Keep the story going.

So she stepped into the ladies room and caught a plane to New York. Once there, she called up her sister, but found the line was disconnected. After a moment, she realized this was because she was an only child. She hung the phone on the man in blue and green trousers sitting next to her and gave him some lint. He thanked her and she left.

« Last edited by CrypticWizard on May 6th 2016 »

It really was a bizarre world. At times everything seemed weird, but then sometimes wrong. Laura couldn't care less about what happened in her life, as long as she lived and others died. She saw the world as one giant Hunger Games; kill or be killed.

« Last edited by Matt77 on May 2nd 2016 »

That was her thought as she finished her shower. She turned off the water and stepped out of the tub. The smell of fresh roses surrounded her, which was odd because she had planted marigolds in the toilet. She walked over to get her hair dryer, since her clothes were all wet from the shower.

« Last edited by CrypticWizard on May 2nd 2016 »

Laura hated flowers and nature to death, so she planted them all through her house to remind her that hate existed in her life. As Norlem said, "Hate is the best medicine for the sinning sole".

And who wants sin on the bottom of their shoe? Laura started to walk to her room, but she stubbed her toe on a piece of foam pudding. She bent to pick it up and fell on her face. At first, she thought she blacked out, but in actuality she sort of dark blued out, but then she sneezed and the blueness swam away from her like a shoal of eels who have just seen something eels don't like.

« Last edited by CrypticWizard on May 3rd 2016 »

She recovered and looked out through her bedroom window. Someone was about to punch someone with a mace. "You should really get yourself checked out, and in", a voice behind her whispered. When she turned back, she fainted and saw stars, literally as she woke up. She was outside on a hill.

She looked over one edge of the hill and saw a 100-foot drop onto sharp rocks, and that didn't look like that would help much with the whole "staying alive" idea. She walked down the other side of the hill, passing a man with five heads and carrying an elderberry bush full of kippers. He was humming six different songs at once.

"Welcome, to the woooorld of tomorrow!", he exclaimed.
And in that split second, Laura decided enough was enough. She would stop the killing, the wandering, the watching, and she would stand up and do something. Sadly all she could accomplish at that time was putting a piece of rubbish in the bin.

« Last edited by Matt77 on May 5th 2016 »

The piece of rubbish was a piece of paper with her name printed on it, underneath which was an indecipherable series of letters and numbers. Underneath that was a drawing of a cat. Laura did not realize the significance of the cat drawing.

It was a drawing she drew as a small child. As a tear began to fall down her face for the first time in over 200 years, she took the piece of paper out of the bin and into her pocket, where it would be safe and treasured. The memories of drawing the cat brought back memories of her mother and brother.

She remembered that her mother had eaten her brother and had tried to eat her, but Laura had escaped by drawing the cat. Her mother was deathly afraid of cats and the drawing had saved her life. Whether or not her mother was still alive and searching for her, she didn't know. As she thought about this, the phone rang.

« Last edited by CrypticWizard on May 6th 2016 »

Why is there a phone ringing on a hill?, she thought.
Nevertheless, she answered it, hearing a familiar voice, but not her people-eating mother.

Spoiler:

It was Jake, from State Farm. She asked him what he was wearing, and he said "khakis." He was also wearing a diaper on his head, a pink tutu, and one of those big red clown noses that squeaks when you squeeze it, but he didn't mention those things.

Jake also had a brother called Ekaj. Ekaj was the man who built the hill Laura was standing on. Sadly for her and the others on the hill it fell over due to Ekaj being useless.

Luckily for the people on the hill, there was a nice soft patch of earth right next to the hill, so they all landed safely. All of them except for Laura set to work rebuilding the hill to make it more sturdy. They also fired Ekaj. Meanwhile, Laura was looking for her cell phone, which she had dropped when she fell off the hill. Surprisingly, she was still on the line with Jake.

« Last edited by CrypticWizard on May 7th 2016 »

"Sorry about my idiot brother, he's useless", he told her.
"Are you kidding me? That was awesome! Now people have to waste their lives rebuilding the hill while I get ahead of my schedule.", she replied.
"For crying out loud, you told me you stopped having races with your schedule.", Jake responded. with disgust.

Spoiler:
"What do you know, anyway?" she shot back. "You're just an insurance agent."
She hung up on Jake. Checking the race monitor app on her phone, she could see that her schedule was five miles behind her. That wasn't good--before the hill collapsed, it has been six miles behind. She would have to make up for lost time.

She started running, and running, and running. In fact, she could swear she was growing a beard. After weeks running, she was done. She could see her schedule was 261 miles behind her. If she reached the beach of light first, she would be given the precious item she had been hunting for for years.

But when she got near the beach, she could see her way was blocked by a cat. But not just any cat. This cat was twenty feet high and has a taste for human flesh. Laura knew she was going to have to come up with a strategy to make her way past the cat to get the beach and claim her reward.

She took out some mega-size bagon (bug stray) and sprayed the cat. It didn't kill it, but merely put it to sleep. She could now pass.