ok the grim reaper is at home i oresume lol but when all of your sims die the grim reaper comes and gives them a grave and when there is no other sims in yiour house i think he lounges there for a bit and then goes lol ( the cheek of him!)but thats the only way i know of that he lives in your house for a couple of hours but he doesnt live ther for longer than that.
And when you want to sleep with the maid you have to keep chatting with them until their relationship is to friend status and then you can invite them round when they are not at work or they ask you if you want to hang out after work and then you can do more things like gossip and flirt, but you can't do that when they are working.
If i know what your on about lol i think its maxmotives, but there is another one which i use and i know its totally reliable, enter boolprop testingcheatsenabled true then hold down shift then click on the letterbox and choose make all happy and all the sims needs go up near the top.
And i know what you mean there you get real frustrated with them dont ya lol i do , and sometimes she doesnt bcoz she needs something like foosd or sleep so then she goes to bed or has summat to eat make sure her need arae ok and then do summat for the baby but if you follow the make all happy cheat i gace ya a min ago then you wudnt have to do anything for the baby you can just leave them and they are ok.
And wow, your house sounds cool the biggest house i have done is 5 stories high.