The Crystals of Narlkant

Yeah, Seth's probably my favourate character. This fic will probably be his last appearence, unless I get really stuck in another fic. Or if I write a sequel. And yes, I have considered using him in an RP. I thought about using U'Shedrill too, but that'd be a bit unfair.

And yes, you did use "epic". And now, the final chapter!

Chapter 4

Thenardi was exhausted. He?d been searching the island all day, but there was no sign of the entrance to the underground cavern which he was sure was there. Of course, the villagers had warned him against coming, as none of the others who had come out here had ever returned. They were probably just bad sailors, and got themselves shipwrecked on the razor sharp rocks around the island.
Not that Thenardi was a sailor. Not a chance. The pay wasn?t good enough for a start. No, instead he was a professional thief. He?d worked for people before, but the problem was that they seemed to object to him taking a cut of whatever it was he was supposed to be getting for them. On reflection, taking those sapphires had been a mistake?
That was why he was here. There was a price on his head, not only by the palace, but by several of Narlkant?s most vicious clans as well. This was probably the only place where he could hope to find enough money to pay off all those who were after him.
The legendary treasure of Captain Redfang? but where the hell was it! Frustrated, Thenardi leaned backwards on a large rock to plan his next move. Or he would have done had he not passed straight through it. He landed painfully on his back, and stood up with a groan.
?What the hell?? A passage stretched on into darkness. Rubbing at a bruise on his shoulder, the thief followed it. After a short distance, torches appeared on the walls, guttering slightly in the damp air. Finally, the passage forked.
Thenardi pulled out his knife, placed it on the ground and spun it. The blade finished pointing back the way he had come. Frowning, the thief tried again. This time, the knife indicated the right hand passage. Satisfied, he put it away and turned right.
The passage continued for several hundred meters, with the torches becoming more and more infrequent. Eventually the thief was forced to stop and take one of them from the wall to light his way. With the flickering light source held above his head, he was able to see where he was going. And what was on the ground.
Bones.
The ground was covered in human bones. Maybe some of those treasure hunters had got to the island after all? Thenardi pressed on quickly, eager to be away from the remains. After some time, he reached a hole in the floor. There was a ladder descending into the blackness.
Now he had a problem. He couldn?t climb down the ladder holding a flaming torch. After a moment?s deliberation, the thief dropped the torch. It spiralled down into the dark, until it hit the bottom of the hole. Miraculously it stayed alight. Muttering a prayer to the god of thieves, Thenardi began to descend the ladder.
Halfway down the torch went out. Cursing, the thief continued his slow progress until his foot touched the sandy bottom of the hole. A gust of cool wind told him which direction to take. Slowly, he made progress along the passage he had discovered. The sand made walking difficult, and the pitch darkness made it all too easy to walk into walls.
Eventually, Thenardi reached the end of the tunnel. It emerged into a large chamber with a runic pattern on the floor and a large alter in the middle. There was something suspicious bout the room, not least that there was enough light to see by.
After a few seconds, the thief noticed two still objects on the floor of the room. Walking over to one of them, he turned it over. A grinning skull looked up at him. With a cry of shock, Thenardi reeled backwards. More dead bodies! These ones were still clothed in black with knives embedded in their half decayed flesh. Once again the thief considered turning back. He dismissed the idea on the grounds that he must be nearly there, and it would be a shame to go back empty handed.
However, there didn?t seem to be any way out of the cavern. Come to think of it, there didn?t seem to be ant way into the cavern either. Where did the entrance go! Getting more worried by the minute, Thenardi leaned against the alter and pulled a piece of stale bread out of his pack. Gnawing on it nervously, he tried to think about how to get out.
The alter shuddered. Thenardi stepped away from it and observed what happened. The entire alter slid sideways, revealing another hole in the ground. He sighed. Crap. It seemed that the only way out was to keep going forwards. It also seemed like something in here wanted him to succeed?
Putting his suspicions down to the paranoia which came from living on the run, the thief peered into the hole under the alter. A steep flight of stairs led down into darkness, and a smell of salt and the sea wafted up them.
Shivering with the cold and nerves, Thenardi began to descend. The staircase was long and slippery, and the pitch black of the surroundings wasn?t helping. Finally, the thief reached the bottom, stepping into a room lit by a glowing pool of water. His mouth fell open in surprise. The chamber was filled with piles of treasure. There was enough here to pay off all his debts, and still have some for his own purposes.
Then he saw the ship. It was a wreck, but still recognisable as a fast raider. There was no sign of any of the crew though? Thenardi stopped in his tracks, halfway to the nearest pile of treasure. He listened. The sound came again, closer this time. Bone on bone. He drew his knife.
A voice whispered in his ear. ?So, you be likin? me treasures then, yar?? Thenardi whirled around, and found himself staring into a grinning skull. He froze for a second, then fell to the ground as a bony fist connected with his face.
As he tried to rise, a cutlass blade pressed against his throat, and he froze again, his knife lying forgotten on the ground. More skeletal figures stepped out from behind the treasure piles, and still more surfaced from the glowing pool of water. The skeleton holding the cutlass to Thenardi?s throat was wearing a broad brimmed hat with a feather in it, and clothes which marked him out unmistakably as a pirate captain.
?Impossible??
?Really?? The new voice was surprisingly calming. ?Let him up, Redfang. I want to talk to him.? Slowly, the blade was removed, allowing the thief to sit up. He turned towards the newcomer, only to see him reclining on one of the treasure piles, arms folded behind his head.
?If a walking skeleton is impossible, then how come you got hit by one? More to the point, what?re you doing down here? I haven?t had a visitor for over three years, and he was totally incompetent. The name?s Shade, Guardian of Water. Get up.?
Thenardi looked blankly at the black figure. Shade frowned. ?I said get up! Akros!? A jet of water burst from the ground under the thief, blasting him into the air. Instinctively he twisted, landing gracefully on his feet. Shade?s eyebrows rose. ?Impressive. You might be the one I?ve been waiting for.?
?What??
?I could use someone of your agility. I give you three choices. Stay and train under me, or try to defeat me in combat and take the Water Crystal for yourself. The third choice is to leave now, and never come back.? As soon as Shade stopped speaking, Thenardi turned and ran. The assassin sighed. ?One more thing. There is no way out of here without knowing the secret. Stay. Train with me. Or at least give me a decent sparring match.?
Thenardi stopped at the foot of the stairs. Sure enough, there was no light shining down from the alter chamber. Defeated, he turned back to the assassin ?Fine. I?m under no illusions to my fighting ability. I?ll train.?
Shade grinned. ?Excellent! Lesson one: if you?re going to carry a knife, make sure you know how to use one. I?ll need to test your ability before we begin though??
The assassin stood up, and drew two identical katanas from sheaths on his back. Thenardi darted over to where his knife was lying on the ground and snatched it up, then drew a second identical blade with his other hand. He grinned back at the assassin, all previous fear dispelled. This was the ideal way to avoid his debts and become even more accomplished at the same time. Perfect.

Fin

Awesome. Interesting plot twist. I am, of course, impressed. This is the first one of the last four chapters that didn't have any death. It was also a little longer, too.

I say a couple grammar problems, but nothing major.

There was something suspicious bout the room, not least that there was enough light to see by.

You forgot the A, in about.

And another one.

However, there didn?t seem to be any way out of the cavern. Come to think of it, there didn?t seem to be ant way into the cavern either.

I suppose you mean "any"? You put ant. Lol.

Well, that's the last of an incredible Fic. So there isn't a sequel, I guess. Now a moment of silence for one of the greatest Fan Fictions of... my time. Lol. Have you made any more of them?

« Last edited by Twilight Knight on Apr 9th 2008 »

What kind of an ending is that?
Not that I'm complaining, it was a nice change for a final chapter, but I at least expected someone to die, as things should be.

Judging by the fact that he chose to stay and train, I'm guessing that there will indeed be a sequel. Not a clue as to what will happen though, seeing as there isn't really any loose and left to tie. Looking forward to anything else you may decide to write.

If there is a sequal (not impossible), then Thenardi will probably be the main character. I'm not sure what it'd be about though.

As for the lack of death: I felt that as an assassin, Shade wouldn't kill someone for no gain unless he had to. Or unless it was in the main storyline (shut up, I know it's a lame excuse :P).

Also, I'm already working on another fic. The tital hasn't been decided yet, and the begining is seriously messed up, but I like how it's turning out.

So, any favourite parts of the fic? Things that could have gone differently? Characters you would have introduced? Favourite quotes?

I would have preferred a different ending to be honest, that's my only complaint. Something to do with mass death and one lone survivor... or anything along those lines.

Quotes... I'm sure that there were some, but to be honest... and don't take this as insult, but I really don't want to look back on every chpater. Just rest assured that there were definitely some.

I can't really say anything about characters. Personally, I would have made up some legend about U'Shedrill, and that's about it. It just seemed more like he was chucked in at the end really. no complaints though.

Er... need more?

Explenation time!

1. I didn't feel like killing off all the characters, as that's how all of Pan's fics ended and I wanted to do something different. I realise you all like death, but I prefered this way. Maybe next time, m'kay?

2. The legend of U'Shedrill is a good idea, and I wish I'd thought of it. The trouble with it would be not revealing the ending, or accidentally giving away too much. Also, I couldn't have added the "never heard of him" bit after U'Shedrill's dramatic introduction.

3. Actually I had the idea for U'Shedrill about three chapters into the fic, and remembered it for almost a year until I was able to write it in! However, the method of defeating him was made up on the spot, which is something I'm not so happy about. I also should probably have mentioned Nullstones sooner. That's all, I think.

By god. I caught up. This is epic beyond belief. I won't write a review, but it was awesome. Final boss was great, I enjoyed the after stories, and just in general you have successfully gained many of my votes in the next Supercheats Fan Fiction and Roleplay awards. My congratulations to you.