makes sense.

Oh yeah starting the relationship is fun. She'll send all the signals she's interested and she'll invite you out frequently but then she'll use her friends to tell you that she's not looking for a relationship even though she told you she is. **** the games.