Got any Funny Jokes (no Racial or Nasty stuff)

This one's called "A Meal to Die For".

There was an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman working on the top of a cliff. The Englishman said, "If I have cheese in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off this cliff."

The Scotsman said, "If I have jam in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff."

The Irishman said, "If I have ham tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff."

The next day, the Englishman had cheese, the Irishman had ham, and the Scotsman had jam. So they all jumped.

At the funerals, the wives of the Scotsman and Englishman said, "Why didn't they just tell us they didn't like their sandwiches?"

The Irish lady said, "I don't know why my husband jumped off the cliff. He made his own sandwiches."

Haha.

What is Black and White
and blue all over?

A Zebra at the North Pole.!!...

Ok.

Hi, I`m Tommy Turnip and this is my wife Aturna. I`m King of the Turnips. Here`s a pic of me and the Mrs`s!!...







any names or characters are fictional and not intended
to represent any person or persons there of;...


« Last edited by Billyo on Oct 11th 2013 »

Interesting veggies.

Some Character -

Where do the characters go when I use my backspace or delete them on my PC?
ANSWER: The characters go to different places, depending on whom you ask:
The Buddhist explanation: If a character has lived rightly, and its karma is good, then after it has been deleted it will be reincarnated as a different, higher character. Those funny characters above the numbers on your keyboard will become numbers, numbers will become letters, and lower-case letters will become upper-case.
The 20th-century bitter cynical nihilist explanation: Who cares? It doesn't really matter if they're on the page, deleted, undeleted, underlined, etc. It's all the same.
The Mac user's explanation: All the characters written on a PC and then deleted go to straight to PC hell. If you're using a PC, you can probably see the deleted characters, because you're in PC hell also.
Stephen King's explanation: Every time you hit the (Del) key you unleash a tiny monster inside the cursor, who tears the poor, unsuspecting characters to shreds, drinks their blood, then eats them, bones and all. Hah, hah, hah!
The Christian Church's approach to characters: The nice characters go to Heaven, where they are bathed in the light of happiness. The naughty characters are punished for their sins. Naughty characters are those involved in the creation of naughty words, such as "breast," "sex," and contraception."
Dave Barry's explanation: The deleted characters are shipped to Battle Creek, Michigan, where they're made into Pop-Tart filling; this explains why Pop-Tarts are so flammable, while cheap imitations are not flammable. I'm not making this up.
IBM's explanation: The characters are not real. They exist only on the screen when they are needed, as concepts, so to delete them is merely to de-conceptualize them. Get a life.
PETA's (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) explanation: You've been DELETING them??? Can't you hear them SCREAMING??? Why don't you go CLUB some BABY SEALS while wearing a MINK, you pig!!!!

Haha that's funny.

Very Good Key, That's wicked funny.!!...Yeah know, I always thought when you delete a character, There`s this little room in your keyboard that deleted characters hang out in,
until you find the need to use them again.!!...Billyo 10-12-13

Interesting.

Cool, Huh?
bye, my little character friends..
its kinda sad to see them go!!
oh well, They'll be back.!!..

Ok, snap out of it!! dang!

Ha.

What do you get when you cross a
policeman with a skunk?

LAW and ODOR!!...

Ha.

lets hear what you got?

Ok.
Spoiler:

I see nothing??

There is no pic?

oh, ok..?

Anyway here's this.
Spoiler: