if you have a funny joke post it here

Let me think:
There's a blonde with a really, really mini skirt and she's waiting at the bus stop and when the bus arrives she's like 3rd in line. And she realizes that if she tries to get on her skirt will slip up and reveal her underwear. So she smiles to the bus driver and turns around to loosen the zip. So she tries again, but she realises it'll still slip up. So she tries again and yet again it doesn't work so as she's about to try again: the man behind her lifts her up and puts her in the bus and she turns around and screams: "How dare you do that! What made you think that you could do that?!"
And the man replies: "Well seeing as you did undo my zip 3 times I figured we were friends.

Blonde jokes are cruel but funny.
A blonde dyed her hair black and went to a farm. She wanted to start her own farm so she went up to the farmer and asked
"Can I have one of your sheep"
"sure" The farmer was a nice guy. And off she went.
"Wait!" The farmer ran after her " If I can guess you natural hair colour can I have my dog back?"

I thought Priests went to Heaven, but lawyers ARE another case

[color=red]Why do cows wear bells?Cause their Horns [color=red]dont work.Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

right. lol, good one zoids, but a bit lame. lol, and igraine, gotta love that one

This isnt a joke but still hillarious :P

To: Tech Support

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of the phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Pokernight 10.3 and Beerbash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0, but un-install does not work on this program. Can you help me?

Jonathan Powell


To: Mr. Powell

This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many men upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES AND ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its creator to run everything.

It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than their original system. Look in your manual under Warnings - Alimony / Child Support. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPSs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur. The
best course of action will be to push the apologize button, then the reset button as soon as lock-up occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFS. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very
high maintenance.

lol. very funny. this one is a bit lame, but hey, it's still a joke...(you need to know who the muppets are) What's green and brown, and lies at the botom of the toilet? Kermit the Bog!

Here's a lawyer one:
There's this truck driver that always swerves to try and run over a certain lawyer and one day he picks up a priest and he sees the lawyer. So he swerves towards the lawyer, but remembers that there's a priest with him and he swerves away and he heres a bump. He stops and turns to the priest and says: "I'm sorry father." and the priest says: "Don't worry, I got him with the door.

[color=red]How do you call a fish? Send him a line.

lol thats lame

there was a magic mirror in the basement of a bar if you look at it you have to say something truthful or youll be sucked into it for eternity.

a burnette looks into the mirror and says "i think im the prettiest girl in the whole entire world."
and she gets sucked in.

ten minutes latter

a redhead looks into the mirror and says "i think im the prettiest girl in the whole entire world."
and she gets sucked in.

ten minutes latter

a blonde looks into the mirror and says "i think-"
and she gets sucked in.

ralf: good one, i heard it before

kenny: rofl, wootness!!! lol

youve always heard mine before somewhere stupid sister *note to self never steal jokes off sister** well then ill take my moms one


why did the elephant paint himself different colours???






to hide in the m&m packet

There were three people, Poo, Shutup and Manners. So...

One day Poo fell over and hurt himself very badly, so Shutup went to get help by calling an ambulance. he sais "Doctor, Doctor, My friend Poo fell over and hurt himself very badly... then the doctor says " Whats your name?" and Shutup says "Shutup", then the doctor says again "Whats your name?" then Shutup says "SHUTUP!" then the doctor says "where's your manners?" Shutup says "Around the corner picking up Poo" LOL =)

i have one.i have one!okok why is the state pensyalvania(i dunno if i spelled right)in usa has that kind of name?????

Try to guess}}
because its where they make pencils..get it pensayl.pencil.yeah i know dry.

rofl. This isn't a joke but it's funny. It's a true story, too.

Spike was sitting at the computer beside me. He doesn't spell very well. He asked me if he'd done it right (we're in BCA in school). I came over and noticed what he'd typed instead of "Pennsylvania": "Penisylvania"

*roffles uncontrollably for five minutes, then continues lolling for five hours*

hehe thats different lol
i have 2 jokes about those manhole things that go into the sewers

a man is walking down the street when he falls into a manhole.
his friend calls down "have you broken anything?"
he replies "theres nothing down here to break"

a man is walking down the street when he falls down a manhole.
his friend calls down "can you see anything?"
he replies "i dunno its to dark"

lol stole from mom again

lol Dem's good. Um...I had one...but then I forgot it...Er...Gimme a second!

3....2......1..... he forget it

Hahahaha, that reminds me.

A blonde laughs at a joke three times. Once when she hears it, once when she tells it, and finally when she gets it.

there is an indian named bowels.a construction crew is trying to force him out of his house so they can build a gas station there.
he goes to the doctor thinking that the doctor is the construction manager.he says to the doctor bowels no move.doctor gives him a perscription for clogged bowels.bowels goes home takes the pills goes back a week later tells the doctor bowels no move.doctor gives him better pills.goes home takes them goes back a week later says bowels still no move.doctor gives him best pills in the world.goes home takes them goes back week later tells the doctor bowels have to move why says doctor because house be full of sh*t says bowels