Fan Fiction Academy

I got some info from someone who told me about something, really helped. :P

Does anyone when teh homework for BW is due?

I don't know Screencheat.

Wait, never mind. I found out.

Hellooooooooooooo! Good work on the prior assignment, but I'm currently under the influence of Norwegian Death Metal, so here's another one for you:


"I'm very bored," said Lisa, who was reading a large book.

^ I'd like you all to write me that sentence, using as much vocabulary and skill as you can.

May as well be a teachers pet and be the first to answer- Lisa, who was reading a large, leatherbound book in the far corner of the classroom said, "I'm quite bored, nothing interesting ever happens in this class."

Lisa, sitting in a leather chair, legs on the table while reading a delightful book said, "I wish something abnormal happened to take me out of boredom."

Classy guys, very good indeed. MSN's gay. =( But anyway, I'll wait for a few more sentences, and I'll show you how I'd write it.

Lisa frowned, she was tired, not tired in the way that she was sleepy but tired of the teacher and her boring questions, she flipped pages in her book until she came to the end, she let out a light sigh and turned toward the boy next to her, "I'm very bored" she said flatly, yawning as she did so.

you all trying to out class me hey? typical, teachers pets!

Lol@Lucas. =P

OK, here's my sentence, and its justifications.

Perusing a weighted, leather-bound tale, the like of which mentioned the utilisation of strange mystical items and the destruction of varied cultures, the young girl yawned loudly, and slammed the book down with an air of resentment and a sickening force at its exhausting interior. Uttering fury at her extreme boredom, she wandered to the shelf, and plucked another supposedly fascinating article from its mysterious depths.

That's my sentence. Long, I know - but effective regardless. Why? Well, think about it. Everything is described and personified; the bookcase is given an element of interest, the book itself entails fantasy, the like of which is often so far from reality it's strangely calming, and it doesn't actually mention the female's name - only that she was reading to escape her boredom. It leaves you wondering who this young girl is, and allows for tension to be built up in the most rudimentary of activities, like reading.

Do we like the random translation of sentences, by the way - or is there anything else you consider more effective? Because I'd like some feedback on my teaching skills, if you'd like me to change them in any way, shape or form.

I like your way. Since you've already given the sentence, I have no real inspiration, nor any reason to give it a whack.

It was good, but I was under the impression we had to include dialogue.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. *Realises I missed a lesson.* Crap! *Runs out before Holly can yell "DETENTION!"*

On 04-Nov-2005 TestVirus101 said:

It was good, but I was under the impression we had to include dialogue.

Don't restrict yourself to the example. She doesn't want you to plug as many words as possible into the sentance she gave you, she wants to see something completely different, and original.

*Kicks James' arse* DETENTION! =P

And precisely, Giga. I never mentioned restrictions, because fanfics aren't under controlled conditions - they're about making the most of the material you've presented yourselves with. If you want to write thoughts and background, then do so. It's your writing, not mine. I'm only here to help. Bear in mind Jordan that there WAS dialogue there - it doesn't have to be in speech marks. A lack of conformity exhibits dormant potential.

And with that in mind... let's try this again, and this time boys, the sky is truly the limit. I want a paragraph from a sentence. I want emotion where there isn't necessarily any. There's no rules, apart from not utilising a dictionary or thesaurus, so do the best you can, alright? I'm not about to insult your intelligence, I just need to assess your skills.

The thing to remember is that I need to analyse your character here. We all possess different personalities that shine through in all we do, including writing, so if you're better at humour than drama, make your extract humourous, not dramatic. The idea, at the start of learning, is to acknowledge what you already have, then you can improve on your weaknesses.

OK, a characteristic, detailed and structured paragraph, boys. Any queries? No? Good. =P

"Damn, I am SO hungry!" Whined the child.

You know what to do, guys, so impress me! I'm going to start rating you from here on in, and trying to improve on your details and the suchlike. It's not to patronise, it's to assist. If you detest and/or find my teaching pathetic, please inform me.

The child, named Felix, walked around the house. Oh my god, why isn't there anything to do in this dull house? Felix goes to the ordinary television and turns it to the Food Channel. "Holy crap. Those people sure know how to make some great food." Then, his stomach starts to growl. "Mom! Can you make me something to eat? I'm starving!" There isn't an answer. "O wait, I forgot. Mom isn't here. This sucks, I have to get up and make myself some freaking food." Felix gets up and goes to the kitchen. He starts to look through the empty cabins for some food. "God, doesn't this house have some damn food?" Felix decides to give up and goes back to the t.v. "Screw it, I'll just starve myself to death until mom gets back with some food." He then picks up the remote control and flicks through the channels.

On 06-Nov-2005 screencheat2 said:

The child, named Felix, walked around the house. Oh my god, why isn't there anything to do in this dull house? Felix goes to the ordinary television and turns it to the Food Channel. "Holy crap. Those people sure know how to make some great food." Then, his stomach starts to growl. "Mom! Can you make me something to eat? I'm starving!" There isn't an answer. "O wait, I forgot. Mom isn't here. This sucks, I have to get up and make myself some freaking food." Felix gets up and goes to the kitchen. He starts to look through the empty cabins for some food. "God, doesn't this house have some damn food?" Felix decides to give up and goes back to the t.v. "Screw it, I'll just starve myself to death until mom gets back with some food." He then picks up the remote control and flicks through the channels.

Lol, I like it. Would you like me to be REALLY critical and comment on grammatical use, or just with the language?

lol Could the language be considered 'restricting himself to your example?' XP

I will go with really critical and comment on grammatical use.