Jokes

Hi!

This topic isn't for competition, just sharing jokes for fun.

The title pretty much explains itself, just submit jokes - as long as they're not intended to be offensive to anyone or could lead to Flaming.

P.S. Sorry if there's already a topic the same as this, I only saw ones that were voting for the best joke.

I'll start. What's green and goes red at the touch of a button? A frog in a blender!

« Last edited by TECHNO-LMB on Sep 26th 2008 »

Think thats backwards, anyway

How many real men does it take to change a light bulb? none, real men aren't afraid of the dark

What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?

One's a slimy scum-sucking bottom-dwelling scavenger, the other is just a fish.

a man was riding in his limo when he saw a guy eating grass.he tells the driver to pull over and asks the guy why he is eating grass.the guy replies "i don't have enough noney for food".the guy in the limo says,"come with me to my house".the guy replies,"but i have a family".the limo guy says bring them along too.the man says "thank you!you are very kind!'.the limo guy says,"you don't understand,the grass at my house is 3 feet tall".

lol^


2+2=Fish

best one.

There was a plane, and it was falling out of the sky because it was too heavy. On the place, there were four people who could jump off, and three needed to come off. There was a French man, an American from Texas, a Russian, and a Mexican. The french man steps up and says, "Vivla la France!" and jumps off. The Russian than steps up and yells, "Soviet Russia!" and jumps off. The American from Texas steps up and says, "Remember the Alamo!" and pushes the Mexican off the plane.

^Lolz. Here's mine
Skeleton walks into a bar and says, "Gimme a beer and a mop."

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one laughs.

Aw, that would've been my next one. Here's another:
A blond is walking along a river. She sees another blond across and yells, "How do you get to the other side?" The other blond looks around and yells back, "You are on the other side!"

^lol.
the washington monument in DC,it looks nothing like the guy.

What do you do if a blond throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull out the pin and throw it back.

LOL

Why do greek people light a candle when they turn off the lights?

To see if the lights are closed.

i dont get it.


there is a blond tskind a walk with her dad. the dad sees a dead bird and he says "look, a dead bird!"

the blond looks up and says, "where?"

It would've been funnier if you hadn't assumed that we all wouldn't have gotten it and bolded the word up.

To catch the master fish, the master fisherman uses his master bait.

I'm sorry, that was a terrible joke, I apologize.

Ohhhhh, that took me a minute...that was terrible.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in a bakery. The first one says, "Hey, how're you doing." The second one replies, "AAAHHH!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

theres a American guy a African American guy and a Mexican guy find a
skunk. the skunk enters a cave and the guys see who can stay inside the longest. the American goes in 30 minutes later he runs out. the African American guy goes in an hour later he runs out. the Mexican guy goes in and 10 minutes later the skunk comes running out screeching.

(not meant to be racist, I`m Mexican so I make fun of myself, most racist Mexican jokes come from Mexico anyway)

« Last edited by darkraiarceus911 on Sep 28th 2008 »

On 28-Sep-2008 kazualsk8r said:

Ohhhhh, that took me a minute...that was terrible.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in a bakery. The first one says, "Hey, how're you doing." The second one replies, "AAAHHH!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

That was funny.

There's a plane that's going down and about to crash. On the plane is the Pope, a young boy, and a Scientist, and only two parachutes remains.
"I am the wrold's smartest man! I have discovered Cold Fusion, I must live! The human race depends on me!" Said the scientist before grabbing a parachute and jumping out of the plane.
The pope then looks at the small boy. "You have much more to live for, you must take the last parachute." He said.
"Oh don't worry, there's still two parachutes left. Smartest man in the world over there just jumped out of the plane with my backpack." The boy said.

Did you hear about the magic tractor?
It turned from a road into a field.

Wow...
Looney, er, Loony: Thank you.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One's a slimy bottom feeder, the other's just a fish.
Lolz

Lol.

What's the difference between 'hi' and 'hello'?
They're spelled differently.