SC Quotes, just for random amusement... =P

*tries to understand* WTH did you just type. lol. :P

Pantomime rehearsals - Darren is my son. Not realistically, but in the role he plays.

Here's some more...

Adam: *Filling in for Steve, because he had to go to work, and he starts the lines with a really broad Scottish accent* OCH NO! I WANT TO MARRY CINDERELLA, NOT YOU TWO UGLY B*TCHES! *Speaking to the stepsisters, my "daughters"*
Holly: *Slaps him* DON'T SPEAK TO MY OFFSPRING THAT WAY, YOU OUTLANDISH BRUTE!
*Insert roffles here*

Leo: *Walton Community School's answer to Handy Andy* Oui Monsieur, I can get you out of this forest - for the small price of one hundred gold pieces.
Robert: *The King* ONE HUN - ONE HUNDRED GOLD PIECES?! Scandal! *Turns to his assistant, who's meant to be called Pedro* GLOUKUS, WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET?!
*Mass roffling*

Laura: *Cinderella in the play* Why do you three insist on being so EVIL?!
The ugly stepsisters and Holly: *Starts singing Nice Guys Finish Last, by Green Day* NICE GUYS FINISH LAST, WHEN YOU RUN OUT OF GAS...
*Large amounts of laughter*

Martin: *One of the ugly sisters* Cinders and the Prince are so NAIVE...
Laura: WE'RE NOT NAIVE, WE'RE IN LOVE! Oh damn, I wasn't meant to admit that...
A random actor who's not in this scene: PWNED!

Sam: *Who plays Cinderella's mother* Who in God's name are you?
Robert: ME?! Who in God's name am I?! I am the King of Happy Wappy Slappy Land, I'll have you know, peasant!
Darren The Director: No you're not... you're the King of Far Far Away...
Robert: GO AND P*SS ON SOMEONE ELSE'S BONFIRE, WOULD YOU?!
Darren: But your bonfire's so fertile...
Holly: Darren?
Darren: Yes mum?
Holly: Shut up, before I ground you.
Darren: *Sigh* Yes mum.
*Roffles*

Man, my rehearsals are so funny...

Today at Harry Potter four at the local cinema:

Holly: *Talking to her best mate, Patrick, looking at Barty Crouch Jr.* Is that...?
Patrick: Yes! THE TENTH DOCTOR CASTS THE DARK MARK!
Holly: Well, that's conspiracy for you...

Holly: *After the film* That RULED!
Patrick and some random bloke on Holly's left: It was crap!
Holly: =O No WAY! Why didn't you like it?!
Patrick and some random bloke on Holly's left: DOBBY WASN'T IN IT!

Holly, Patrick and some random bloke on Holly's left: *Watching a trailer for Pokemon XD: Gale Of Darkness* POKEMON!
Some random bloke on Holly's left: *He looks about forty* I LOVE Pokemon! Igglybuff is so cute!
Patrick: Oh, that's alright then... I thought Holly and I were the only people tragic enough to like it, but if a man of about fifty enjoys it, then I'm in the clear...
*Man is getting steadily more annoyed*
Holly: Do you want a shovel?
Patrick: You what?
Holly: I said, do you want a shovel?
Patrick: I know that - I'm saying that you're not making any sense.
Holly: I was simply curious as to if you wanted to dig your own grave any deeper, because this dude wants to put you in it...

Lol that rocked Holly!

They were funny. :P

*Insert quote here.*

I don't have one...

Nice one, Holly. More HP4-viewing quotes.

"Owned!" Me, at various points
"Exterminate!" My mate, when the Dark Mark is cast (figure it out)
My mate, when "Moody's" Polyjuice Potion starts to wear off: I bet you a quid that's Lucius Malfoy
Me: *Knows it's not* You're on.
"Ayup! It's Dave!" My mate, after seeing Barty Crouch (again, figure it out)

Yesterday on the phone

Adam: Hey, you like Korn?
Me: No, why?
Adam: Why not?!?!
Me: I just don't like their music
Adam: You have no taste
Me: What do you know, you turned goth!
Adam: So? Goths rule.
Me: In my area you'd get stabbed
Adam: Remind me not to come to your house
Me: Why did you ask anyway?
Adam: They are signing stuff
Me: I don't wanna go
Adam: they're cool
Me: I just told you what I think of him
Adam: More stuff for me then!
Me: I really don't care. Now I have homework to do
Adam: Laters
ME: *put's the phone down*
*phone rings*
*heavy breathing*
Me: I know it's you Adam
Adam: Oh, how?
Me: *sighs and puts the phone down*
*phone rings*
Me: Fu*k off Adam! I have homework! *slams phone down*
*phone rings again*
Me: Oh for...*picks up the phone*
Dad: What the hell is the matter with you!?!?!?
Me: Eeeer.....that was you that just rang, was it?
Dad: yes it was bloody me!
Me: See.....the thing with that.....

nell:hey michael are you the worlds biggest eminem fan
me*moves eyes side to side*no why did you ask
nell:because you know more things about eminem than all of us put toghther
me:and you are imlpying
nell:that you know almost all the lyrics and almost everything about him
me:test me go on
nell:when was halie jade born
me:25th december 1995 there see i know more than all of you
nell:eminem is going to be my husband when i get older
me:dream on *pats her on the head

I just remembered a great quote from Thursday's Maths lesson. Imagine, if you will, a discussion about gaming...

Ross: What are you, some sort of end-of-level boss?
Wolf: Me? I'm that end-of-game boss you can never quite seem to beat. The one who's got more attack power than you'll ever have. I'm Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Clyde. I'm the Z-shaped Tetris block. I'm the embodiment of everything you can't beat in every game you've ever played.
Ross: What about the TimeSplitters monkey?
Me: Can you kill him?
Ros: Yes, I can.
Me: Then he doesn't count.
Ross: But he's ace!
Wolf: I know that, but Ninja Monkey's better.
Ross: He's rubbish!
Wolf: He's 3-star! That's three times better than your average monkey!
Ross: I can beat Ninja Monkey as well
Wolf: He's got a Monkey Gun, you're reloading, and he needs one more point to win. How about now?
Ross: Okay, so he might win on that occasion...
Wolf: Then I'm him.

"Oh yeah? Well I'm 4 foot 12!" ~my friend Patrick
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When's the fourth of July?" ~ my friend Kina
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caitlin: *tucks a pencil in ear*
Me: "How is that drawing coming?"
Her: "Good. Now where is my pencil...?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Ow!"
"What's wrong?"
"I tripped on my head!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thats all 4 now~

Lol! You guys are hilarious...

Today was awesome - family gathering round my Nan's. Read these, and wonder how I don't live in a rubber room with a padded floor and a straightjacket on...

We're all playing cards, just to let you know. Hearts, to be exact. My Uncle Lee, Auntie Marina, Dad and I, being watched by my Nan and two cousins. There's twenty quid in the pot, and this is the last frame - my Dad's storming home by twenty-four f*cking points, and only I can beat him... by landing him with twenty-five. If you're unsure of the rules of Hearts, those who get twenty-six points, which is all you can get, land themselves with nothing while everyone else gets the twenty-six. Less, in Hearts, is more. Lee already had a point, so Dad wasn't going to get twenty-six and "shoot the moon".

Lee: *Scribbling to me on scorepad* Have you got the Queen? (The Queen of Spades lands your opponent with thirteen points, and he already had twelve)
Holly: *Writing back* No, I gave it to Marina at the start.
Lee: *Writing* F*ck... alright, follow my lead - just make sure your father gets collared, and not Marina.
Holly: *Small nod*
Lee: *Sticks down a spade - the ten*
Holly: *Follows suit with a Jack of Spades*
Marina: *P*ssed off* For the love of God... *puts down Queen*
Dad: *Horrified* NOOOOOOOO! I ONLY HAVE THE KING!
Lee, Marina, Cousins, Nan and Holly: GUTTED!
Holly: *Dancing in seat* I wiiiiiin... I wiiiiiiin... =D
*Everyone roffles*

At dinner...

Lee: Erm, mother?
Nan: Yes?
Lee: There's no apple sauce.
Nan: Why in God's name would there need to be apple sauce with pork chops?
Holly and cousins: *Roffle*
Lee: Because it's the customary sauce, dear.
Nan: Oh no it isn't.
Lee: Oh yes it is.
Nan: Oh no it isn't.
Everyone else: OH YES IT IS!
Holly: Yeah Nan... beef with horseradish, turkey with cranberry... you're behind the times.
Lee: How am I meant to eat pork without apple sauce?!
Dad: Idiot... I'm sure you'll manage.
Lee: No, I won't! It's the PRINCIPLE of the thing! It's like black and white, dead and alive - they just MELD! Co-exist in perfect harmony! There can't be one without the other!
Maisie the cousin: Do you want me to eat your dinner, father?!
Holly: Yeah, Mais - I'll cut you a deal. Half each, right now. On the count of three.
Maisie: One...
Holly: Two...
Lee: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY F -
Holly and Maisie: THREE!
*He gets pwned by his niece and daughter*
Maisie: *Who's only seven* Care for some peas, Holly?
Holly: Don't mind if I do...
*Everyone roffles*

I have a mint memory for funny moments.

Holly: *After dinner and cards, and we're all bored* Alright, you lazy sods... WORD ASSOCIATION, RIGHT NOW!
Marina: Deep joy...
Maisie: I'll start! Germany.
Lee: Hitler.
Dad: Homosexual.
Everyone: *Roffle*
Nan: There's no proof of Hitler being gay, Clive.
Dad: Oh, come ON, Mother, use your imagination! The only people who survived his reign were blonde-haired, blue-eyed blokes between twenty and forty! What the Hell does that tell you?!
Everyone: *Extreme roffling*

Good point. And ironically, Hitler didn't have blonde hair or blue eyes. Which is probably why he topped himself.

THE funniest quote ever is:
YOU: *give a one or two-word explanation*
Your FRIEND: What?
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Lol, yeah...

This was my Mother and I playing Scene It the other night.

Holly: Alright Mum, here's your next question. Who plays the role of Severus Snape in the Harry Potter films?
Mother: Erm... oh, it's that bloke...
Holly: Well, no sh*t, Holmes.
Mother: Greasy-haired...
Holly: Yeah...
Mother: Sallow-skinned...
Holly: Yeah...
Mother: Evil-looking...
Holly: For the love of -
Mother: Mint actor...
Holly: Christ, this is worse than the time Patrick walked into the local Synagogue on that trip in year nine, and asked the Rabbi if he'd heard the local sports scores...
Mother: *Who's finally stopped babbling* You've never told me about this... what did he say?
Holly: The Rabbi told him he hadn't, and Patrick goes "Well, it's six million to the SS, and nil to the Jews."
Mother: ALAN RICKMAN!
Holly: Took you long enough... how did you make the connection?
Mother: Because he looks like a Yid!

Do I even want to know what a Yid is?

Wolf: *Explaining a five-hour Metroid Prime session, concluding in me fighting the three hardest bosses in the space of 45 minutes, to a friend*
Stuart: Sum it up in one word.
Wolf: Owned.
Stuart: You got?
Wolf: No.
Stuart: They got?
Wolf: Yeah.
Stuart: Gotcha.

A Yid is a slang term for a Jew. =P My mother doesn't really care what she says and when she says it.

Oh, okay. You learn something new every day, and Sunday's meant to be my day off from thinking...

You think? =O Well, there's my learning complete for today... =P

In town earlier...

Wolf: *After watching HP4* That was mint. Hows about we catch a train back? We can get the 1523 if we're quick.
Dez: When does that leave?
Wolf: WTF?

Idiot! Lol... ^_^

Do you like my avatar?

Banter. I need one like that...