Keep the story going.

She then shook her head in horror. How could you forget about your friend North West?

A guy walks up behind her, puts his hands on her shoulders and screams "Boo!"
Laura spins around. "S**t!" she screams. "North! You scared me!" North stands there laughing while Laura hits him.

North West was, of course, not Nicholas Westerman's real name, which is why she hadn't thought of him at first. Laura Westerman, his first cousin, was one of the few people who knew him by his real name. He was also the second of three men she did not want to kill. Maybe he could help her pick a good movie on Netflix to watch.

He chose Saving Christmas, which was sadly an awful movie. Despite that, they still watched it all.

After watching it, Nicholas said, "Well, my three hours here are almost up. I'll have to go back." Due to his unusual parentage (this did not extend to Laura), he could only stay on Earth for three hours at a time. Once that time was up, he would be transported back to his mother's home planet in the Andromeda galaxy. It was odd that nobody but Laura knew Nicholas was a half-alien, even though he had three eyes and green skin.

When Nicholas left, Laura decided to take a trip to the Dreadnought Galaxy.

"Sorry, we're closed," the rude doorwoman said. "I need to talk to Colin," she said. "Sorry, we're closed," the doorwoman said again. Colin walks over. "Laura! Hi! Come in!" Laura and Colin hug and Laura goes inside.

Just before going inside, Laura shot the rude woman. Then she and Colin when into Colin's office. Unfortunately for him, he was not one of the three men Laura didn't want to kill. As soon as his back was turned, Laura used her handy katana to lop his head off. She was about to bag it up when she discovered to her dismay that she had a green bag and not a blue one.

"Sh!t," she says, "where did I put the blue bag? The rude doorwoman walks over with a bullet in her head. She's holding a knife. She falls over and lands on the knife. Laura runs screaming. She trips over something. "My blue bag!" Laura says and she picks it up and puts the head with the others.

She briefly considered taking to rude woman's head, too, but decided against it. She only dealt in men's heads. And it was hard to get a good price on a head with a bullet hole in it. Bullet hole really lowers the price of heads, as anyone in the head-trading business knows.
Another things that Laura found annoying was the problems she had getting good-tasting mutton at the local Jiffy-Lube, especially on Thursdays.

But lucky for her, it was Saturday, the taco place down the road that sold the best tacos, especially on Saturdays

On her way there, she burped, and in the process the entire continent of Antarctica was blows off the face of the Earth. It flew off into space and finally came to rest on a planet called France (a meaningless coincidence). This caused a shift in the planet's orbit, and in the end it plunged directly into the star it orbited. As it happened, that star was going supernova at the exact moment the planet impacted it.

Laura was charged with 6549 offenses but got extradited to her home planet far far away instead, called Swarm. She was so happy. She had hundreds of heads to donate to her planet's researchers and hundreds more to sell, she was home, she was gone from the planet she hated; Earth. And luckily for all the men on her home planet she did not want to kill a single one of them.

She didn't need to sell the heads, though, because her home planet did not have a monetary system. It all worked by equal trade there. So she traded the heads she had collected for a couch so she could sit down in her new apartment, once she got the carpet professionally cleaned. There was a very good reason why she wanted to sit in that room.

It had air conditioning, which the rest of the planet did not. Well it actually does but the planet averages a high temperature consistently and has awful air conditioning in public buildings. Here she could relax, watch movies on the television she already owned, and eat pretzels until she got a call.

The call was from the planet's police, who had found out about the pretzels. Pretzels were illegal on her planet, and she was convicted of a felony and sentenced to twelve minutes in prison. The things was, minutes on this planet were much longer than Earth minutes.

However, much on this planet actually meant the opposite. She got into her cell and scraped a piece of gum off the wall as punishment and then 40 Earth seconds later she was released and handed a bag of pretzels for her troubles; the same bag she had in her cold apartment. Her apartment actually happened to be made of ice.

Which was odd because she lived near the equator, the hottest area of the planet, yet her ice apartment never melted. There was a good reason for this, but it is insanely complicated and highly technical, so I won't bore you with the details. The only thing wrong with her apartments was the lack of windows, which was a problem for one reason.

Laura hated Mac almost more than anything. Instead of destroying her computer with a chainsaw she decided to take a stroll in the part and feed the birds; she loved birds.

But then she remembered that there were no birds on her planet; that was a habit she had developed while on Earth. So she got an idea, and went to see a friend of hers who worked for a bioengineering company to see if they could make birds to live on this planet.