The Dark Gotenks Saga

Ok,so this dosent have anything to do with Budokai 3,so what!When i watched the last episode of Dragonball GT,i thought it was the end of it all.So i decided to start doing my own sketches of SS5 and SS4 Gotenks.Then i spent months dreaming and writing out a new saga i call the Dark Gotenks Saga.
The whole point of this saga is Gotenks splitting into two Gotenks.One is SS10 (good) and the other is SS12 (evil).They are fighting to the death to determine to fate of the world and universe.

Good things:SS13 Jay and SSJ2 Goketa are gonna be brought back to life with the Dragonballs,see buu's fury thread for the story.
The battle between the two Gotenks's is getting heated up and they are pounding each other to death.I made up my own fusion calld Gogetenks (guess who he's fused from)

Bad things:By the end of this,every Villian in the Universe is dead.Wait!thats a good thing.Ah well.Oh yeah,and Majiun Uub is dead as well.

Right!Here goes.Lets get this started!

Episode 4:The Return of Jay and Goketa

The two Gotenks are landing each other blow to blow.

SS10:You must pay for the deaths of my freinds!
SS12:Uses instant transmission)Im here!(behind good Gotenks)
SS10:Die!Victory...
SS12:Not this attack...
SS10:Ok then,suck on this!SUPER-VICTORY-GHOST-KAMIKAZE-CANNON-ATTACK!(blast hits evil Gotenks in the front of his body badly)
SS12:What is this power!Nothing i can't handle anyway.(pushes it away like a pinball)
SS10:What the!!!
SS12:My turn!
SS10:...

Meanwhile,back on Earth,at Kamis Lookout...

Dende:Mr Popo,are the dragonballs assembled?
Mr Popo:Yes Dende,you may call up Shenron anytime you want.
Dende:Great,here goes.SHENORN!MY YOUR NAME I SUMMON YOU!
(big flash and Shenron's body appears)
Shenron:For summoning me,i will grant you 3 wishes.
Dende:Ok,first of all i wish for the Two people who were killed by the evil Gotenks back to life!
Shenron:Very well,it is done.

In heaven,Jay and Goketa are playing with the spirits.

Jay:Darn,I wish i was down there to help Gotenks...
Goketa:Me too

(their halos dissapear)

Jay:!
Goketa:What?
Jay:Our Halos!Theyre...
Goketa:Gone!
Jay:That means we can return to Earth and fight!
Goketa:Lets go!

(they jump off the end of Heaven and fly to Earth at incredible speed)

Will they make it in time?What wish will be made next?Find out in Episode 5:The death of Majiun Uub.

Phew,please tell me if this was ok please.

ps.send any stuff that could be improved as well.

Why is it hardly anyone is on these forums anymore?

it was wicked and tOmsOnic can you make me stronger than goketa in the story please as a mate

sure,sorry i killed you in the buus fury thread,but that evil gotenks is gonna pay dearly!ill make you a SS14 or whatever you want.just tell me what level you want to be

ok thanks mate can i be ss13 until my family is killed and i go into ss14 and then into ss15 coz he keeps rubbing it in my face

lol,hilarious and sounds good.ok.the next episode will be ready in about an hour or something.

ok thanks mate i owe ya

you dont at all.im doing this for free and for entertainment.

cheers you are a great guy

thanks a lot,i better get started on that episode.

yeah i'll leave you to it

wait a min though,are we the only people on this forum at the moment?it is a bit quieter than it was yesterday.

yeah oh well lets call it the gotenks forumn since there are just gotenks avatars

ok,but it needs to be the name of what im doing,the Dark Gotenks Saga.and anyway,i bet mega ozzaroo will come and ruin everything.

yeah i like it just us two coz it is like a private thread

Here it is people!the Fifth Episode!
Episode 5:The Death of Majiun Uub

The Gotenks are still at it!

SS10:Did you really beleive that attack was my best?Haha!I've still got many more up my sleeve!
SS12:What attacks?The scary Die-Die-Missiles?HAHAHAHA!
SS10:No,i mean like this!(uses instant transmission to get behind)take this!(kicks him really hard sending him flying towards a star)
SS12:(stops himself and turns around)You're dead you *****!(starts flying at the speed of sound towards Good Gotenks,only to be hit by something and sent flying into a star)Dammit!What was that?!
Majiun Uub:It was me!
SS10:Uu..Uub!What are you doing here?
Majiun Uub:Goku said to come here and help you fight this guy!
SS10:Bu,but Goku flew off with Shenron 2 years ago!
Mysterious Voice:Oh,really?Then who am i?
SS10:(turns around)Go,Go,Goku!!!You're back!But no time to talk!We need to kill this evil version of me!
SS12:Do you really believe you can?(is behind Gotenks and kicks him into the same star)Even with your two freinds,you can't destroy me!
Another Mysterious Voice:You think?(this person charges Bad Gotenks thrugh several Stars,and into the moon)You're not as powerful as i thought you would be.
Goku:Vegeta!You sensed it too?
Vegeta:Yeah,this faker is really something with his power level.
SS10:Err...guys?Who's taking care of that faker?

Out of the moon the Bad Gotenks is in,a small laser fires out from it,everyone dodges it except...

Majiun Uub:URGGGGHHHHHH!Goku,im sorry...I...hav..e...fail..ed..yo...(starts to fade away)
Goku:UUUUUUUUUBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!YOU MONSTER!HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HIM!YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS!!!ARRGHHHHHHHH!!!

There is a silvery aura building up around Goku,and his power level continues to grow.His hair starts to grow long and white,his clothes become fur,his eyes start to turn red,and his tail starts to grow out.The Awakening of SS5 was beginning!

Vegeta:What is this????
SS10:The evil Gotenks has done it this time.(sneers)His actions have caused Goku to become what the Legendary Super Saiyan 5,a saiyan form with twice as much power as SS4.
Vegeta:Is that even possible???
SS10:You're seeing it happen right now,aren't you?
Vegeta:...
SS12:This power...he is only SS5 and his power is nearly equal!Ill have to destroy you first then!HAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!(flies towards Goku,who is fully transformed)
Goku SS5:YOU WILL PAY!(both his and Gotenks fist slam into each other,causing a massive shockwave that send good Gotenks and Vegeta flying backwards)

Will Goku get his Revenge?Will Jay and Goketa arrive on time?What are the last two wishes going to be?Stay seated for Episode 6:Jays Resolve for Earth!

phew,im bushed.please tell me how good you think this is please!i need posts saying how to improve and what i should put in the next episode.any posts are accepted.

oh my god that was so cccoooooollllll you should be an professional author and right stories i am so excited about the 6th episode

thanks,i think so too.i just want other people to read it as well